FRO12 BMD

I don’t get the point of complimenting someone when it’s really an insult in disguise. Like, one time, my sister was like “Hmm, I almost like your hair like that.” And in response, I said “…Well thanks for almost complimenting me.” Or another time back in high school, I walked into class and my friend exclaimed, “Hey, you look good today, what did you do?” Like…what are you trying to say? Do I not look good everyday? Haha, kidding, but that was a pretty accurate description of what a complimentary insult is. Same with ‘you’re pretty cute’ or ‘hey that’s a nice shirt, but it doesn’t look that good on you.’ Sometimes I think that it’s almost an art form. To be able to compliment someone, yet insult them at the same time.

When I went to visit a friend of mine that I haven’t seen in a few months, she said to me “You got skinny while I was gone!” Her tone was critical. Judgmental at best. Well hey to you too. And what does that even mean? Was I fat before? How do you even respond to that?

Sometimes though, it depends on the context. I learned to be indifferent to compliments as I grew up because most of them seemed to be either self-serving or something that was socially expected. And if I was looking for something genuine, well I rarely ever got that. I’m still pretty indifferent to compliments, but that’s not the case with insults. And that’s how I tell the difference between the two.

Other times, my sister and I would give these complimentary insults to each other or ‘complisults as I like to call it. “I wish I had your figure. No one would even notice that you’re not pretty!”  “You’re so hard-working; if I was as dumb as you, I would have had to drop out of school by now.”  It’s all in good fun.

But really, just take these complisults with a grain of salt. I doubt any of you are capable of doing much else. (psst, see what I did there?)

There’s a blank page, I’ve been staring at, not knowing whom I’m writing to. I glance around maybe him, or her or the barista but I can’t decide.

I’ll start with my wake up to the crisp fall air, glancing at the clock to see if I can squeeze an extra five minutes of sleep. But once again it’s the same morning routine just like it was through junior high then high school and now college. But this year it is different, new friends, new route to school, new schedule and just a new environment.

Uff… School.

Used to be fun when we had playtime and snacks; and oh let’s not forget naps.

Haha… Getting a sufficient amount of sleep isn’t possible. It’s like we are always stuck in the triangle with three possibilities a social life, being successful in school and getting a sufficient amount of rest but we only have time for two of the three. How can we seem to manage all that, I guess we have to cut out anything useless, so goodbye friends that I never really cared for, goodbye going out often with friends, goodbye to ANY fun I could imagine. That’s just how I feel sometimes as I strive to balance everything I want. But in the end I don’t think I’m capable of doing that.

So, as I sit through class I see all of what is going on. Just like any first week things weren’t bad.  I mean finally I didn’t have to sit filling out delaney cards but I do get to sit next to complete strangers. What makes that worse is that neither of us talks for the next weeks, not one word.  Not having a conversation with the person sitting next to is horrible for a person who can talk for ages. It even feels awkward asking for a pen.

But the professors aren’t that bad…
Not until their voices begin to sound monotone and as your eyes decide to pull the covers over.
Suddenly I’m wide-eyed and fully functioning, why is that?
Possibly it’s the loud, gurgling and rumbling sound coming from my stomach. Suddenly I bolt up, look beside my neighbors to see if they noticed but of course they did. How could they not hear the obnoxious loud sound coming from my stomach it’s not like their was a car honking in the middle of class.
I sit back, suddenly I’m warm, I take off my jacket and feel my skin flush with color and hope my stomach doesn’t growl again.
I try to distract myself, I look over and see a girl in those heeled boots thinking how could she possibly daily feel comfortable like that, oh that guy is in a suit as always. I begin to think of what I should get done today: go to the cleaners, read that chapter for psychology, study for that history quiz, and work on my English essay and can’t forget that power nap.  Oh hey I see people from my block.

Okay so I think it’s time to get back to focus.  I pick up my pen maybe I’ll take some notes. I look down at my paper and glance at my nails. Today, I’m proud of how they look, freshly manicured just how I like it. So now I REALLY should focus in class… okay one last thing, I remember I have a snack in my bag, well there must be one somewhere in their. So now I dig through my bag, no doubt having those around me think what could I carry in their, as I take out my water, a granola bar and maybe some pretzels. So I think my stomach is satisfied now. Okay Mr. Professor please go on now with this lesson now.