Great Works of Literature I (Fall 2016)

Original Hebrew

ו  לֵךְ אֶל נְמָלָה עָצֵל    רְאֵה דְרָכֶיהָ וַחֲכָם.

ז  אֲשֶׁר אֵין-לָהּ קָצִין    שֹׁטֵר וּמֹשֵׁל.

ח  תָּכִין בַּקַּיִץ לַחְמָהּ    אָגְרָה בַקָּצִיר מַאֲכָלָהּ.

ט  עַד-מָתַי עָצֵל תִּשְׁכָּב    מָתַי תָּקוּם מִשְּׁנָתֶךָ.

י  מְעַט שֵׁנוֹת, מְעַט תְּנוּמוֹת    מְעַט חִבֻּק יָדַיִם לִשְׁכָּב.

יא  וּבָא-כִמְהַלֵּךְ רֵאשֶׁךָ    וּמַחְסֹרְךָ כְּאִישׁ מָגֵן.

Translation A:

1. Go to the ant, slacker; see her paths and be wise.

2. She does not have an commander, overseer or ruler,

3. Prepares in the summer her bread, and gathers in the harvest her food.

4. Till when, slacker, will you lie down? When will you arise from your slumber?

5. “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little embrace of hands to nap”.

6. So will come as a runner thy poverty; thy lacking as a guardsman.

Notes:

In A, I decided to translate the Hebrew text as literally as possible. That meant not only providing the most literal interpretation for each individual word, but also meticulously following each line’s specific sentence structure to the greatest extent possible. That also meant not adding any words of emphasis or clarification.

Translation B

1. Go to the ant, bum, contemplate her ways and be wise.

2. Though she is without a commander, overseer or ruler,

3. She prepares her bread from the summer, and gathers her food in the harvest.

4. Till when will you sleep, O bum? When will you arise from your slumber?

5. “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little embrace of the hands to nap.”

6. So will come as a sprinter thy poverty; thy lacking as an armed man.

Notes:

Translation B is an attempt to present the poem to a contemporary audience, better obey English conventions, and clarify the intentions of the narrator. The result is a more liberal translation.

Line by line differences:

1. Slacker vs bum–I chose the more colloquial “bum” in B because it closely resembles the terseness of the word עָצֵל, and is said with as much contempt. Still, “slacker” may technically be a closer interpretation of the word in this context, because it more immediately brings to mind someone who has substantial ability but not the work ethic, a trait these verses are strongly rebuking.

2-3 Addition of words “though” “She” and “from” in version B, and different sentence structures: These three words, especially the latter, were added to make the metaphor clearer and more easily understandable. In A, I followed the hebrew word order exactly, and put “summer” and “harvest” in the middle of the sentence. I tried to make it flow better in B, which kept the parallel structure of the original hebrew but reordered the sentence so that the verb immediately preceded the noun, without a qualifier in between.

4. Similar idea to the above: Version A followed the hebrew sentence, resulting in an awkward spot for “bum”. In B, I moved it to the end of the rhetorical question. Also, תִּשְׁכָּב literally means to lie down”, so I felt obligated to include that in the first translation.

6. In B, I changed “runner” to “sprinter” to emphasize the narrator’s point about the swift connection between laziness and negative consequences. Finally, though “אִישׁ מָגֵן” literally means a shields-man or a guard, I decided to just use armed men so as to avoid confusing the reader and clarify that the final phrase is a warning, not some type of promise of protection for the willfully lazy.

Re: Stacks – Bon Iver

“This my excavation and today is Qumran
Everything that happens is from now on
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed

I keep throwing it down, two hundred at a time
It’s hard to find it when you knew it
When your money’s gone
And you’re drunk as hell”

Translation – Literal

My mind is dreary

My mind is stuck

I declare an unpacking and setting free of that which holds me back

From this point on, all is brand new

Continuously I gamble love, and then some

Love is hard to rediscover

Especially when you’re helpless

And delusional

Justin Vernon (Bon Iver) can have lyrics that seem quite encrypted sometimes, which is why I decided to do a literal translation of an excerpt from his song, Re: Stacks. The song, in a nutshell, is about rebuilding himself after an emotionally tolling and ultimately terminated relationship. Vernon likes to use extended metaphors in his songs, and in this specific one he compares the concept of love to a game of poker – blind and gambled away. He realizes that he has to fix or live with what is depressing him (undying love for a former lover), so he goes with the latter. The Qumran excavation is paralleling the uncovering of the dead sea scrolls, which was a discovery that changed the entire course of Christianity, with the act of bringing to the surface his deep-seated romantic feelings for said lover and proceeding to contain them rather then let them ruin him. It’s akin to a rebirth. He gives his love away hastily and in large quantities to the girl, faster than his sanity can keep up with, leaving him broken in his drunken- and helplessness.

