FROS13 DTA

Today, I found out I won’t be achieving my dream.

I failed my math exam. I’d be surprised if I scored any points at all. I haven’t checked my score, but I received the “you’re a dummy” paper, saying that maybe, just maybe, it would be in my best interest to drop the class. Better luck next time, champ. With the failure, my chances of getting an A in the course are pretty much gone. And with the end of my A in math goes the end of my hopes for straight As, and a transfer to Columbia University sometime next year.

My dream was to transfer to Columbia after achieving a 4.0 GPA in my first year at Baruch and acing the SATs. Of course, I’d need even more than just straight As, as transferring to that particular Ivy League school is even more difficult than being directly admitted there, but that was the bare minimum I’d need to be considered. Now, I’ve got no shot.

I’m not an idiot; I don’t even dislike math. I just seem to put every single other thing possible before doing my schoolwork and other necessary things. I watch anime and Family Guy on YouTube, I play games on my PC, and I have a Facebook addiction that’s out of this world. If I would have spent half the time on math that I’d spent doing other things this weekend, I would have scored 200% on that test.

Honestly, it’s not even worth it; my internet addiction, I mean. None of the stuff I do here brings me any closer to my goals. I have 2 Facebook accounts with about 150 “friends” between them that I barely know, and who barely bother to reply to the things I post most times. What’s the point? I keep asking myself that question, but I never get an answer.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking down on Baruch by coveting a Columbia degree. Honestly, I didn’t even think I would have been accepted at Baruch until the day I recieved that letter in the mail. To be honest, I even think the education I’d recieve at Baruch would be comparable (hey, math is math, regardless where you learn it), but the prestige… the prestige of an Ivy League school is what I need. I have a lot of potential that I’ve neglected for a long time, and I’m ready to see how far it will take me. A prestigious degree will help me along the way immeasurably.

So, I have to make a change. I’m not going to get anywhere doing the things I’ve been doing. I’m going to quit the bullshit, cold turkey, right now. No more Facebook, no more anime and video game binges, no more. It’s time to focus.

Ashley Ward and a friend resolved to bring “Occupy Wall Street” to college campuses. They printed fliers, set up a Web site and blasted out e-mails. They told as many people as they could about their action plan. Occupy protests rapidly sprouted at other campuses: hundreds nationwide currently have or had some sort of Occupy-related activity going on. At Yale, a traditional feeder school for investment banks and hedge funds, students noisily protested a Morgan Stanley information session in the fall. Recruiting visits to Harvard, Princeton and Cornell have been similarly disrupted. Many of today’s new graduates find themselves heavily indebted, and to the same institutions that received multibillion-dollar bailouts in the financial crash. Median income is stagnant. Their public universities are underfinanced, and class sizes growing. College activists have linked these issues to broad critiques of the financial-political complex. Acts of protest have occurred nationwide for example Seattle Central Community Colleges found itself hosting not just protesting students but also Occupy Seattle campers who had been rousted from a downtown park. The problems that had riddled urban encampments found their way to the college site. Garbage accumulated. For their part, faculty members have largely supported the movement, participating in teach-ins and staging walkouts. After campus police at the University of California, Davis, doused students at a sit-in with pepper spray, it was the faculty association that called on the chancellor to resign. As Ericka Hoffman, 26, a junior at California State University, Bakersfield, and one of the organizers of Occupy Colleges mentioned, occupy protests at colleges provided a giddying sense of possibility. But the hardest battle, she believes, will be getting the political and financial masters of the universe to listen. I believe this article inspires leadership initiative, as students we should be supporting movements like these. A college diploma nowadays has become an expensive achievement to obtain, we are socialized to go to college, acquire loans, and try to prosper in an inflated economy, while there is economic inequality in society. As I student in high school I took leadership in a similar manner. In one of my groups, our budget was heavily cut; the group was called midnight run which feeds homeless people in Manhattan. In the previous years the school district would provide cans and food to donate but that year the school budget was focused on our new stadium. The funds to obtain food for the homeless were severely cut and we were told to find other means to feed people. As protest some friends and I placed posters all over campus highlighting this injustice and wrote to our board of directors until they listen. Our schools newspaper even wrote an article on our protest showing how bias the budget was being spent. With no option left the school provided more money to our club and a sense of pride emerged from all of us who spoke out to these injustices. Sometimes it really does take a small group of individuals to change an institution.

