Freshman Seminar Spring 2011: F6A

The Rubin Museum, i can now say was a fascinating trip. The Buddha ice sculpture was captivating from the onset, and was just about the only thing i found interesting till after i toured the whole museum. i really didn’t understand, any of it, the paintings were very colorful, engaged with so much activities, and really seemed too cultural and religious for me to identify with. i spent so much time at each painting, trying to understand just exactly what it was trying to express. i drew blank on each picture, untill i saw the display where they explained several stances and gestures. after looking over the explanations, i ran back to where i had seen many complex sculptures and began trying to interpret the whole setup. things kind of started to make sense – the trantic deities, Bodhisattvas, Buddhas, all of them. Everything when i got to the fourth floor, the first thing that left an impression on me was a quote sayin “form is emptiness and emptiness is form” and it said something else further. i couldn’t disagree more, but it sounded so philosophical and tranquil that i just allowed it to sit around in my head. i started looking at the paintings and eventually came across one that was very blurry. i was caught in a mirage just staring at it. i started stepping back and then it gradually started coming to focus. “form is emptiness” i still don’t know. Then i found this book which was like a mini explanation of all the various works that were on the floor. i started reading and i then i got the whole gist of the “emptiness in form.” the artist of the blurry painting explained how everything solid and tangible that we see will eventually fizzle away and cease from existing thereby creating an emptiness. to prove it, he subjected a tadpole or some creature of the sort to a steady capture on film. after many months, the camera was only capturing a scene in which the tadpole was not present. the tadpole had ceased from existing, it had become emptiness, its very composition is no where to be seen, but amist that emptiness, you can find its form. “form is emptiness, emptiness is form, all is emptiness.”

The museum had many unique and interesting features. One feature that I noticed the most is the elaborate and lively café located at the ground floor. To get to the floors of interesting art work we all passed the elaborate café with its ground of people all in conversation was living art all on its own. One of my favorite pieces of work was on the fourth floor. It was a picture of an Indian town. It was a very dark and simple picture yet it took me a few minutes to figure out what exactly it was. With all the vivid colors I was expecting it to be New York City, or Chicago or Los Angeles but it wasn’t. Of course right on the next wall was a picture of the always beautiful Time Square, but after such concentration on the Indian street Time Square didn’t have much of an affect on me. I think this picture can bring and jaded New Yorker to their senses. The way this museum was set up make me feel as if I wasn’t in a museum but more like I was part of the art, part of the action. The spiral stair case, and spacious floors all made this museum experience so interesting.

All of the reflective writing that i’ve don’t throughout the semester was able to assist my experience at the museum because it enabled me to view things in a more openly, detailed way because if you glance at something,you may think something but when you take another look, you may discover something more. This had actually occurred once my peers and i shared our monologues aloud because you would think you know what someone is thinking, but little did you know that they had something completely different in mind.

Along my journey of identity exploration, my progress has been the same because i know who I am; I’m not confused about anything or any decision of mine. Therefore I have not discovered any new qualities about myself.

From within the museum, I have chosen the Sanford Biggers because at first glance, it made me stop and glare at its beauty. Little had I known about its true significance though. This piece stands for all of the deaths that have occurred in the past, and when you look closer, the petals are made up of people, but not ordinary people. To be exact, African American slaves. So although this piece had caught my attention in the beginning due to its visual beauty, it still is able to captivate my attention with the mere facts of the past, despite the fact that it wasn’t so much of a great past. Even when you look closely to the African Americas, you can almost feel their fear and angst because they look like sad little people all collided together within the petals of the ship they were incarcerated.

Thoughts to Consider for Reflective Writing

Great art and architecture can trigger new and exciting emotions and ideas. While exploring the museum, allow your senses to lead you on a journey of discovery through the art of multiple world cultures and the museum’s peaceful environment. As you immerse yourself in the ambiance of the museum, think about the reflective writing that you’ve been engaged in throughout the semester.  How can these self-discovery exercises assist you in reflecting upon your experience at the museum?  How have you been progressing along on your journey of identity exploration? What new qualities have you been discovering about yourself? Here are some fresh perspectives that will help you strengthen the focus of your reflective writing piece:

• Look up at the roof in the giant spiral staircase, smell the intoxicating aromas from the café, challenge yourself with staring at a work of art for 30 seconds, etc.
  • How does this space make you feel?
  • Does it trigger any new ideas or thoughts?
  • Is this a space where you feel comfortable and belong, or do you feel uncomfortable and stressed out?
• What did you learn about yourself from being at the museum?

The museum has wonderful resources at www.rmanyc.org, a page on iTunes U. ‘Beyond Campus,’ and guides who are on the gallery floors to help you explore and answer questions.

