I used to be sane…

So, I went to the dentist office the other day for the usual checkup.  The dentist comes out and the guy is north of 100 years old and has HORRIBLE teeth!  I immediately start hyper ventilating, thinking, “this guy is going to be inside my mouth?!?!?”  Not the best wording for that sentence, but I digress.  It’s like when you go to someone for help- in this case the dentist- you want viable proof that they know what they’re talking doing.  You wouldn’t go to the gym, and pick the personal trainer that is telling you to run while he scarfs down a jelly donut.  You wouldn’t want someone who’s only seen “Top Gun” to fly a plane.  So we get into the room and he says “Realistically this should take like 15 minuntes.” He picks up the tiny mirror thingy and his hand is shaking like a meth addict trying to detox, and my first thought is “bloody hell, why me?”  I immediately jump out the chair and say “I’m late for an engagement” and run out the room.  Needless to say I need to find a new dentist.  My family is also insane.  I was hanging out with my sister and   her mom asked me, “How’d you get here?”  And I say “Oh, I took the ‘D’ to the ‘L’.”  My sister devilishly looks at me and asks, “So you took the ‘D’?” Chick thinks she has jokes.  People look at me like “His face is black, but his voice is white.”  One guy even told me, “you can’t possibly talk like that.”  I’ve realized that the older I get the more of a maniac I become.  Case in point:  I noticed how racist America really is through watching tv.  Sprint seems to be the worst of the offenders.  The two black people they had on their commercials are not valid representations of the average black guy.  One guy, is the superstar Kevin Durant.  The other, is this guy who looks like he hasn’t finished evolving yet.  People who don’t know what African Americans look like would look at this commercial and think we’re all 6’10 or the living proof that mankind descendants of monkeys.  Then Tracy Morgan comes on tv and the first thing out of his mouth is “CHICKEN!!!”  Like awesome bro, that was intellectual and not stereotypical at all.  I didn’t even know I was dark-skinned til I came here.  In the UK they used to called me “red-bone.”  I mean I used to be sane, then I was born…