Final Blog Post

Whether you are enrolled in school or not, you feel the constant stress of expectations, the stress of applying to schools and the stress of actually being in school. The first three months at Baruch, for me, was a little bit weird. Waking up early and taking the train every morning was something I hadn’t done in what felt like a really long time. Although I had only been out of school for a year, it felt like an eternity. It wasn’t necessarily that I was really excited for school, because in all honesty, I didn’t miss it at all. Yeah, you can meet new people and learn new things but with school there’s work to do. Lots and lots of work. And work leads to stress. Lots and lots of stress. I don’t like work and I don’t like his best friend, stress, therefore I don’t really like school.

My whole life I never treated school like a playground. From both my parents and my teachers, I felt like I always had expectations to fulfill. It wasn’t a place to socialize and have fun, for me it was always just a place to work. So I did just that and it wasn’t soon after that I would be labeled “the smart kid.” And, lets be honest, nobody wants to be friends with the smart kid unless there’s an exam the following day. So with that said, I never really had much friends. Maybe two or three at most. And for much of my life I never considered my “friends” at school to even be my “real friends.” I always just viewed them as my friends at school because I always knew we wouldn’t be friends forever. College is much different. It’s a place that welcomes socialization and, well, it’s not exactly my forte. Perhaps it’s just a skill I’m still learning to acquire.

One of the most difficult things to balance during college is the time for work and the time for myself. I oftentimes find myself at crossroads between the two. I’m sitting down doing my homework thinking that I’d rather be catching up on that Once Upon a Time show on Netflix because I’m already half-way through the first season and it’s getting pretty good. But when I finally get to sit down and relax, instead of actually enjoying the show I’m stressing out over my English essay due next week. And those English essays are a real problem for me. I open up a new word document and I just stare at it for a good five minutes before I switch back to my tumblr tab and waste a good 20 minutes on that stupid site instead of doing my homework. And then I look back at the time and it has been way more than 20 minutes and then I stress out again because I haven’t even started the essay and it’s almost 6 o’clock and I’m really hungry and my laptop’s battery is at 10% and I don’t even know what to write about so I go take a nap instead. It’s like that episode of Spongebob where he has an essay to write and he does everything but, and then the mailman shows up and is like, “Don’t you have an essay to write?” and Spongebob’s like, “How did he know?” and then his house goes on fire. That’s it. That’s my college experience.

(from: http://www.tickld.com/pic/t/64738)