 A monolog.. a monolog… i have to write a monolog.. where should i start? what can i say? Let’s try talking a little about myself. i’m a girl or a young woman that tries to do her best in this life. Life is not easy, so i can’t always get what I want but i never give up. What i like most about myself is that i always think of my loved ones first. They don’t have
to do much to impress me, i appreciate the small things that life gives me every day. What i really dislike about myself is that I don’t always think before talking and sometimes people get hurt.I don’t know why people sometimes talk without thinking, especially when they are fighting or angry.What can i say? that’s me.

Around 3 years ago i found love knocking at my door.I didn’t expect to find the love of my life at my 22 years.We really conected, we knew that we were made for each other. A few month later we got married and after some months, when our first son was born, i realized that they were the most important people in my life. My role in life has changed since, i became a mother, a wife and my family became my number one priority. What i am afraid of? mmm.. that’s a good question. I think that,like most people, i’m afraid of losing someone i love. We can’t predict life. i wish we could know when
things will happen so we can prepared ourself. But that’s not a nice thing to talk about. I’m also afraid of spiders, rats, mices, snakes, etc, etc, etc… i can go on for ever and ever. Unfortunately for me i live in NYC, home of rats. Once i was in my break at work and a co-worker asked me if i like spiders, and i told him that a was aracnofobic. He told me that a spider was under my chair and I froze, i literally couldn’t move. I started to cry until someone killed the spider.Everyone was laughing at me… it was really embarrasing. What else?College.. i have to talk about college..it’s doing
well, i’m only taking a class so is not stressing at all. On monday i have my first exam and hopefully the results will tell me if i’m doing as well as i thought, or not. What time is it? Sorry,time to go, baby’s crying. Nap time is over… see you.

Currently, there is nothing on my mind right now because nothing in particular is hovering within my head. In life, I have a personal theme song; it’s by The Pixies and it’s called “Where Is My Mind.” This is my theme song not only because it has a personal meaning to it, but because I think it reflects everyone at one point in their life. It’s basically such a mellow song that makes you think deeper into your thoughts. It makes you wonder about life and everything that is going on in ones’ current situation.

What I like about myself. I don’t know…probably the way I am, since I am a particularly good person. I also like the fact that I get things done. For example, I always do what I have to do because it’s the only way to move forward. So now there are also a few things I like least about myself. Like sometimes I don’t care about things and once I’ve decided that I don’t care, that’s pretty much it for anything. However, this mostly happens whenever I go off track, which seems to be another downfall from me; I get bored easily. Another thing I don’t like about myself is that I have a bad temper. It takes a lot to get me ticked off, but when I’m actually mad, I get pretty bad. The way I identify myself is actually pretty simple. I think it’s the way everyone else does so too. What I am referring to, is appearance because that creates an image/identity for everyone. Now the role that I play in my life is that of a sister, an aunt, and a loyal friend. However, in a recent event, I used to be a girlfriend too, but I broke that off because I noticed I was heading to the wrong path. No matter how hard one tries, you can’t always save everyone; no matter how much you care for them. Having said that, there are certain people that are very important to me; several of them actually. Some of which come before others but nonetheless, I love them all. Most of them are friends and family of course; but the latter is a given.

Deep down, what I am afraid of…I actually don’t really know. Actually, scratch that because there is one thing that I am afraid of: losing my best friend. Fortunately, I’m not talking about anytime soon, because our relationship right now continues to stay strong. I can honestly say we complete each other because we are like one. She is what makes me happy whenever I am sad and even happier when I’m already happy. Whenever we are together, we create great memories, all of which will last for a lifetime. A million years could pass by and our special bond would still be there. Thankfully, I am making plans with my best friend tomorrow because it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other. Personally, this pretty much sucks because I’m so used to seeing her everyday. Now that we work and go to different colleges, we are always on the move because, as we all know it, life does not wait for anyone. I won’t lie; the sudden separation has been hard on me but I’ve been able to manage things and balance everything out pretty good so far. I think that I just have to focus on school for the time being, while things calm down. I just need to see my best friend; which is why I’m excited for tomorrow. It will be like rejuvenating something inside me because the thing that is very important to me is friendship. I feel this way because in the long run, that is what gets you through life. Friendship blossoms from many other things, like love and so it’s very inspiring thus lasting throughout a lifetime. I just value friendship a lot because I think that it’s a beautiful thing to share and possess between one another. It is the memories and love that make it sacrosanct and last forever.

