Today, I found out I won’t be achieving my dream.
I failed my math exam. I’d be surprised if I scored any points at all. I haven’t checked my score, but I received the “you’re a dummy” paper, saying that maybe, just maybe, it would be in my best interest to drop the class. Better luck next time, champ. With the failure, my chances of getting an A in the course are pretty much gone. And with the end of my A in math goes the end of my hopes for straight As, and a transfer to Columbia University sometime next year.
My dream was to transfer to Columbia after achieving a 4.0 GPA in my first year at Baruch and acing the SATs. Of course, I’d need even more than just straight As, as transferring to that particular Ivy League school is even more difficult than being directly admitted there, but that was the bare minimum I’d need to be considered. Now, I’ve got no shot.
I’m not an idiot; I don’t even dislike math. I just seem to put every single other thing possible before doing my schoolwork and other necessary things. I watch anime and Family Guy on YouTube, I play games on my PC, and I have a Facebook addiction that’s out of this world. If I would have spent half the time on math that I’d spent doing other things this weekend, I would have scored 200% on that test.
Honestly, it’s not even worth it; my internet addiction, I mean. None of the stuff I do here brings me any closer to my goals. I have 2 Facebook accounts with about 150 “friends” between them that I barely know, and who barely bother to reply to the things I post most times. What’s the point? I keep asking myself that question, but I never get an answer.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking down on Baruch by coveting a Columbia degree. Honestly, I didn’t even think I would have been accepted at Baruch until the day I recieved that letter in the mail. To be honest, I even think the education I’d recieve at Baruch would be comparable (hey, math is math, regardless where you learn it), but the prestige… the prestige of an Ivy League school is what I need. I have a lot of potential that I’ve neglected for a long time, and I’m ready to see how far it will take me. A prestigious degree will help me along the way immeasurably.
So, I have to make a change. I’m not going to get anywhere doing the things I’ve been doing. I’m going to quit the bullshit, cold turkey, right now. No more Facebook, no more anime and video game binges, no more. It’s time to focus.