An average day

Today I woke up with the realization that my days had become repetitive. An average day now primarily consisted of school and work. I sat in my bed wondering where all the fun times had gone. Last summer alone I was traveling throughout Europe with all my closet friends. We didn’t have a care in a world other than figuring out how to get back after an excessive night of drinking. Just thinking about past memories I decided to change things up a bit, because well …. life is to short.

Normally I wake up at 6 am to make the long commute to school, it has taken some getting use to but almost mid way into the semester I can now wake up on time without cursing at my alarm clock. Since today was the day I was going to try new things I decided “ehh what the hell I’ll wake up at 7and be a little late to class. I figured I earned a small break. To my misfortune I woke up very late, but still to start the morning in a positive manner I didn’t let it bother me, I could always copy a classmates notes.

Once I arrived at Grand Central I figured “its not to cold outside”, maybe I should walk, after all I had already missed my first class. As I was walking down Lexington Avenue a homeless man began to follow me, trying to tell me about his love for bagels. ….. ok so maybe walking wasn’t the best idea. Still like my friend, Katie, says it’s at least a story you can tell, … a story huh? I just think she has really bad luck and maybe after years of friendship it’s starting to rub off on me. I finally make it class after a fast walk in order to lose the homeless loving bagel man.

Once I make it to campus I decide its best I study for my math test, I studied the night before but a little extra never hurt anyone. I look into my bag and I realize I forgot my notebook at home. Great. Normally I double check I have everything but since today was the day I would try new things I took my bag and went downstairs to enjoy a bowl of cereal as opposed to my usual on the go yogurt. The only redeeming aspect of this part of my day is that I’m very good at math, so no harm done I still A’s the test.

It’s not even noon and already things are going array. I’m now sitting in the library, laughing quietly to myself at how a small change in routine caused all this. This never happens to me, I’m always very organized … perhaps too organized; I seem to always have a plan even back up plans. Still like Katie says at least now I have a story to tell.

I wake up; it’s Monday, is it really Monday?

What happened to the weekend, wasn’t it just Friday?

It’ll flashback to me later

In a city that never sleeps, I seem to be always sleeping

Not that because I’m from Jersey, I have some Brooklyn in me too

I’ve been all over the world

But nothing is like New York

The city that always has me asking what happened

Forget it, let me go to school

I swear I see the same damn bird flying high as I get off that 6 train heading to school

Here I am, Baruch thousands of people walking around

Some of them looking like Edward Scissorhands dressed them up this morning

Many look nice though

Sitting down, just got something to eat

This girl is eyeing me like a kid doesn’t exist

Girl, I know you want this donut

Everybody free donuts on me

Schools done, it went alright,

Finally back to the dorms

Chilling good with the homies

I wake up, it’s Monday again

Wait, what happened?

Since I performed my monologue in class today, I will also post it.  Hopefully everyone else does too!  Here is my monologue that I wrote about a year ago…

Hi Everyone!!!!  As you all know, I am Joanna… First thing that I can tell you about me is that I get so annoyed when I am called Joanne.  You pronounce my name with the na sound at the end.  Therefore when people are trying to remember my name I usually tell them it rhymes with banana.  Anyways, I’m a 19 year old (turning 20 on November 30) Junior who’s majoring in Graphic Communication and I love it.  Besides that I’m a half Salvadorian and half Dominican girl with crazy curly hair that represents my life.  Fun fact… I changed my laugh because my old was so embarrassing.  (True Story:: Once my friends and I went out for dinner to celebrate the end of finals.  I began laughing and a friend who didn’t know my laugh, really thought I was dying.)  I am told by close friends that I am the sweetest person with the cutest personality they know.  If this is true, I don’t know but I can admit that I am determined to be positive and happy even if I’m not.  I try to have a smile on my face even if things are going wrong and if things go wrong, as they sometimes do (I feel like that line is part of a song) then I will just deal with it.  I also tend to smile for no reason whatsoever.

My top 3 concerns for this semester is…

1. Time-Managing – I am teaching two FRO classes as a peer mentor, I’m working in the Office of Student Life, I have 5 classes (2 of which I have to dedicate hours outside of class time) from Monday to Saturday,  I am in a sorority and even though I became inactive I still try to be around when I have time,  I don’t want to kill my social life, and I have a family that asks me to go to family events like every weekend.  My concern is trying to NOT stress myself out.
2. My freshmen students – Not only you guys, but my past, present, and future freshmen seminar students.  I want each and everyone of my students to have a good semester…. I want them to get good grades and to pass freshmen seminar.  But I also want all my students to have fond memories of Baruch College.  I want everyone to find a niche here in school or a friend to hang out with, attend USG parties, get active in clubs, become leaders, gain more confidence, find your passion, and graduate with a good G.P.A…. and get an AWESOME job.  My concern, I guess, is that they don’t try to make the most of their first semester which in all honestly is beyond my control.
3. I guess my last concern for this semester is finding an internship for next semester or researching which country to study abroad for the summer.  Even though its only plans, every day is one day less and I feel like I’m running out of time.

