Monthly Archives: March 2012

Monologue. Monologue? I have nothing to say now. Anyway, let’s say something about this semester. I like Baruch college, whatever an environment, professor or a courses. Math is my favorite, and Math prof Sze is my favorite professor too. She is so sweet and makes a lesson simple and easy to study. She doesn’t ask to buy a textbook, so I saved lot money on the textbook. A lot $$$$$. Psychology is a large class, with around 500 students, two assistant, and one professor. Prof Albright is funny guy. He always made us laughing by his way of teaching. Some people says psychology is hard to study, but our class exam average was higher than 80. Music course drives me crazy. Prof Stock is great professor, but I am not good at music at all. As the music played on the exam, I only heard “alleluia”. I think I would fail the exam this time. Last course was a FRO course. Small class just for fun with the sweet Joanna.

It’s raining and gloomy out. Perfect day to bum around.

Don’t watch chick flicks. They’re too mushygushy and afterwards all you’ll want is some love and affection and you’ll end up wondering where all the cute guys in real life are.

If I were to become a bum, I’d make sure I live in a nice cardboard box. I would invite all of you to come over for tea.

Seriously.

I don’t know. My thoughts are usually gibberish in some way or another. Now to put them into words….I have to un-empty my mind…

ಠ_ಠ

:blank:

You know what? I hate school. I sound like some kind of whining elementary school kid, but I think I actually liked school back then. These days there is just too much unnecessary competition and force-feeding of information that I am otherwise not interested in. What the hell are credits anyway? Invisible…TALLIES, for some random asshole to judge me on. And you know what irks me the most? I care about these subjective little things. I mean, if I had it my own way I’d eat cake all day while wasting my life on facebook and criticizing bad porn while shrieking about some pretty guy a decade older than me, and watch dramas where I feel like a developing pedophile for thinking, “my gosh that kid is so damn cute, he’s going to grow up beautifully” BUT WAIT, I’m not looking at them through sexual lenses!

I’m just an artist who likes ogling pretty things. Well I say artist, but all I do is doodle DON’T JUDGE ME =_=

Let me recount my dreams. I wanted to be a singer. Then an illustrator. Then an actress. Then a dancer.

I can do none of these things. Illustrator’s probably the one with the biggest possibility of happening but these days, for some reason everyone can draw. Whatever happened to the times when people would cheer from happiness simply from successfully drawing pseudo-penises using geometric shapes?

I thought I’d start working hard once college came around and I had time to consider specific subjects more seriously but.

I blame this on my senior year. I decided to come out of the closet. Not the sexual orientation closet, the social closet. I wonder when the meaning for “closet” became so entrenched in homosexuality. Anyway, I started saying narcissistic things for the fun of it, because somehow narcissistic behavior is hilarious rather than disturbing and rendering one fit for psychological treatment, but somehow, somewhere along the way I became a real narcissist.

You reap what you sow, right?

I mean, I always did kind of like debating inner turmoils in front of the mirror, but I don’t believe I ever felt the need to stare at my own reflection for 15 minutes straight, and whenever I had the chance.

But it’s not my fault, I’m beautiful. I should stop eating cream puffs and ramen so often, but

You know what I find interesting? It seems that the number 4:44 is quite attached to my existence. Why is it that almost every time I check the time digitally, it’s 4:44, am or pm? Heyyy, draft saved at 9:44:40 pm. I wonder what numbers everyone else is associated with? It’s interesting, the triple digits. Like when I bought groceries and the total came out to $6.66 and the cashier, who was presumably of some Christian faith, looked at me uncomfortably. (థ ౪ థ) Relax, missus, the devil doesn’t eat avocados. But I wouldn’t know.

I. QUIT MY JOB! Which means I’m now free and poor. Broke. No more cream puffs. Actually I think pastries are just one of those things one should never refrain from for the sake of savings. But who am I kidding, that was me in junior high. I was remarkably more fit at the time too, I should note. God, I should stop thinking about food every other minute of my life. It’s not healthy to be thinking about lunch during class and dinner during the next class. I can’t quite figure out if I’m more hedonist or nihilist. But I’m definitely a sadist. In mental affairs anyway. I love watching people squirm. Oops, this part of my thought process should probably not be open to the public eye, but I’m too lazy to hit the damn backspace button. They knew all about this when they designed the keyboard, yeah? Bastards knew that pinkies are annoying and tiring to operate. Though to be fair, the backspace button requires moving the whole hand and is practically impossible for me to reach by simply extending my pinky so I guess there’s no longer an excuse for my laziness.

