Author Archives: dc151751

I like my picture, therefore you all shall see it. I created this picture because left and right, I am assigned another paper. I can’t ever take a moment to relax and take a breath. Baruch is a place where I have not come to terms with. I have become adjusted to waking up Monday through Thursdays to go to class and back home. It takes a lot for me to write papers, I am unsure why, but it’s just a challenge I constantly face. Therefore, with papers that consume my time, I have no time to join clubs or hang out with friends because I have to make sure I keep a steady high grade in each of my classes.

I like my picture, therefore you all shall see it. I created this picture because left and right, I am assigned another paper. I can’t ever take a moment to relax and take a breath. Baruch is a place where I have not come to terms with. I have become adjusted to waking up Monday through Thursdays to go to class and back home. It takes a lot for me to write papers, I am unsure why, but it’s just a challenge I constantly face. Therefore, with papers that consume my time, I have no time to join clubs or hang out with friends because I have to make sure I keep a steady high grade in each of my classes.

I am someone who has no major problems in life. Both my parents are good to me; they are strict but fun and understanding. I did not have to go through the troubles they did growing up. In a way, I wish I did endure such difficulties. I wish I grew up in the projects instead of a somewhat good neighborhood. I wish I had boy trouble in high school and had my heart broken so I could understand most girls my age. I wish that I was social, went to parties drinking alcohol. I wanted to do so many things and excel in them. But no, I have too much common sense and a mind that was raised to think before acting. I got into fights with boys and befriended boys but never really attracted them. I graduated high school never having a boyfriend. I did not really talk unless I was spoken to first. Whenever a boy showed the least bit of interest, I got very weird and my guard was standing, protecting me from them. I have never been superb in anything I have done. I have been dancing since I was five years old and developed a passion for choreographing. Yet I am not great at it, or at least I think so. When I moved to California in my junior year of high school, I felt empowered. Although I did not make friends, people thought I was excellent at dancing and that I was dangerous for coming from Brooklyn, New York. Moving back made me feel a little better—I guess I was still high on being empowered from my California classmates. It made me appreciate myself more and where I came from. It boosted my confidence. I even opened up to boys…and got my first boyfriend after I moved back.

This boy named Alberto had made my mind go crazy since the seventh grade. We attended junior high school together but we never talked; but we were aware of one another. I was not aware that I had a crush on him. I just liked to look at him and something was telling me that I needed to know him. In seventh grade, I saw him in the park I lived by with a friend. His friend recognized me and called me over to hang out with them. Them being boys, they started swinging on these bars (that were not meant to be played on). All of a sudden I see Alberto lose his grip and fall, breaking his wrist. And what did I do? I laughed. I did nothing but laugh, not because I thought it was funny. I am not sure why I laughed, but I did. It was the first time I was really ashamed of myself. I realized what happened and I was mortified. He probably hated me. All hopes of me trying to talk to him had vanished. Thinking back today, I don’t know why I hadn’t said anything to him sooner than last year. A few years later, when Facebook became big, we became Facebook friends. But we did not say one word to each other. I still sort of liked him and felt a pang in my chest when I saw that he was in relationships. Then last year he posted one of those pictures that read “like three of my pictures if you’ve ever had a crush on me.” So what did I do? I liked three of his pictures and BAM! Eight months later, my middle school crush is my boyfriend.

I really appreciated the uniqueness of the different works presented in the Rubin Museums. It was difficult to narrow down the pieces I liked because I actually learned a lot from being there. I have learned the meanings of paintings and models that I have seen all my life but have never understood. What stood out to me the most was the Nepalese Technique of Hollow Metal Casting; the process of creating model Tara. Being an art major early in high school, I like to see how certain things are crafted and constructed. The images created a step-by-step process that catches the eye of artists everywhere. I thought it was very creative and intriguing that they demonstrated each phase of the model and provided a written description of the process. I found the piece to be very inspiring. In addition to this, I thought that the production of the model made it more special considering the symbolism it contains to certain cultures. It makes me want to study more on the cultures where this model is valued heavily.

http://grooveshark.com/#!/user/cdask14/20182337/collection

Each of these songs has its own appeal to me in the matter of college. My moods change immensely depending if I have control of my life in that moment of time. College is still a new concept for me, so my mind is still adjusting to the pressures of the work load. Most songs on the playlist are not happy, motivating pop songs. It was not my choice to go to college, but my mother’s. Unfortunately this is still an open wound, a raw argument that she and I have from time to time, especially that she lives three thousand miles away. For is particular matter, I put “Numb” and “A Place for my Head” by Linkin Park on my playlist. Actually, most of the songs sort of relate to this specific one I’ve pointed out, like “Inside the Fire” by Disturbed, and “Creep” by Radiohead. Creativity and schoolwork never came easy to me growing up, and still does not. I have worked twice as hard as my peers to get where I am now and I still don’t think it is good enough. I feel like I always have my family and professors watching me to see if I break from the pressures of school, which is why I put “Somebody’s Watching Me,” by Rockwell, in the playlist. Because of my past struggles in school, sometimes I feel completely lost in my classes, which is where “Dazed and Confused” by Led Zeppelin comes into the picture. There would be times where I tried to solve a problem from all angles I can possibly find, only to draw a blank on the subject.

Not all experiences I had so far in college are negative. I am determined to turn things around. I forgot most of the opportunities that this fine institution provides. I do not like getting help unless I really need it, but at this point in the semester, I give in. I made tutoring appointments and study more. I started to understand some things said in classes and I would leave my classes happy and accomplished, with just a little headache from the lectures. When these times occur, I smile like a doofus and I feel energetic, I have loud dance music in my mind. Just keep in mind, I love Korean pop music, which is why two songs on my playlist are “Fantastic Baby,” by Big Bang and “I am the Best” by 2NE1. It makes me feel almighty and powerful when I have control.

One thing I absolutely love about college is that I have no Friday classes. When I finish my class at 12:25 on Thursday, I mentally scream “Thursday” by The Weeknd all the way home and straight to my bed and sleep. My boyfriend is really supportive of me and is a big factor of keeping me strong during hard times. If I’m struggling on an assignment over the weekend, he’s there with me helping. My song for him is “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol.