There is a saying I’m often reminded of lately: having a midlife crisis. This usually refers to fifty years old doing crazy things like partying and buying new cars to reinvent their youth. I’m only 20 years old, but I’m pretty sure I’m having a midlife crisis. I’m looking back on my life and can’t figure out what I want now, or what I’ve ever wanted for that matter. We are always told to follow our passion…passion is supposedly a diamond in the rough of life. My only problem is that I can’t seem to find my passion. To me, the concept of passion is similar to the concept of love at first sight. It sounds like a nice idea, and like something that could work in theory….but it just never seems to happen to me. I often wonder if I made some essential mistake in life that made me immune to passion. After high school all my friends found their passions and pursued their plans, but I’m still here 2 years later with no plans and a serious case of existential angst. See, part of what’s bothered me is that ever since middle school I’ve thought that your life has to be completely planned out. You have to know what job you’re going to work, and how you’re going to get there every minute of your life. However, I had a revelation on my last trip to London. Whenever you travel you have a choice, you may go to all the tourist destinations that people tell you to go to (the ones with the highest ratings and the longest lines), or you can do something different…My favorite way to travel is to go without a plan. I like to set myself down in the middle of an unknown city or terrain, pick a direction, and go full speed ahead. When I start out I’m always afraid of getting lost, but so long as I keep going I almost always find something phenomenal, a place that I can personally connect with. Upon experiencing this again in London, I thought that maybe life is also a bit like this. It is quite possibly that maybe I don’t have to have the plan that everybody tells me I should. When in doubt, maybe its best to just pick a direction, push yourself forward, and see what you can find in the midst. My hope is that some things in life are worth chasing blindly.