So far, school is going well because I like all of my classes and teachers. I’m simply irritated a bit though, because I had to change my availability at work and that was pretty chaotic. They made it such a hassle for me when it could have honestly been so much easier. I had to go and switch all of the days I worked for the following two weeks because of their incompetence. However, my relationship to school is great so far. Having said that reminds me of a time when I felt embarrassed in school. This was back in high school where it is required to do a portfolio for each class, every semester based upon a topic instructed by the principal. So this was my first year at The Academy Of Finance And Enterprise because I was a transfer student from Long Island City High School. I knew the requirements and whatnot, but I honestly did not expect such high standards from that school and I think it was because I was so used to the nearly non existent standards in LIC. As a result, I handed in a portfolio that included everything that was needed, but nothing more, while everyone else’s portfolio exceeded the expectations and requirements. Eventually though, I got the hang of the atmosphere and quickly adjusted to it because I learned that I enjoy learning. This is something I’m experiencing at Baruch too because I have fun here and it also has a great atmosphere that is just so friendly and easy to get used to. As a result, it makes it easier for me to learn and go about with my duties. Personally, I have actually missed school but that may be because I took the semester off. Even so, I enjoy learning because it’s a great feeling, despite how others may feel. On the other hand, my biggest challenge in school at the moment is getting all my work done. Nevertheless, I try my best to get everything done because I know it will severely affect my grade despite any excuses.

My eyes…how I love my beautiful, deceiving, manipulating and charming eyes… the way I can tell a person off with my eyes to the way I can charm with my eyes has to seriously hilarious. I mean, I like a lot about myself but my eyes…. Don’t play no games. I guess it would be better if I had more confidence… that has got to’ be what I absolutely hate the most about myself….like c’mon…every single time someone tries to throw a compliment at me, I’m like a little turtle hiding in its shell….how flipping embarrassing. Every time I think about myself I have like this huge confidence but in public….chhp…so frustrating. I guess that makes me kind of honest. I mean… when I think about who I really am, I kind of identify myself as an honest (and kind of rude) person. I tell it like it is with no hesitation and I’m proud of it. Like seriously, why act like I’m someone I’m not or act like I have interest in something I don’t… ill pass. Especially with my little sister following my every move…ill b damned if she turn into one of the fake females ‘ve ran into…humph. I have an important role in life and that is being the role model for my sister. Antonette Faith Wiley, my little diva with the same beautiful, deceiving, manipulating eyes. My baby sis is the most important person in my life. I have to make sure she grows up to be a beautiful educated woman…mommy is just always busy and I know damn well my dad aint gonna make it happen. I got to make sure my mom is proud of both her and i…I guess that’s what I’m afraid of the most…..disappointing mommy. Mommy did so much for me and to make her disappointed because she thinks I don’t got my head on my shoulders and im not making the right decisions…styll freaks me out. When I see her happy, I’m happy. Well, when I see anyone happy I’m happy. Nothing makes me happier than to brighten someone else’s day. I kind of feel like I made a difference in someone else’s life…and that’s definitely something that puts a smile on my face. At least that’s a time I can smile… when im not smiling, I’m in school…BANG! School is my life. Work….work….work. every little bit of free time I have is dedicated to all of this school work. I guess I like school because its helping me to become successful in life but seriously…this needs to end…soon. Thinking about school just makes me hungry. Doing homework….i got to eat some thin’. It’s sad how many excuses I’ve been coming up with to not do my homework and I definitely need to stop acting like a chef when it’s time to do homework when I know damn well I don’t cook any other time. I should get a theme song to get me going with all this homework because I definitely don’t have one. That’s definitely my biggest challenge with school right now…. Managing my time with this homework. If it wasn’t for this rent due the 1st of every month id definitely quit this job. I’m sick of having no life between work …school…and homework every day…and I just started school….BANG! I do like the experience though. I’m loving going to class…since I’ve started school my mind just feels so…. Open. College is definitely a good experience right now…. Guess I’ll have to stick with having no life for the next 4 years…

A. I see myself as a down to earth person more than what i thought before i wrote my monologue.
B. Freshman seminar has made me more aware about myself and my personal feelings and habits. I grew stronger in free writing and enjoy it.

My motto is hmm I don’t really know. Recently I’ve had this “motto” stuck in my head. it’s a line from a song that Drake is in and goes “Its wifey over B*****s but moneys over her cause moneys under nothing my life is such a blur, its not the way it has to be its just what I prefer. Not exactly sure what that’s says about me but I like it.
And right now I’m falling more and more in love with my job every day and its really starting to scare me. Sometimes I feel like an old broad and not a college student. But..
I actually really like myself. Its true I do, I can see my ego just as clearly as some other people do. Its not that I don’t know it, oh I do, I just don’t see anything wrong with it. Come on all your life they tell you to be confident and to keep your head up and that’s exactly what I do. I like me and I like what I do and sometimes I don’t like what I do or chose to do but, oh well I did it so I guess ill figure out what to do about it. But I’m not all about me … I help people to !
I helped a young boy, when I was in high school, get back on track with family school and life in general and only a few months later I get stopped in the hall by him and he showed off his report card with all perfect grades and the two most rewarding words in the world .. Thank you.

