Oct 21

I have this nutty idea. It’s very nuts. I think I’m nuts! No! The idea itself is nuts, not me. There are definitely lots of nuts involved. Hmm a world full of nuts. Can you see it? Only nut trees. Nut farms. Nut houses. Nuts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Big nuts. Small nuts. Nuts of all sizes, everywhere! Hmm, a world ran by squirrels. They want all our nut supplies. They want to force us to pick up all their nuts. Oh, the idea seems so ludicrous, but have you ever looked a squirrel in the eye? They say you shouldn’t, but why? I’ll tell ya why! Squirrels are evil. Don’t look them in the eye! Don’t do it! They have mind control powers. What if they put some sort of mind control serum into nuts? Oh, is this nuts? I saw a squirrel the other day. It totally freaked me out. I mean, it was right there! Just like 2 feet away. Usually, they don’t get so close. They used to run away as soon as you were like 20 feet away. Hmm, how come all of a sudden squirrels don’t run away when you’re near them? They lost the fear of humans. Now they want us to fear them. It’s working! I know they’re planning something. Something BIG. Just think about Sandy from SpongeBob. You think she’s a just a squirrel from Texas. And what the heck, a squirrel under water? Nothing makes sense anymore. Anyways, she’s a mad scientist trying to come up with something so she can take over Bikini Bottom. That’s exactly how all squirrels are. Speaking of some freaking evil mad scientists, do you remember Mojojojo from Powerpuff Girls? That monkey was bananas. He had every plan in the book to take over the world. He had a huge brain. He was a very smart monkey, just didn’t know how to plan his schemes. Not squirrels. Squirrels have a brain and they know how to use it. They’re just letting us have our fun before they initiate a total takeover. Letting us enjoy our last few days of freedom. They just pretend to be cute little fury animals. Till one day, BAM! Total world domination. Forget al-Qaida! Forget Kony. They ain’t got nothin’ on squirrels. They’re gonna run the world some day! I know it. Guys, I’m not nuts! I swear! This is totally possible. Just picture it. It’s not too nuts once you think about it. I mean… I don’t know. Squirrels are just so sneaky and secretive. They’re like ninjas. We can try to prevent squirrel world domination. Just don’t look them in the eye, please! And maybe, just maybe, we might not get taken over by squirrels. Man, forget the dog! Beware of squirrels. And nuts.

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