Category Archives: Monologues (Due 3/19)

I have so many things going on in my life right now.  There’s a saying that goes something like this, “If you love something you have to fight for it.”  Throughout my life, I have discovered myself and what I’m good at.  Unfortunately, I feel like I am trying to juggle most of these things all at once.  Right now, I am a full time student and part time worker.  When I first got accepted to Baruch, I was extremely excited.  For a big chunk of my semester off, I felt irresponsible; I felt like all of my friends were actually doing things in life while I was just doing absolutely nothing.  Therefore, when I found out that I was going to attend Baruch for the spring 2013 semester, my hopes changed.  This excitement came after another excitement –when I got hired to Staples.  I started working on October 17, 2012.  I will never forget that date, because that was the day I felt like things were actually going well in my life.  I had no responsibilities starting from the end of High School, which was June 2012, until I finally got hired.  The only question stuck in my head is: how come I no longer feel the same way as I felt when I got accepted to Baruch College and when I got hired to Staples.  Despite the fact that both of these things are wonderful bridges to a successful platform, I feel like this is not the bridge I should travel on.  I had to learn the hard way that school and work is not for me.  I was raised to believe that I NEED to go to school to end up having a good JOB.  However, I do not want to work a 9-5.  My plan is to be fully retired at a young age and have FUN.  And the only things that I feel are obstacles are school and work.  I love making music.  I’ve been making music since I was really young, and that is what I want to do for the rest of life.  Music is fun to me, and that is what I enjoy.  My only goal is to make a living out of what I love doing.  If I continue this path of going to school and working in Staples, I just wonder where I will end up.  However, I also wonder what will happen if I stop going to school and stop working.  Will I have a bad future?  My mom told me that I should make music a plan B and school plan A because there is a slim chance of making it in the music industry.  And that is exactly where I am stuck at.  Should I continue this path of going to school to study Business that will most likely get me a good career, or should I burn these bridges to a good career and start building a new bridge for a good life for ME.  A lot of people take Drake’s line as a joke, but it gets me thinking… “you only live once.”  It’s true; you do only live once, and I believe I should make the best out of it.  However, I am still in this predicament wondering what is best for me.

My mind is a tornado of thoughts. It’s like a teenagers messy room. I want to leave my mother’s house, but am I ready to be on my own? I can take care of myself in all ways except financially. I’ve never had it easy and nothing was handed to me. I had to work hard for everything I have. My mother raised me without my father because he had other plans. Although he makes an effort, I only see him once a year during summer vacations. I miss my Gran-Gran. I was just a baby when she passed, but she was the only one who could stop me from crying when my mother couldn’t. My mom always tells me stories about her so I can always remember what a wonderful woman she was. I don’t know how I feel about school yet. I’m happy that I started after taking a semester off, but it’s taking some time for me to adjust. I think I have too much going on at once. I just feel exhausted mentally and physically. I found out my grandfather has cancer and my own mother couldn’t even tell me. Isn’t that something I should know ? Do they think I can’t handle it because Gran-Gran died of cancer? I’d rather know now so I can try to prepare myself if something happens (God forbid). I wouldn’t want to find out when it’s time to say goodbye and at the same time find out that everyone knew except me. I would be hurt, angry, sad and more all at the same time. At least now I know what to expect. All of my friends have moved and went away to college and I’m still at home. I could have went away but I knew it would be hard on my mom and staying was easier for the both of us. But everything isn’t bad, I’ve taught myself to find the bright side to every situation and make it work for me. At Baruch I’ve made a few friends that make going to school worth it. They make me laugh and make the days go by smoother. Before I started talking to people at Baruch, each day felt like a drag, especially those two hour breaks. on an even better note, MY birthday is next month, May 24th .My mind is all over the place and my yearly trip to Barbados is the only way to get it together for next semester. I can’t wait till July 31st. . .