I should stop conversing with myself and go mindlessly surf the internet.

Also, this piece of shit website needs to understand the implications of daylight saving. It’s 11pm.

Edit: Wait oops I forgot to think about this college semester and all that. Hey, it’s 11:11pm! That aside, I just wanted to say that while I was reading that piece by Gandhi for anthropology class, I thought “man, this guy’s a narcissistic…pretentious…”

Maybe Bellamy is right in saying that this is simply reflective of our views as a generation. But the writing just circled authoritatively as he defended an argument that didn’t seem so convincing on paper to himself, which is why there were so many defenses in every paragraph. It was like listening to someone convince himself that his view is correct while preaching to everyone else. Am I too cynical? Was the problem simply his style of writing?

No doubt classes can be interesting, but as you can see from the rest of the monologue, it’s hard to concentrate when I have conversations with myself in this never ending loop. Complete focus on someone other than myself for more than 30 minutes is really hard to handle.

Which is to say, I don’t know how I’ll handle 5 classes at once in the next semester.

Life is a mystery, when you think you know it all and you know you can handle all it goes BAM and gives you an extremely big surprise. Life changes all of a sudden, one moment its something else the other everything is different, lots of surprises sometimes good and sometimes bad. The only way to get the best from these surprises I believe is to always be optimistic, just remember that every pebble every grain of sand has light in it, all you have to do is look, and in the darkest moments this is the light that guides one to success.

You can also get inspired by Gandhi, who I don’t know much about but studied a little about in anthropology. Gandhi’s idea of love and peace is an idea to be considered by all of us, all human beings I guess. I was travelling in the subway one day and I saw a bunch of performers, after their performance when they were leaving the train, one of them said out loud, “If you’re not giving money to a performer he/she doesn’t care just smile and give them a thumbs up and a big smile and just spread the love”. Spread The Love, the idea that can create an extremely peaceful world, create the end of wars and make the world heaven. Love is a kind of light that guides one to the best course in all surprises of life.

Love is also one of the greatest mysteries of life, no one can truly explain what it is but whatever feeling it is, it can create a different world, a tolerant world. A world where differences are accepted, something different or someone different is not excluded or treated differently but all are treated as one. We are one in all ways, we all have the same hearts, the same blood running through our veins. one who is a little different does not have a different blood and hence we are all same, all equal, then why not love everyone and care equally for everyone.

Yeah my blog might sound extremely boring to you and a waste of time too, not your fault it’s all a result of industrialization ( from anthropology again). But this whole blog is the truth, life is a mystery, love its biggest mystery. Let us all just spread the love and try our best to make this world a better place.

Yes, Xavier , I stole your idea of  “BEAR”  ’cause I am too awesome to think my own.

But, I did change my avatar ’cause the missing teeth of Baruch bear annoy me so much ( I am not kidding ). Well, now I got a yellow Asian bear as my profile picture. *SMILEEEE*

I know. Now this just gets so weird. I like powerpuff girls so I googled bear with powerpuff girls and this pedo came out. Anyway, I hope you like this!

So my first semester.

I was a weird little Asian bear trying to fit in diverse bear community. I tried out different bear organizations. I thought I wanted to be a sorority bear. So I pledged for this one hot mama bear sorority – which I failed completely ( mind you, not because I ain’t hot enough to be a greek bear , but because I couldn’t find time and well, I admit , I am not a good follower). But, I found this sister bear in class with whom I founded the newest and the hottest bear sorority – her sister name is Tomato. I LOVE YOU , BIG! You might stand a chance to rush for our sorority if you are awesome enough.

This mini bear is getting used to this so-called independent Ahmerhican Life. I am balancing my social life and academic life and it just gets better with time.

I know  people at school and got As in my courses. What more should Carol Bear ask for? My worries for college have been gone. I am enjoying my days more and more. But, I hope people won’t start unfriending me ’cause I am starting to show my real crazy side. I am not sure if I like being a bear but Baruch is not a bad school , but admit it, it’s one of the least exciting schools. Mostly, Tomato is the only bear I chill with after school.