Translation – In the retrospective style of a middle-aged American dad with a new outlook on life after a tough divorce, who still has an undying love for his ex and also REO Speedwagon

As REO Speedwagon sang, “I can’t fight this feeling anymore”,

From now on, I’m just going to Roll With the Changes

I was “speeding” down a dark path

In the Stillness of the Night

I Kept the Fire Burnin, Kept On Loving You

All the while thinking… “That Ain’t Love,” even though it was

But I was broke as a damn joke

And soused, as my old man would say, after finishing off a 6-pack of Bud Light Lime

I decided to add a bit of allusion to the mix. This translation was created through the lens of a ~50 year old American dad who can’t get past his ability to reference REO Speedwagon long enough to poetically express his undying love for his now ex-wife after a tough divorce. I basically took each line and translated it using the mind of said dad and the relatable and oh-so-singable song titles of the famous 80s rock band.

Below is a verse from Jay Chou’s song 聽媽媽的話

Original:
聽媽媽的話
別讓她受傷
想快快長大
才能保護她

Translation 1 (Word for Word):
listen mom mom (possessive particle) words
don’t let her suffer hurt
want quick quick grow big
just can defend protect her

The word for word translation gives a meaning to each individual word but is choppy when looking at it as a whole. The repetition of the word mom in the word for word translation is not accurate because both 媽 and 媽媽 both have the same meaning of mom, however 媽媽 is more commonly used. 媽媽 was most likely used over 媽 to follow the 5 character per line pattern. The separation of certain characters throw off the translation. For example, 快 means fast/quick but 快快 means quickly. 保 and 護 have similar word for word translations, but just mean protect when put together. The same can be seen with 受傷.

Translation 2:
Listen to mother’s words
Don’t let her get hurt.
You want to grow up quickly
So you can take care of her.

This translation cleans up the repetition in the word for word translation. The translation is meant to have a more Western flow. I used the words “to” and “so,” something the Chinese language does not have a direct translation for, to help make the verse sound more collective. Like in the translations of Wang Wei, the inevitable I appears. It is quite difficult to translate without using I because many sentences in Chinese are spoken/written without a verb but is understood to be the speaker or the audience. With these given Chinese character, I feel like there are little ways to translate it because the lyrics are very straightforward and the phrases have singular meanings.

好好学习，天天向上

This simple Chinese phrase, ubiquitous in elementary and middle schools across the nation, has become a cultural icon. Self-deprecating (as close as self-deprecation gets, as it is not really part of Chinese humor), this phrase makes fun of the inept English education in China through the following translation:

Good Good Study, Day Day Up.

Which is an approximate character-by character translation of the original phrase:

好 = Good

学习 = Study

天 = Day

向上 = Upwards

This literal English translation became part of the urban vernacular, used for both encouragement and mockery to students.

A more accurate translation would be:

Study well, make progress everyday.

By keeping the imperative tone, introducing no pronouns, and preserving the originally structure, this translation is much more fitting according to Weinberger’s standards. However, no perfect translation can ever replace the original phrase, whose popularity is so vast that it became a TV show title.

Lolita by: Vladimir Nabokov

Лолита, свет моей жизни, огонь моих чресел. Грех мой, душа моя. Ло-ли-та: кончик языка совершает путь в три шажка вниз по нѐбу, чтобы на третьем толкнуться о зубы. Ло. Ли. Та.

Она была Ло, просто Ло, по утрам, ростом в пять футов (без двух вершков и в одном носке). Она была Лола в длинных штанах. Она была Долли в школе. Она была Долорес на пунктире бланков. Но в моих объятьях она была всегда: Лолита.

Translation #1: Lolita, sun of my life, fire of my loins. Sin my, soul my. Lo-le-ta: Tip of the tongue makes way in the three steps down to be pushed on the third of the teeth. Lo. Le. Ta.

She was Lo, Simple Lo, in the morning, feet five (without two inches and in one sock). She was Lola in long pants. She was Dolly in school. She was Delores on the dotted line. But in my arms, she was always: Lolita.

