Monologue

I wake up every Monday and Wednesday morning dreading the fact that I have to leave my bed.  My first class of the day has to be my worst class, sociology.  9:30 sharp, I have to be in class or I’ll be locked lock out.  It’s a horrible way to start the week, yet I drag my lifeless body out of bed.  I can’t shake the fact that sociology is completely useless for me.  I would rather take anthropology, a subject that would intrigue me.  The study of humans seems way interesting in my mind.  Baruch had other plans for me however.  I didn’t even get the option to switch classes.  I hate when I don’t have control over certain things, especially when it involved my future.  I don’t want to get a bad grade in that class.  I can’t get a bad grade, I need a good grade.  Hell, I’ll take a B-.  It’s stressful when you have a professor who’s so uncooperative.  I walk into the class and I’m in a third world country, an over exaggeration of course but nonetheless a real feeling.  She is the absolute ruler and we are her subjects.  Her word is not to be questioned it is law.   She is to be feared and revered.  God forbid I open my mouth to disagree with a statement or to explain something to another student.  I wonder if this is a healthy work environment.  By school standards is this a nurturing environment where I can grow and flourish?  I’m given material to read and memorize however, my professor doesn’t agree with some of it.  And I quote “the textbook is wrong, I don’t agree with it, I rather you use my definition” she said.  At that moment my face goes blank.  Thoughts of just walking out of the class go through my mind.  Why doesn’t she just write her own textbook?  Are you that full of yourself that you could openly disagree with accredited work?  What’s the point of us using it if she just going to say it wrong.  She’s been teaching for what she says 40 years, I think she could have written one.  I’ve had some tough teachers in the past, but this takes the cake.  I’ve heard that this is her last semester or year teaching.  God bless future student who will never know of this woman.  Somehow I’ll get through the class.  A few students have dropped the class; I often wonder it I should follow in their footsteps.  I don’t want to drop it but I think I should.  It poses a risk to my academic success.  I could always take it again, perhaps at another school.  I am thinking about transferring.  It might not be a requirement at a different school, yet I don’t know what to do.  I have till April 12th to make my decision.