FRO 1000 – LC 16

What makes me different from everyone else in this big world we live in? Honestly, not much.  I’m a normal, everyday teenager who loves to have fun and chill out with my friends.  Most of my friends describe me as funny, crazy, and chill. Coming to Baruch has definitely been different since I never would’ve used those three words to describe myself a couple of years ago.  I used to be the typical “asian nerd” back in my freshman year of high school.  I didn’t particularly like who I was back then; I had glasses, braces, and basically everything one hates especially when starting high school.  It wasn’t until sophomore year that I ditched my glasses for contacts and finally got my braces removed.  Senior year was pretty much my breakout year where I felt everything was going right for me.  I started to have a lot more confidence in myself which I think has really helped me this first semester here.  I was never part of the “popular group” in school, but I have a variety of friends who don’t care who I am, or what I have.  I don’t have any special or amazing talents, or amazingly good looks, but I do have one of the most important things in life, an amazing loving family, and a group of the most loyal friends any person could ask for.  Right now, I love where my life is headed and I’m satisfied with myself and being a normal teenager is just fine with me.

Looking in the mirror I see a tall, blond haired, blue eyed girl. A girl not yet a woman but no more the little girl she used to be. Everyone sees this when they look at me, some claim to see more, they say that they see a Ukrainian, and a girl who adores cats. But the mistake that people make is that they claim this as their viewpoint of me. No that is not how you see me these are just things I have implemented in your mind and you just go along with them.
Let me tell you what I see, what I really see when I look in the mirror. I see a girl who acts like she has everything under control even when things fall apart around her. I see a girl holding her head up high and acting like the world should be thrilled and over joyed that she is walking upon it. But actually this girl has so many old scars and wounds that its a wonder how she keeps things together. Oh no this girl is not a nutcase and she is not going to loose it anytime soon, but she wants to. Oh how she wants to let her guard down and let the world in. But this girl has learned the hard way that when you let people in, you will get hurt. People would take advantage of you rip your heart out stomp on it, beat it up, cut it up and throw it away leaving you with nothing.
So this girl learned the hard way that its better to seem strong and in control then weak. People respect and fear those who are strong.
As I look into the mirror I see me, a girl that people would describe as weird, crazy, bitchy, stubborn, strong, scary, sarcastic, funny, loyal, and above all an acquired taste. Yes I am an acquired taste no person who has ever met me and spent time with me, could ever say that I am anything but an acquired taste. If people have the stupidity of calling me nice, well then you haven’t met me have you!

 

There’s a first to everything. Like doing a monologue. Definitely a first for me. But going to school on 23^rd street is not a first for me. I didn’t think that I would end up coming to Baruch. I mean I already went to Baruch High school, now I’m just moving 2 blocks down. Like 4 years is not enough, I might be here for another 4 years. Honestly, I’m still not sure if I’m in the right college. Picking my college was very stressful for me. I was between a SUNY and a CUNY. But at the end I choose Baruch. But the past month at Baruch went pretty well and I kind of like it here. It’s all about being independent here, managing your time and one tells you what the homework is. Because that’s what the syllabus is for. Hopefully this will be the right school for me. I hate making decisions because they make my head hurt. I’m such an indecisive person that it annoys me sometimes. Maybe that’s why sometimes I’m confused about my major.  Maybe college will be the chance for me to change. To stop being so indecisive.

I feel like ever since I started college I’m constantly being asked “who am i.” I dont really know who I am honestly. I think I’m a nice person but if you do something that disrespects me I have no problem calling you out on it no matter who you are. Im outgoing and I always say whats on my mind. Im never embarresed of who I really am, I dont care what people think of me. I never follow the crowd, I have fun in my own way, not what society says is considered fun for a teen. I have probably one of the biggest obbsessions with Lady Gaga, to the point that its sick. I rarely have confrontation with anyone but if I do its almost always over me defending Gaga. I trust almost no one, Ive been hurt by so many people in my life, mainly girls, that ive given up on the title of a bestfriend. Girls can be brutal, I wish we were more like guys. Ive had a boyfriend for over 3 years, I get along with him better then anyone even though we get on eachothers nerves 100% of the time. He’s the only one I truly trust. I cant really think of anything else that really defines me so ill start to talk about this semester.

My first semester has been pretty good so far. I think ive grown up alot since college, i went from never taking public trasportation I was always scared, to now traveling into manhatten on my own everyday. Ive also started to gain some study habits and learned how to prioritize my time, in high school I never did any school work, ever. I was so nervous because I honestly thought I was going to hate it here. Everyone made it sound like a miserable place that you did homework every second of your free time, no one made friends and etc. Its really not bad like everyone says. Ive made some really good friends and I have fun here. Another thing is that my group of friends here is so much different then back home. Back home I went to a school that was like 99% italian american, just like me. The only diversity that we had was between the italian-americans that thought they were like the cast of jersey shore, and the italian americans that were normal, like me. Here I have a group of friends that are all of different nationalities. Its actually cool to learn about how people the same age as you and in the same school are so completely different. Another thing I love about the city is that Gaga grew up here and when shes in new york she goes on random bike rides so im always on the look out for her, because that would obviously complete my life. =)

I always wanted to dorm in college. Always as in when i was 7, 13 and even now 18. Why? Because i want to get away from my parents. I love them and all, but seriously some times i just want that independence. Its annoying hearing somebody to tell you to eat dinner, do your homework, and go to sleep every single day. Mom, I’m 18 i dont need someone to tell me to go to sleep. But reality is reality -dorming isn’t the most important thing in college — getting a good education in a good school is the most important thing. As lame as it sounds, its true. And thats how i ended up baruch. no campus whatsoever. But thats not the point– the point is that i want to major in either finance or accounting and Baruch has a really good business school. Thats part of the reason why i chose to come to Baruch. The other part is that i really dont wanna do myown laundry and eat ramen everyday. and now i know that i didnt make a wrong decision. i’m really enjoying my first semester here.