I am leading a hectic life these days because I was cramming for my exams ( the beauty of procrastination) , I spend too much time on social networking sites, I am moving out very soon and many other “stuffs” I don’t feel like mentioning here.

I sometimes have no life that I stalk the racist Baruch memes for hours ( Dude, you should be honored). You inspire me to insert all the crazy memes in my blog. Now I’m addicted to meme generator.

Springbreak. Where are you, babe? I am tired of waiting for you to come around. I need more parties and less homework. I also want this semester to end. I am counting the days towards summer. My friends from LA will be visiting me. Exciting!!!. I will also be visiting people in Texas & Philly. It’s good to have something to look forward to.

Okay, it’s tYme to gEt thE PartAAyyyy StaRtedddd! I LUB EBeRYWAN. My ClAsSmAteS aRe ToO AwEsOmE.. ThAnKs BEaRs on CocAinE. YoU GuYs DeSerVe SoMe bEarlY hUgs <3

Weeekendsssss!!!!!!

I need water.

Young Cubba-lubba, By Xavier Garcia

I walked into this semester a black bear.  A very, light-skinned, black bear.

As a  young cub, left by his momma bear to fight for his life against other cubs, I walked into Bearuch University with the goal of not dying to the hands of a baller bear.

The other cubs were pretty hardcore, and they came from all over the world to fight as well.

Going in feeling like a wuss, I shunned everyone around me so that they didn’t know how unequipped I was to fight other cubs.

I began to work hard so that I could slap other cubs in the face with my epicness.  My bear teachers didn’t really understand where I was coming from, and thought that maybe I was just a weird cub.

Then they saw my potential as a pro-status cub, and other cubs began to befriend me because I was owning other cubs in the arena.

I enjoyed my status as the well-liked cub, but I knew my status would be lost as soon as I began to show my realness.   So I withheld my true insanity and acted as calm as an energetic young cub could.

Time began to pass faster and faster.  I began losing control of my ability to stabilize my wild cub thoughts.  During one of the lessons from a bear teacher, my broken cub brain started to break-down.  It was like mini-nuclear bombs were going off in my hairy head.  I thought I was going to die from being dumb.

But an angel arrived from the heavens.  One of the chillest cubs I’ve ever met ended up in my classes.  He was a boss, because he understood my insanity and could match my awkwardness with his own crazy bear activities.

Even though he was a cub from a far land that I didn’t know about, he was exactly like me in so many ways.  I tried not to be weird around him.  We just ended up being hilarious around each other, while the other cubs just looked and didn’t get it.

Unfortunately, my fun would only last until my teachers began to give me less and less accolades; as the steam from my initial awesomeness in classes cooled off more and more.

But a cub with a bro-cub just feels more and more powerful.  And as a cub with a dream, I hope to brawl my way to the top, while helping other cubs who felt lost like I did to be the best they can.  This semester I’ve learned that being a young cub doesn’t really matter.  What matters is how tough you can be, both mentally and physically, and how winning only takes teamwork and sexy effort; like a bear.

Mahemud Achmadinajad,  Bernie Madoff, Mike the situation Sorrentino. These people all have something in common, their terrible people. These 3 are soulless individuals who have ruined many alife and if they died the world would probably be a better place to live. While these people are absolutely horrible at least their known, people know that their disgusting human beings. The problem with this person is she absolutely terrible but no one knows of her. Their isn’t some crazy guy making a movie about her, she isn’t being featured on the news, she doesn’t have her own reality show NONE OF THAT! This injustice cannot go on any longer. ******* ****s must be STOPPED! She’s ruined more lives than the New Orleans Saints defense. She shrink gpas like steroids shrink a guys…..well yea. Shes killed more brain cells than weed. And shes so stuck up Jesus Christ! Her teaching a macaulays honors class is more outplace than a Jew a Muslim and a black guy at a kkk meeting. And she thinks shes a comedian oh just give me your ss number HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You’re so funny and clever and no that’s not the dumbest joke I may have ever heard! Id rather hand lorraina bobbit a spiked bat and see what happens than sit through another one of her bullshit classes. Im sure plenty of people in here are good in the subject and im all sure those same people have gotten nothing but cs in her class why is that because its her way or the highway. Well guess what ill sit in the middle of that highway at 2 in the afternoon ill get more out of it.