I graduated a catholic high school in June of 2009 and now its September 2011.  The difference from each experience is that I’m older, wiser, and closer to the “real world.”  I have more control of my life and make more mistakes but the lessons I learn from them are more useful.
I am beginning my third year here at Baruch College and I am definitely not the same girl who entered Mason Hall for Convocation in 2009.  I knew I was going to change but I didn’t expect how much.  When I began in Fall 2009, I was really naive.  Two years of Baruch College made me into a mature adult.  I went through a lot, pledging a sorority, becoming a student leader, getting As and Bs, failing classes, realizing that business was not for me, finding out that my passion was in the arts, and trying to find out who I am which honestly… I’m still trying to figure out.

Below is my self-portrait… It’s actually a photo I found on google.  Almost everything is true except that I have brown eyes instead of blue eyes. 

The first picture is an Ice rink, as I stated many times ‘”I love hockey”.  The feeling I get while I’m on the ice is indescribable. Not only do I get all my anger out but im playing the game I love to play. Every game is a new challenge, you have to find a way to win the game. Picture #2 LGR- Lets Go Rangers, I have season tickets, I am in charge of selling them though. If there is a game I don’t sell then someone in my family attends the game.  They are a lot of fun, especially when the rangers come up with a win.  The third picture isn’t something I do so often, maybe three times a year. Going to a rave, you and thousands of others jumping up and down, whats not to love. We got Israel, to me known as the Holy Land. I lived in Israel for about Two and a half months. Unbelievable time in my life, I traveled a little, went on many different trips from hiking to the top of mountains to paint-balling. Food i love food, you can’t live without it. To me its important to eat healthy, a combination of eating the right way and playing hockey equals to results!!

http://tinypic.com/r/2jdhnbd/6

This monologue is supposed to be about this semester so far

You see I first went to SUNY Albany

The atmosphere just wasn’t for me

I was homesick after the first night

I knew something just wasn’t right

I decided to come back home, no point in being upstate

Called some schools in the city but they said it was too late

So I spent some time working and learned how to drive.

The semester off kind of made me feel alive.

I took care of a lot of things at home especially because my mom left

You see at home I am the only girl I live with my dad and my brother so my house is always a mess

So as a college student I am faced with the question. What will I do for the rest of my life? Tough question right?

You want to be happy and love what you do

But we all want that nice paycheck too.

This semester is my first semester so it’s a little challenging to balance work, home, school, family, my boyfriend and going to the gym.

Feels like I don’t have time to breath

Math 1020 was BUNK

But I got a 99 on my final though which wasn’t that tough

And let me not start about Political Science talk about boring, it is honestly a joke

Sociology is probably my favorite class

English is cool except all we do it talk about sex and LGBT

History…. Is yeah… just a lot of studying

I just need to start adjusting

My biggest accomplishment in life was being SO president of my high school

I was involved in so many clubs so you can say I was kind of cool.

Baruch is a commuter school honestly I am not a big fan

Its hard to get used to I mean don’t get me wrong its great just not the same man

Maybe I will find my place here at Baruch.

I have met some cool people like A-money and Rubinator.

Who I spend most my time in school with and will probably hang out with later

I’m not really sure how to end this so I’m just going to stop here

I really hope to enjoy Baruch a little more next year

It sucks when your name is so common in this world, you get jumbled up with other people in systems.

First off, my name is Ruben Abimael Flores. Not Ruben Flores Jr. Secondly, I go to Baruch College, not Lehman College.

I came in for freshman orientation the happiest I could be. After taking a 6 month break from school, and working for a bit of that time, I figured I need find something to do before I become a couch potato. Several hours into the orientation itself, one of the peers pulls me out and tells me the one thing I didn’t expect.

“The last four digits of the social security you showed isn’t in the system.”

What? Are you kidding me? How is it that my information is wrong? I put all the information in myself! Lucky for me, the lady working in the ID center was a sweetheart, and had patience for my problems. It took me 3 weeks to fix all that was wrong. Tons of visits to the offices just to prove that I am NOT Ruben Flores Jr.

