Freshman Seminar – Spring 2015, DTD

There is a saying I’m often reminded of lately: having a midlife crisis. This usually refers to fifty years old doing crazy things like partying and buying new cars to reinvent their youth. I’m only 20 years old, but I’m pretty sure I’m having a midlife crisis. I’m looking back on my life and can’t figure out what I want now, or what I’ve ever wanted for that matter. We are always told to follow our passion…passion is supposedly a diamond in the rough of life. My only problem is that I can’t seem to find my passion. To me, the concept of passion is similar to the concept of love at first sight. It sounds like a nice idea, and like something that could work in theory….but it just never seems to happen to me. I often wonder if I made some essential mistake in life that made me immune to passion. After high school all my friends found their passions and pursued their plans, but I’m still here 2 years later with no plans and a serious case of existential angst. See, part of what’s bothered me is that ever  since middle school I’ve thought that your life has to be completely planned out. You have to know what job you’re going to work, and how you’re going to get there every minute of your life. However, I had a revelation on my last trip to London. Whenever you travel you have a choice, you may go to all the tourist destinations that people tell you to go to (the ones with the highest ratings and the longest lines), or you can do something different…My favorite way to travel is to go without a plan. I like to set myself down in the middle of an unknown city or terrain, pick a direction, and go full speed ahead. When I start out I’m always afraid of getting lost, but so long as I keep going I almost always find something phenomenal, a place that I can personally connect with. Upon experiencing this again in London, I thought that maybe life is also a bit like this. It is quite possibly that maybe I don’t have to have the plan that everybody tells me I should.  When in doubt, maybe its best to just pick a direction, push yourself forward, and see what you can find in the midst. My hope is that some things in life are worth chasing blindly.

A friend once described me as an interesting person that doesn’t do interesting things….at the time that this was said I felt very insulted, but as I sit here struggling to find words to describe myself I can’t help but feel that maybe he was right. The events of my life hardly portray who I am, but I suppose that is the burden of summation is it not? So without further ado….I’m a small town kid. I grew up in a Colorado town named Durango. I often refer to it as the foil to NYC. Literally nothing is similar between these two places except that they both get very cold. Throughout my life I have been very involved in music, at one point I played in both band and orchestra. I was definitely a bit of a nerd. After high school I took a year off of schooling, and moved to NYC on a bit of a whim. On Oct. 18th almost two years ago I flew into Newark with pretty much nothing. I had some clothes and a girlfriend, but no possessions, no plan, no job, and no apartment. I was terrified and determined, and more importantly I’m still here. If there is anything that my moving to New York taught me, its that crazy, stupid actions sometimes work out. The only thing I love possibly as much as music is traveling, and I’ve made it a priority to travel overseas at least every couple of years especially now that a few of my good friends live in other countries. Oh, I also like lifting things up and putting them back down….I’m a pretty strong guy, but what I love most about lifting weights is that it is a constant reminder that there is always another level that can be achieved. And that’s about all you need to know about me.

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When I graduated from high school, I felt happy that four years of high school is finally over, school teachers made me feel so tired, even I don’t do homework most of the time.  All the friends graduated with me the same year, they looks pretty sure about which college they planing to attend, some choose to join military, and i was still wondering where am i heading next.

I was off the whole year when i graduated, during this year, I feel helplessness, hopelessness, and loneliness.  I tried to find a job that i can financially support myself, but lack of experience won’t let me work longer, I changed several jobs, and i didn’t find any job that was well paid, i felt tired, and I don’t think I’m ready to start a career yet.

A few weeks later, I applied four colleges as i did before, but this time, i got accepted some colleges, I am so excited, But i choose the most difficult senior college Baruch, I don’t know how long I can survive in this college, I was so worried, until now, I’m still worried about will i get kick out of college, But college feels much better than work. so i made a wise decision.

Just like many of you, I decided to make my monologue regarded my arrival in America too. And since many of you chose to talk about this, I think you may understand that this was a very big thing about me.

Coming to U.S was for sure the most difficult decision that I ever had to make in my life. I mean, studying here was my dream since I was 15, but for someone who never lived away from the family and had everything ready from her parents was certainly hard.