So, I went to the dentist office the other day for the usual checkup.  The dentist comes out and the guy is north of 100 years old and has HORRIBLE teeth!  I immediately start hyper ventilating, thinking, “this guy is going to be inside my mouth?!?!?”  Not the best wording for that sentence, but I digress.  It’s like when you go to someone for help- in this case the dentist- you want viable proof that they know what they’re talking doing.  You wouldn’t go to the gym, and pick the personal trainer that is telling you to run while he scarfs down a jelly donut.  You wouldn’t want someone who’s only seen “Top Gun” to fly a plane.  So we get into the room and he says “Realistically this should take like 15 minuntes.” He picks up the tiny mirror thingy and his hand is shaking like a meth addict trying to detox, and my first thought is “bloody hell, why me?”  I immediately jump out the chair and say “I’m late for an engagement” and run out the room.  Needless to say I need to find a new dentist.  My family is also insane.  I was hanging out with my sister and   her mom asked me, “How’d you get here?”  And I say “Oh, I took the ‘D’ to the ‘L’.”  My sister devilishly looks at me and asks, “So you took the ‘D’?” Chick thinks she has jokes.  People look at me like “His face is black, but his voice is white.”  One guy even told me, “you can’t possibly talk like that.”  I’ve realized that the older I get the more of a maniac I become.  Case in point:  I noticed how racist America really is through watching tv.  Sprint seems to be the worst of the offenders.  The two black people they had on their commercials are not valid representations of the average black guy.  One guy, is the superstar Kevin Durant.  The other, is this guy who looks like he hasn’t finished evolving yet.  People who don’t know what African Americans look like would look at this commercial and think we’re all 6’10 or the living proof that mankind descendants of monkeys.  Then Tracy Morgan comes on tv and the first thing out of his mouth is “CHICKEN!!!”  Like awesome bro, that was intellectual and not stereotypical at all.  I didn’t even know I was dark-skinned til I came here.  In the UK they used to called me “red-bone.”  I mean I used to be sane, then I was born…

Mahir Khan

I want status! I want glory! I want women and I want money! I want everything this world can offer!!!                        -Greed the Avaricious

Starting a monologue with a quote might be clichéd but if the quote represents you, then I believe it’s a good way to start. The aforementioned quote is from a character from Full Metal Alchemist, my most favorite anime when I was a teenager and I found out that how much the quote describe me and pretty much everyone around me. This quote may often come too honest or too offensive to many people but I know these are what men usually want and anyone who denies these are either a saint or a liar. Now that you know my aim, I’m free to rage about other stuff of my life.

Since I’m writing this monologue for a class which already knows me pretty well, I don’t find any point in discussing my history. By now, everyone knows that I’m a straightforward guy whom one will find smiling, and in a good mood more often than not. The only time when I am seriously depressed is when I get incredibly bad grades in some test or someone drives me nuts which doesn’t happen a lot. The only time I had a hard time with life was a few months ago when I had a problem with my college admission. The one thing more heartbreaking than not being admitted to your favorite college is getting admitted to your favorite college and not being able to go there. This happened to me and life got seriously bad for me for a few weeks.

What else can I say? I always wanted to study medicine but after coming to Baruch, I want to study business. I don’t know what I’ll be doing after graduation but I want to work for the UN or Sony Entertainment. As I promised earlier, I was going to be perfectly honest in this monologue, I’ll say that I don’t like girls who takes duck-faced pictures of them and post it in Facebook. Actually I detest them; don’t know why I’m saying this.

There is an incredible difference between me a year ago and how I am right now. I always thought myself as an introvert, but now I find myself more willing to talk to people I don’t know. Now, I’m more confident in my verbal skills than I was before. English isn’t my first language and I often make mistakes in pronunciations but I don’t let these stop me from saying what I want. I guess this skill and confidence to talk to people came from this FRS class (I am not flattering Rob and Leanna; there is no credit in this subject) and I think that for a person who intends to join a leading business corporation, having strong verbal skill and confidence in himself is absolutely crucial. The time I felt really proud was the time when I opened my very own bank account with my own money and the bank associate called me Mr. Khan. Before then people only called my father Mr. Khan, and being addresses as that made feel really good.

Well, that’s it for me, I wanted to be more free  with my language here but I don’t want to scare away any potential employers who might be reading this. The quote was bad enough.