I don’t really have a favorite enrichment workshop, but I guess the Baruch Voices was the most interesting (with the Rubin Museum in a close second). I liked hearing the monologues from other freshman because bits and pieces of the ones that were performed hit home for me. Like talking about trying to distance yourself from your overprotective parent or trying to have a fresh start or feeling like sometimes you’re stuck in high school or even just wanting to go back to when you were younger and things were simpler. Voices didn’t really inspire me. I’m not going to go out and become the most outgoing person in the world that is involved in a bunch of clubs and such. I’ll take my time; test the waters with a club or two so I don’t drown with homework, clubs, and work. It seemed like Voices was shorter this time than it was when we saw it on convocation day. I kind of wish it would have been longer to represent more people because there were a lot of good monologues in our class alone.

I picked this picture because it sums up my experience at Baruch fairly well. I’m not a social/outgoing person when people first meet me and I hate small talk, so I just don’t talk to people unless I find something in common with them. Because of my uber-antisocial behavior, I’ve only made very few friends, but I’m completely okay with that. I’d rather had a smaller, more intimate group of friends than a large group of acquaintances.

In my first three months at Baruch, I noticed that it helps to be involved in clubs or something of that sort to get to know people since it is a commuter school and people go their separate ways instead of staying/dorming on campus. I also noticed that it is a very diverse group of students which I like because it’s interesting learning about the different people that come to the school. It is a stark contrast to my HS back home where there are a bunch of rednecks and farmers. Another thing I noticed is that Baruch administration can be quite a headache. I’ve had to run to the offices in the library building and the VC so many times, it’s exhausting to think about.

At the end of the day, I don’t mind Baruch. It wasn’t my first choice school, but I think I’m getting a pretty decent education for what I’m paying. I’ve definitely learned to be even more independent by going here and have gained a better work ethic and time management skills.

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So… what to write about?

Should I write about coming to the city?

How this urban, concrete jungle is a stark contrast to my suburban, almost rural upbringing?

Should I write about how listening to the cars speed by on FDR Drive all hours of the night has become almost as soothing as the train back home faintly chugging by?

Should I mention how nice it is to smell pollution over the smell of cow manure and fresh mulch from the local farm?

Or maybe how I’m begrudgingly adjusting to my curfew in the city because I never needed one in Pennsylvania until I moved to the projects

Should I write about how I miss my dog more and more every day because my Aunt and Uncle have an annoying, yappy little chihuahua that barks nonstop?

Should I mention how I made a promise to myself before school to be a happier, more outgoing version of myself and I am obviously failing miserably?

Or maybe I should talk about how this entire experience doesn’t feel real

How I feel like I’m going through the motions of day to day life because I get caught up in the ebb and flow of the city

Always on the go, never stopping, tuning out the world through my headphones, just being another New Yorker

It feels so surreal some days

And when I’m finally home, sitting on the couch, playing Left 4 Dead with my dog in my lap like nothing has changed; I almost don’t believe that this is my life

Almost…

But do I really want to talk about this?

Naw, it’s too sappy, too personal.

So… what should I write about?

Playlist:

Up All Night by Alex Clare

After hearing his song Too Close 100 times on the Internet Explorer commercials, I decided to look him up and ended up falling in love with this song. I think parts of the song are relatable and ring true. I like that his music doesn’t have a set sound, he mixes it up so it doesn’t sound like he is making the same song with different lyrics.

Falling by the Civil Wars

Their sound is very haunting and I can’t get enough of it. The lyrics to the song alone resonate with me, and combined with the simplicity of the composition (very stripped and acoustic), I think it’s a beautiful marriage. The verse: “Why am I feeling so guilty?  Why am I holding my breath? Worry ’bout everyone but me, I just keep losing myself” hits home because it describes how I used to feel about certain situations with my friends from home.

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

It’s kind of old and cheesy, but I like it because the entire first verse reminds me of the reasons why I left small-town Pennsylvania to live in New York City.  No explanation needed because it’s all in the song.

Death by White Lies

It’s simply a good song. The title can be misleading, but it’s fitting because the singer expresses his fear of losing what he has. That in turn is making him fearful and is keeping him from taking any action to prevent his imminent loss. I think everyone has one of those moments where you’re afraid of what might happen that you choke and end up missing an opportunity to do something.

L’Amour by Bingo Players

Dance/house music is awesome in my book and this song makes me want to get up and do the robot and then breakdance. It doesn’t really have any lyrics, but it gets me on my feet and has a great beat.

Home by Phillip Phillips

It’s the kind of song that I listen to when I’m travelling (specifically: taking the bus from PABT to home) because it has a sense of nostalgia, but hope. Like no matter where you are or no matter what hardship you’re going through, there is a support system wherever you go and you’re not alone.

Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

Anything by Imagine Dragons (and the Civil Wars) is pretty much gold.

99 Problems by Hugo

It’s a completely new take on the Jay-Z song. By far one of the best cover songs I have heard. Hugo doesn’t stick to the racially charged lyrics Jay-Z drops, but instead does his variation which makes it fairly original despite a few similar lyrics and a similar beat.

Valerie by Amy Winehouse

Her soulful voice makes the song as good as it is. She had so much passion in her lyrics and her voice matched the music perfectly no matter what song. Valerie isn’t necessarily her deepest song (especially compared to the ones about her addictions), but it is a nice, soulful

Cough Syrup by Young the Giant

Despite the fact that it’s about abusing cough syrup (by some people’s interpretation), it’s a good song.

The Pieces Don’t Fit Anymore by James Morrison

It’s simply about wanting what you can’t have and how, no matter how hard you try to make it work, things just fall apart. It’s a very touching song that goes perfectly with his raspy voice. In a way it pulls at the heart strings because he sings about how he tried to give the relationship his all, but at the end of the day, “the pieces don’t fit anymore”. That’s related able for any kind of situation; giving something your all and it just falls apart.