I remember the days when my visa to come here was approved and I should started packing because a week later I had to be at school. I had finally gotten what I always wanted but I wasn’t excited as I had always imagined to be .I kept doubting everything and asking myself for every single day if this is what I really wanted. I guess because I was afraid of all the changes that were about to happen in my life.

Now that I’m here, I ask myself another question: If I ever regret the decision that I made. Of course I don’t. If I would give everything away because of my fear, I would still be in my small city, going in the same places, doing the same things and experiencing nothing new. I don’t regret coming in New York because in such a short time I feel like I have learned many things. Most importantly, I have learned that things are not as easy as they seem when you are alone and you have to do them on your own. But they are also not impossible to do either.

I am here, an incredible city

Empire State, Statue of Liberty

A place where dream start and raise

Just like LEGO, dream is built by yourself, no one else

Here, it’s not only a place for dream

Indeed, it’s a place you can achieve dream by pace

No matter the pain or the money game, I stand still, refuse the greedy silhouette

Remember this second home give you happiness

Undoubtedly, this is NYC, my second home, sweet home.

Although almost all my friends know i like soccer ball, i like watching basketball at the same time .  In China, basketball is the most popular sport for the teenagers, and most of us will be proud of watching a NBA game if we watch in the basketball court and face to face some famous basketball players.

I will remember Nov. 15th. 2014, the date is the first time for me to watch a basketball game . In the past, I just saw these famous basketball player on television or online , however, i was extremely excited and delighted while i was seeing Kelvin Garnett, Joe Johnson, Derron Williams, Maxi Lopez and Plumlee . In particular, i like KG the best, his pass , shot and blocks all attract me and i was enjoying myself during the game. Regretfully, I have not take a picture with KG, but i was satisfied so.

Hitherto, i am going to make a schedule to watch a soccer game, like the New York FC, which team David Villa plays for now and more sports games.

Sports is an important part in my life now, and i am enjoyable while playing and watching it.

What should you write about in a monologue like this? It is a tough question from me. I want to be clever, I want to be original and make sure that what I do, is not something trivial. The problem with having clever topics in a monologue is that they tend to be very long, and this is not supposed to be a long monologue. What other subjects can I write about?

Too many people are talking about how their trip to New York, so that will not make me original. I was thinking of having a grandiose subject that will make everyone that reads it smarter. I quickly put that idea to rest as it is far easier said than done. So should I write about Sweden? No, too far fetch and rather boring. Too soon my readers will figure out Sweden for a small and nice country, filled with schools and hospitals, all paid by tax dollars of course.

So I ended up writing a trivial text, maybe original but definitely trivial. This text will probably not have a huge impact on society and will not fundamentally change any of my readers. I am also not sure if this text will be read at all? If you have read this text you can tell me next FRO-class.

Thank You!

This is my first time to live alone in NYC. When I was ‘controlled’ by my parents, I was thinking about the day I can live alone. However, when the day is really coming, I feel nervous and I realize that I will face a lot of questions that I may not have ability to solve it. Although, I hope I can always be happy and keep running to my future.

I walk, and as I walk I Breath,

deep, clean, crisp.

This is what I call home.

My skin becomes sticky from the ocean mist,

clinging to every skin cell and infusing in me the essence of this land.

How I miss this place,

My land, my home, my love.

The people, oh the people,

how they love with hearts overflowing,

Will ensure that our culture,

Is one that will become your dwelling.

So sit and understand why all of this praise is given to,

My land, my home, my love.

With vegetation so rich, and culture so deeply rooted,

It’s no wonder why this island is everyone’s choosing.

From dancing and singing in colors of red, green and gold,

To relaxing under the sun, toes in the sand, with a drink ice cold.

There is no place i’d rather be than,

enjoying the sweet melodies of

My Land, my home, my love…………….. Grenada.

This is a package came from one of my best friends in Taiwan. When I received this package, I felt so touched. And this package really meaningful to me.

Fortunately, my friends didn’t forget me, on the contrast, they encouraged me not to afraid of the new life in America. They sent me packages and told me they miss me so much and really want to listen to my stories in USA.