I’ve come to realize that no one will help you unless you seek the help itself. During that time, I met some of the dimmest people, some people who just don’t want to deal with student issues, and some people who understand the situations we’re put in.

Perhaps I’ll have experiences that you can’t find anywhere else. I hope the rest of my time here at Baruch will be just as eventful but less stressing.

The main theme from my free writes seems to be the problems with having two lives. My life is now transatlantic. I love being here and I’m so glad I came. I feel like it was something that I had to do and is one of the only things I really felt sure about even though it meant leaving my life in England. I applied to university in England, even though I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, so applied for psychology. I never actually sent the application as I decided I would take a year off and go to Australia with my friend. We ended up not having enough money to go to Australia and the idea of my gap year would be changed.

I got a job doing club photography and promotion and met some really amazing people and had the best time. After summer, all my friends from high school went away to university and my friend and I were left behind planning to go to Australia. We didn’t save enough so ended up coming to New York to stay with her sister. We had the best time together exploring New York city and Long Island and Queens- where we were living. I decided to apply to college in New York. We stayed in New York twice for two months each visit together. After I came back home from the second trip, I didn’t want to leave, I hated being back and didn’t do anything for a month. Even being at the airport hearing British accents made me depressed. Then I decided to apply to CUNY colleges and get back to New York.

Once summer started all my friends were home though and I had so much fun. Then when they all left again, the students at my local university were back so work got really good again. I ended up spending a lot of time on the campus promoting and met loads of people. I used to hate my hometown and complain about it all the time but the time between coming home and going to college, I really started to appreciate Norwich. I had a great job, a boyfriend, great friends, I was really loving my life. I got my acceptance letter for Baruch really late and I didn’t think I was going to get my VISA in time so I kind of convinced myself I would have to defer. I got a cancellation visa interview and got it in time.

Leaving was hard but I wasn’t excited. I didn’t want to leave the life I had built in Norwich but I felt like it’s something I really wanted to do but also had to do. I feel like it was important for me to get away from my hometown otherwise I would’ve stayed there not really experiencing anything else. I love it here now but sometimes I really miss Norwich. One of the free write prompts was where do you see yourself in 5 years, really made me realize that I have no idea which continent I want to end up living in. I love both so much and can’t choose.

I haven’t really had any problems at Baruch so far, I’m really enjoying everything and I’m not really finding it that different to the last 2 years of high School in England. Living in the dorms is interesting… I’m glad I did it as a life experience but I like my own personal space and sharing a room with two other girls and sometimes one girl’s boyfriend is crowded. I’ve had some really good experiences so far and I’m so glad I’m here but I’m also looking forward to going home for summer for the other half of my transatlantic life.

Im David I like a lot of stuff, what I like a lot is relaxing on the beach.  I don’t know what I like least.  I come from New Jersey and went to high school there, and then went to Israel.  Israel was a lot of fun I will never forget the time when me and my friends went to Tel Aviv for a weekend it was crazy.  I enjoy the beach a lot in Israel ,but when you go in the sea there are fish that nibble at you.  My friend got bit once and screamed like a little girl everyone at the whole beach looked at him and stated laughing.  Ever since then we call nisan, the litsan.  Nisan is his name and litsan is hebrew for clown.  I came back and now I go to college at Baruch.  Its going well, my biggest challenge is being able to stay attentive during my political science class.  The proffessor is very old and boring.  He talks a lot about the same things over and over again, really teaching his subject in an uninteresting way which is unfortunate.  I think the only two grades we have in that class are going to be a paper and a final.  The paper is probably going to be due in the coming weeks.  Id like to transfer to the University of Miami, because I love Miami.  I have a bad handwriting and I wish sometimes that it could be better.  I also like to draw 3D objects when lecturers get boring.  I want to do very well in school now because that way I would learn more.  I don’t think I learned so much in high school.  One of my greatest accomplishments this far in life was helping my little league team get in to the championship by hitting an inside the park grand-slam.  The bases were loaded, two outs, and a full count.  I hit the ball to deep center field, it hit the back fence and I had enough time to get to third base.  Than, while at third the outfielder threw the ball over the catchers head, I sprinted home slid under the catchers mitt and was called safe.  Everyone went crazy and I was a hero.  After the game the whole team went for ice cream and I got my favorite, vanilla strawberry swirl with cookie crunch on top.