Struggles
Suspense. Apprehension. Anxiety.
Leaving Maryland filled my head with a lot of doubt, but a lot of excitement at the same time. I was finally living my dream of moving to New York City, but I was alone. I was worried about friends, money, school, volleyball and transportation. With that in mind, I packed my Jeep with practically everything I owned and set out for this five-hour trip with my family. Arriving at the dorms was quite hectic to say the least – unpacking, buying, meeting, greeting, etc. I always wondered what college would be like… sex, drugs, alcohol, maybe school, I don’t know. But then there was volleyball. How was I going to balance it all? I was freaking out.
Doubt. Failure. Confusion.
Coming into school, I thought I was invincible. I barley did any work in school, gave my all at volleyball, and managed to go out at least 4 times a week. I thought it was awesome – getting into bars, barley doing work, AND helping the team with a start of an awesome record? What could be better? Yet, when I received some of my grades back, I proved myself wrong. Unfortunately at the same time, I was going through a moment of doubt in volleyball also. I began second-guessing what I was doing and why I was doing it. And to top it all off, I really missed my family.
Optimistic. Confident. Elated.
Finally… somehow I was adjusting to things. My grades are ok, not great… But better than before and my team just won the CUNY championships, so we are off to the NCAA’s in Salisbury this week. I’m still in the phase of trying to not go out as much, but I’m in college…whatever. I’m looking forward to just starting fresh in the Spring, getting a bartending job, and finally having some free time to myself. At this point in my life…my biggest accomplishment would be passing Philosophy.
