Matt’s Monologue

I have so many things going on in my life right now.  There’s a saying that goes something like this, “If you love something you have to fight for it.”  Throughout my life, I have discovered myself and what I’m good at.  Unfortunately, I feel like I am trying to juggle most of these things all at once.  Right now, I am a full time student and part time worker.  When I first got accepted to Baruch, I was extremely excited.  For a big chunk of my semester off, I felt irresponsible; I felt like all of my friends were actually doing things in life while I was just doing absolutely nothing.  Therefore, when I found out that I was going to attend Baruch for the spring 2013 semester, my hopes changed.  This excitement came after another excitement –when I got hired to Staples.  I started working on October 17, 2012.  I will never forget that date, because that was the day I felt like things were actually going well in my life.  I had no responsibilities starting from the end of High School, which was June 2012, until I finally got hired.  The only question stuck in my head is: how come I no longer feel the same way as I felt when I got accepted to Baruch College and when I got hired to Staples.  Despite the fact that both of these things are wonderful bridges to a successful platform, I feel like this is not the bridge I should travel on.  I had to learn the hard way that school and work is not for me.  I was raised to believe that I NEED to go to school to end up having a good JOB.  However, I do not want to work a 9-5.  My plan is to be fully retired at a young age and have FUN.  And the only things that I feel are obstacles are school and work.  I love making music.  I’ve been making music since I was really young, and that is what I want to do for the rest of life.  Music is fun to me, and that is what I enjoy.  My only goal is to make a living out of what I love doing.  If I continue this path of going to school and working in Staples, I just wonder where I will end up.  However, I also wonder what will happen if I stop going to school and stop working.  Will I have a bad future?  My mom told me that I should make music a plan B and school plan A because there is a slim chance of making it in the music industry.  And that is exactly where I am stuck at.  Should I continue this path of going to school to study Business that will most likely get me a good career, or should I burn these bridges to a good career and start building a new bridge for a good life for ME.  A lot of people take Drake’s line as a joke, but it gets me thinking… “you only live once.”  It’s true; you do only live once, and I believe I should make the best out of it.  However, I am still in this predicament wondering what is best for me.