My self portrait is probably very strange. I see myself as poet with a dictators tendencies. I’m not exactly sure what kind of picture that paints but that’s what I see myself as. I have a bit of a superiority complex as well as a generous character. To most this seems strange but to me its very simple, its me.

Like Taylor Swift would say it: And This Is My Monologue! La-La-La

I like my outgoing personality; it allows me to get to know all kinds of wonderful people.

I don’t like when I am running around trying to catch the time!

I identify myself every time I hear from my peers how difficult it is to combine a full time job and school, I could not agree more. However, we all agree on the fact that it is what we want and that is why we do it.

I am a daughter, a big sister, a wife, a bookkeeper, a dog lover and a friendly freshman! Je je =)

The people I love are important to me, my husband, my mom, my sisters, my brother, my relatives, my friends, and my doggy. They are all important to me because I would not be where I am if it wasn’t for their unconditional love and support.

At this point in my life, I am afraid of nothing. The only immediate thing I can think of, is when random times I don’t mean to, but I have let someone down, or I have let myself down.

I am happy when you are happy, I am happy when I hear you laugh, I am happy during the time I spend with my husband and family, I am happy when I am at school. Lastly I am happy when my baggle guy makes my bagels every morning just the way I like them, jejejeje =)

God is important to me, my Husband-Family, friends & School are all very important to me. They represent what I truly care the most.

School is going great, it can be exhausting at times, but I am enjoying every bite of this great experience. To me is a blessing to have this opportunity to come to school, simple as that.

I believe I felt embarrassed one time when a classmate asked me something 3 times,  and I responded, whatever was in my mind at the time, without really knowing what the question was, jejeejje =)

I feel empowered every time new knowledge becomes part me.

I’ve been listening to this song that I really like by Bruno Mars, “You are amazing, just the way you are” Love the lyrics of that song! I like it a lot, because that is exactly how I feel about every person that I love.

School is great; my biggest challenge is balancing the different aspects of my life, with school.

What do I enjoy about college? I enjoy coming to college, making friends, learning new things, I simply enjoy the challenge that this experience represents, because it makes me push my own envelope.

The End (Thank you, Thank you !) jejeje

Answer these questions as well:
a. how do you see yourself post-monologue?

I see and I feel very happy. Very content with the work I’ve accomplished while putting together this monologue because this monologue brought me back some moments of laughter. It was great. Great experience.
b. how have you developed in freshmen seminar?

I am learning new things. Sharing new experiencies and enjoying every moment I spend with my great classmates.
c. UPLOAD a self portrait of yourself [photograph/cartoon/image/drawing] depicting how you see yourself.

I already uploaded the pic. That’s me and my beloved Coco.(woof, woof) ejejeje

I like my eyes best. In our Myanmar’s culture, if the women’s eyes are beautiful, people used to say the girl has doe’s eyes. Once, one of my admirers said I have doe’s eyes. From that time onwards, whenever I look at the mirror, I feel pleased with my looks. Am I vain?

What I like least is my body structure. I believe, I am chubby. I want to get slim. But, I can’t quit junk foods. Hehehe 😀

I think I’m a warm caring, down to earth person with the pleasant personality.

Although I am not the youngest child in my family, I’m pampered the most.

My mother is the most important person in my life because she’s the one who understands me the most.

I am afraid of cats. I don’t know why. The cats’ eyes scare me. Especially, black cats. In the mummy’s movie, on one scene,a cat scares the mummy, so I thought I was in some ways related to the mummy.

Out of seven days a week, Fridays are the day that I am happiest in anticipation of two full days of rest and pleasure to do whatever I wish. Then again, the happiest moment are the times I visit “ToysRUs” store. Looking and buying cute stuffed dolls.

Family, friends are important to me.

Every Thursdays going to school is hard for me. I work five days a week and on Thursdays, I have two classes and I am very tired after the classes. Then, I have to walk and wait for the subway train and I used to be returning back home.I was hungry all the time.

A moment I felt embarrassed was on the day I fell down into the rain water filled drain. That happened on a raining day about ten years ago. All the boys and girls were looking at me in sympathy. I was cover with water and mud. I felt helpless and confused. I was trying to think how to attend classes in the wet and dirty uniform.

I felt empowered on the day I passed the eighth standard examination with flying colors. I got distinction in three subjects. I was the only one out of four siblings who had done that.

“To live life up to the hilt” is my motto. Life is too short so I am going to live my life to the fullest.

It’s going quite well. Compare to my friends back in Myanmar, I am studying and learning at Baruch College in New York.

The biggest challenge with school right now is to learn, speak and write English better than before.

I love walking from one classroom to other classroom. Back in Myanmar, students have to sit in one classroom throughout the day while the teachers move from one classroom to another.