After around a month at Baruch I’m learning new things about myself everyday. I didn’t actually think I’d adjust as well as I did. I gotta say, aside from one or two classes its not bad at all. Theres just one thing thats constantly in the back of my mind; if i don’t do well on a test or a paper i feel like it will prevent me from ever getting an A in that class and doing well overall. Oh ya and then theres math, but lets not talk about that.

Coming into the school year I really didn’t think I’d have as much fun as I do. Im happy I met some nice cool kids to chill with.

For next semester there are two things I’d really like to make sure I change from this semester. First and the main one is making sure that I do not have class on fridays, didn’t realize how awesome it was to have the week over with on thursday. And secondly which is not a main priority would be to adjust my schedule so that I finish the day a little later but wake up a little later.

When I first got to Baruch, on the first day, i was curious to see how well I could make friends and if I would like my classes or not, since college is a big transition from high school life. And to be honest, I kinda miss high school. Upon arrival at Baruch, I saw at the front entrance all the students that will almost certainly be future lung cancer patients. I met my fellow learning community members shortly after, and at first they seemed cool. There was this one kid who I thought would have a hard time because when his name was called, there was this other kid, I won’t mention his name, but he is from Staten Island who was laughing in the back. But we moved past that now we are all good friends. I had already been to my dorm the day before, and the kids there were lets just say not as welcoming as I had hoped. Let me rephrase that. They are ASS HOLES. All they do at night is smoke and stink up the place. And when they aren’t doing that, they gather together in a circle and… enough said. I knew if I didn’t like the kids at Baruch, that I would at least have one friend because my best friend from high school also goes here, so if i had any problems, I’d just hit her up. But thankfully, I made good friends fast and easy, and I also have 2 or 3 friends at my dorm. Now were close to a month and a half into the semester, and college is going pretty good. Its nothing like high school, because we actually have to read, and in high school, we had math teachers that knew how to do math. I also tried to be socially active in clubs at the school, so I joined the Finance and Economics Society at Baruch. Now I didn’t know that it was possible to be rejected from a student organization that is open to everyone, but unlike every other person that joined the club, I got rejected. Something is definitely up but theres nothing i can do about it, and i got work to do. So ..later.

 

I hate waking up early. I’ve had serious thoughts of dropping out, just for that reason, but then I figured that my life would probably be even harder without a college degree and that I might have to wake up even earlier for some crappy job. So, I’m staying. As far as difficulty, I really do not find any of our classes too difficult in matters of content, except that math is a bummer and I’m doing most  of the learning on my own for obvious reasons. I would have preferred a horizontal campus with more greenery and cheaper food, but aside from that, Baruch is great for me. It accommodates my desired major. Also, it ranks highly in the U.S. News list for business schools in the nation. I as well joined FES, a club dedicated to advising alumni in terms of internships, resumes, Professional etiquette, etc. I find FES very useful and advantageous, being that they have strong ties to career recruiters and some of them are recruits themselves. Overall, college has turned out to be not so different from high school. I just do a lot more reading now. Well, I should be. That probably explains why I do poorly on nearly all of my exams. I’ve got to get on my A-game. Peace be with you, dawg.

Hey, I am not to good at this free writing thing and I know this monologue is gunna be just as bad but I have to do it so here it goes. I didnt know what to expect from this semester. What friends I would make or how I would do in my classes. But the thing I was wondering the most would be  if I would be able to adjust to life off my little island. On staten island I went to a school that was nothing like this. First we had to wear a uniform everyday so there was no wasting time deciding on what to wear. Second the school was all guys so they acted 100 percent different. The thing I liked the most was the fact that it was only two minutes away from my house which was great. I basically considered my high school like a day care for teenagers. So I was a little scared of how Baruch would be and if  I could handle college. The semester started off a little rocky but I got the hang of it. I’ve met really good friends, my classes are pretty easy and I think I can get used to the city. Hopefully this whole college thing could stay this easy.

Now that I don’t have a math test to study for, I can write about my experience this semester. Aside from having an extremely hard time with math, I think I’m having a pretty good first semester at Baruch. Even though some classes are boring I don’t mind because the professors aren’t too bad. At first I wasn’t too sure if I would like it here at Baruch since it’s pretty much like high school. I hated the idea of having to wake up early to commute to school but I’ve learned to deal with it. Originally, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to major in but now I’m thinking about being an accountant. Even though everyone tells me accounting is a very boring job, it’s okay because I can be a pretty boring person. Since I’m not doing so well in math or english, my goal this semester is to pass precalc and write better essays.