FROS13 FWA

I like my picture, therefore you all shall see it. I created this picture because left and right, I am assigned another paper. I can’t ever take a moment to relax and take a breath. Baruch is a place where I have not come to terms with. I have become adjusted to waking up Monday through Thursdays to go to class and back home. It takes a lot for me to write papers, I am unsure why, but it’s just a challenge I constantly face. Therefore, with papers that consume my time, I have no time to join clubs or hang out with friends because I have to make sure I keep a steady high grade in each of my classes.

It took me a long time to actually feel comfortable here at Baruch. Splitting time between a full work week and school left me with little time for myself or for any other school activity. If maybe by mere exposure rather than a conscious effort, the concrete, glass, the classrooms and the city itself becomes familiar and therefore a part of my natural environment. My classes have been for the most part enjoyable and I’ve learned more or less but still learned from each of them. The students body is extremely diverse and where some may say that there is a lack of community, I would point out that there is a collective. I see it every time I’m in the library or the computer lab. The endless keyboard clicks made by students trying to achieve something for themselves. I think that’s what I’ve taken away from my first three months of being at Baruch and the city. A sharpened goal and a drive to achieve it.

Also, cats are cute.

meme at Sanitaryum.com

Brought to you by http://flyingthingz.com/products/skycutter.html

God bless America for giving me this wonderful and exciting opportunity to learn and better myself. Truly, I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel and for the first time ever it feels as though I can finally breathe the fresh air of liberty.

http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2013-04-17/politics/38617843_1_gun-buyers-background-checks-gun-laws

Gun control completely fails to pass the Senate and Lady Liberty remains pure and sacred for another day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8C7i9kdEf8

God bless America.

The experience of this first semester of my college life left me the only feeling that is really tired. The college life is really different as my high school. There is more reading, writing, and more assignment that I had to done for each class. Every day I need to get up at 7:30, and go home at 4:30.  After that, I need to look after my children, and do house works. Finally, I do my homework around 11:30, when my children go to sleep. Sometimes, I just want to give up everything, because it is really tiring. I just wonder that when I can have enough sleeping time. However, I always tell myself, that is what the life I have been chosen, I cannot be regret, and the only thing I can do is keep forward.   

I still don’t give a fuck. It’s really not that bad here, but its not that great either. I guess I’ll try out some clubs during fall term and see how that goes for me since I didn’t really do any of that yet. Classes aren’t that bad (as yet) but most of the work I just don’t care about. Common core classes shouldn’t be allowed to give any out of class assignments. But for the most part people here are pretty chill, and I am slowly getting motivated to care about stuff, so hopefully next term will be better. Cause if it’s not I’m probably gonna dip. Nah I’ll probably just switch to part time student if it sucks. Yeah that’s it.

About the pic: I got it from a Google search but here’s the original website link, or at least the one that was pulled up by the search.

http://www.motifake.com/facebookview.php?id=41810

Up to this month, I would say college was pretty manageable.  Of course it also helps that I only go to school twice a week.  But I haven’t felt stressed until this month–all because of the upcoming and ominous finals.

I am accustomed to doing a lot of work.  In high school, I loaded my schedule with AP/Honors classes.  I was always busy juggling my studies with extracurricular activities.  But I felt satisfied at the end of the day, knowing that all my hard work would lead me to my desired college.  And then life happened:  I realized I couldn’t afford to go to my dream college.  It was during my senior year when this dawned on me.  I looked up at some of my report cards hanging on my wall, the number of books swallowing the whole surface area of my desk, and reminisced about all of my future plans.  Then I experienced somewhat of a meltdown, but I wasn’t about to give up.  In the midst of the busiest month of my senior year–with AP tests around the corner, a million essays to finish, and so forth–I dedicated whatever was left of my free time to writing a scholarship essay about Ayn Rand’s “The Fountainhead.” Even though the contest was open to all juniors around the world, I had this false sense of hope that I would be the victor and be the receiver of the $10,000 prize money.  I suppose I was fooling myself out of desperation.  Then you can guess what happened next.  It was like a big slap on the face, losing at something you sacrificed so much for.  Then I got slapped in the face several more times after that.  In summation, sh*t happened.

After taking the fall semester off, and blablablablabla…I ended up at Baruch College.  It’s bearable and maybe in the future, I’ll be able to say enjoyable.  But right now, I just can’t wait for the semester to be over.  The highlight of the whole semester was when my English Professor informed me that it is perfectly grammatically correct to start a sentence with “And” or “But.”  It’s just hard to enjoy where you are when you want to be somewhere else.  “Whatever,” I tell myself, “suck it up.”

1. What have you learned about yourself through your self assessments and how has this affected your choice of major and career goals?

I learned that I like social environments where I can stand back and observe my surroundings which helps me to have good intuition and the ability to help others by understanding them. It has helped me evaluate my personality and secure my desired career also, it made me realize that my assessment fits my major.

2. How do these results reflect a change from what you expected or planned for yourself previously?

The results weren’t anything that I didn’t already know so it didn’t change much.

3. How did participating in FOCUS 2 help you clarify a future direction for yourself?

It helped me to realize that I am sure about my career path but gave me some direction on how to go about it.

actionplan

1. I didn’t really learn anything new about myself. Most of the things it told me are what i already knew but just never thought about.
2. It told me things I was already planning to do.
3. It let me know that there a definitely more options available to me than what I had planned.

I took the time in between classes to visit the museum not entirely sure what I would find there. There were a bunch of students there on a guided tour and I thought to myself, “hey , i’m a student” so I just moved in and took the tour with them. I’ve seen art like this before but I was never really impressed with it but I knew it was entirely due to my ignorance on the cultural relevance behind it. Art can be as much of a timeline as anything else. It’s not just aesthetic but tells a story of time and a culture. Yet the multiple of characters and expressions and the colors all seemed a bit too “busy” for my untrained eye. However after carefully listening to the guide speak about the cloth painting of Mahakala, Vajra Panjarnata I found myself curious about everything. Why was the first buddha considered “void”, are all the rest direct decedents or pupils of the “primordial” buddha? Why do the demons have blue skin? Do various teachings of subsequent buddha’s contradict one another? I got most of my questions answered before I was found out by the teacher and asked to be quiet because they were on a schedule. Either way I plan to go back. I’m not crazy about the art but the stories behind them are fascinating and having a guide that provides historical reasons behind the art was very… enlightening.

Also the lion statues reminded me of my cat.

I’m not sure if I was supposed to cut and paste my entire report but essentially there is a lot of things still up in the air.

a. “What have you learned about yourself through your self-assessments and how has this
affected your choice of major and career goals?” More or less what I new already. That I am at least by the metric they use a “thinker” that I like to solve problems and that I like to see measurable results

b. “How do these results reflect a change from what you expected or planned for yourself
previously?” Not much of a change actually. Perhaps maybe a difference from a long time ago when I had other notions of public service,

c. “How did participating in FOCUS 2 help you clarify a future direction for yourself?” It doesn’t. At least not yet. I do however feel that it’s usefulness will increase as I take more classes and narrow down what I think I am cable of and what I excel at.