Monologue

Vanessa Pereira
FRO LC19
Monologue
 
​When I asked my cousin about her experience in college, she told me that it was really hard, but fun. I’ve only been a college student for about 2 months but I get what she means. When it comes to the difficulty level, it isn’t really the work that is hard, or even the load, it is the act of balancing everything together. Living away from home, not having to worry about parents knowing your every movement or asking for permission to do anything it’ s nice but at the same time we forget to make boundaries for ourselves.
​In my first month, of college, I can’t remember a time when I did homework or studied in my room, at least not before midnight. What I can remember is struggling to finish a paper an hour before class and feeling tremendously tired because I hung out with my roommates until 2 or 3 in the morning. I always put things off and since most of my homework consisted of reading, it was easy for me to put it off and even easier for me to end up with 10 chapters instead of 2 to read the night before a test. Living in the city makes it even harder to focus on school work, since there is always something to do and so many places to shop and eat. Having a roommate who only started school in late September, always wanting to party, or have friends over doesn’t make it any easier.
​Why do I always do this to myself? That’s what I ask myself when I’m cramming for a test the night before or finishing a paper and sending it at exactly the time that it is due. I know that I am easily stressed, even over nothing, yet I continue to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute. It would be a lot easier if I could just get the assignment and do it as soon as possible, but it is easier said than done, I mean it’s exactly 3:16 a.m. and I still haven’t finished typing this monologue. In high school, it wasn’t a big difference for me, in fact I feel like I had a heavier work load than I do now and I still procrastinated. However, the difference is that I always had teachers who would let us know if we were failing and continuously remind us when things were due and if things were not handed in. Not only that but I also had my parents who would constantly ask me if my work was done. I hardly ever went out during the week, especially since most of my friends didn’t either. Also, knowing that my parents were going to see my report card I made sure that I kept my grades up.
​College is different, not just harder. There is no progress report sent to my parents or teachers who remind us when assignments are due or who tell us if we are failing. It all depends on us. I have to have the motivation for myself to keep up my grades and to make sure that everything gets done. I also have to be the one to realize that maybe it is worth doing things ahead of time, and to decide if I am making the right choice by going out or spending time with friends instead of doing my school work. I realize all of this now as I am saying it, but then again as I am saying this I realize I probably won’t stop procrastinating and stressing myself out.