• This is an extremely literal interpretation of the text. Russian is a very interesting language, in the sense that it is extremely difficult to properly translate into English. Nabokov originally wrote Lolita in English, and later translated the infamous work into his native tongue, Russian. In reading my literal translation of the text, it is very obvious to the reader that it does not make much sense. For instance, take the sentence: “Tip of the tongue makes way in the three steps down to be pushed on the third of the teeth.” This sentence is a demonstration of a literal translation of Russian, that lacks meaning and the essence of Nabokov was trying to portray.

Translation #2: 

Lolita, Light of my life, Fire of my loins. My sin, My Soul. Lo-Le-Ta: Tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Le. Ta.

She was Lo, Simply Lo, in the morning, Four foot ten and in a single sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly in school. She was Delores on the dotted line. But in my arms, she was always: Lolita.

• This translation is less literal than the first. Although very similar to its literal counterpart, it reads much smoother and does a better job at capturing the essence of Nabokov. In my second translation of the text, I focused on making sure that the words flowed cohesively, and that the sentence made sense as a whole. I also tried to think back to reading Lolita, and attempting to emulate the emotion and essence of Nabokov’s writing.

やっと目を覚ましたかい？

それなのになぜ目も合わせやしないんだい？

「遅いよ」と怒る君

これでもやれるだけ飛ばしてきたんだよ

 

心が体を追い越してきたんだよ

 

君の髪や瞳だけで胸が痛いよ

同じ時を吸いこんで　離したくないよ

遥か昔が知る　その声に

生まれてはじめて　何も言えばいい？

 

君の前前前世から僕は君を探しはじめたよ

そのぶきっちょな笑い方をめがけてやってきたんだよ

 

君が全然全部なくなって　チリヂリになったって

もう迷わないまた1から探しはじめるさ

むしろ０からまた宇宙を始めてみようか

Loose Translation

Have you finally opened your eyes?

But, even so, why is it you won’t meet my gaze?

“You’re late” says the angry you

But, even so, I ran here as fast as I could.

My heart got here before my body could.

Just the sight of your hair and your eyes make my chest hurt

Breathing in the same moment as you, I don’t want to let it go.

To that voice that I’ve known since a long time ago,

For our first meeting, what should I say?

I had begun searching for you many lives before.

Setting my sights on that awkward smile, I made it to where I am now.

Even if you were to lose everything and be scattered by the winds,

I will never lose my way again.

I’ll just start searching again from step one

Or maybe I should start the whole universe again from zero?

The principle of this translation is to keep the meaning and feeling of the song in tact. A literal translation of this song would end up incomprehensible because of the difference in Japanese and English grammar. This translation doesn’t keep the rhythm of the song, so it would be difficult to do an English cover of the song with these lyrics.

Transliteration

Yatto me o samashita kai?

Sore nanoni naze me mo awase ya shinaindai?

“osoi yo” to okoru kimi

kore demo yareru dake tobashitekitanda yo

kokoro ga karada o oikoshite kitanda ya

kimi no kami ya hitomi dake de mune ga itai yo

onaji toki o suikonde hanashitakunai yo

haruka mukashi kara shiru sono koe ni

umarete hajimete nani o ieba ii?

Kimi no zen zen zense kara boku wa kimi o sagashihajimetayo

Sono bukiccho na waraikata o megakete yattekitanda yo

Kimi ga zenzen zenbu nakunatte chirijiri ni nattatte

Mou mayowanai mata ichi kara sagashihajimeru sa

Mushiro zero kara mata uchuu o hajimetemiyou ka

The principle of this translation was transliteration. The translation is written in romaji, which is a representation of Japanese sounds using the western, 26-letter alphabet. This translation makes it easy for Western readers to be able to read the text. By replicating Japanese sounds in English, English speakers are able to sing along to the song. However, the problem with this translation is that the meaning of the song is not conveyed to the listeners if they don’t understand Japanese.

Sonetos Tres- Pablo Neruda

Amor, cuántos caminos hasta llegar a un beso,
qué soledad errante hasta tu compañía!
Siguen los trenes solos rodando con la lluvia.
En Taltal no amanece aún la primavera.

Pensar que costó tantas piedras que lleva el río,
la desembocadura del agua de Boroa,
pensar que separados por trenes y naciones

tú y yo teníamos que simplemente amarnos,
con todos confundidos, con hombres y mujeres,
con la tierra que implanta y educa los claveles.

Translation 1:

Love, how many steps to arrive at a kiss,

what solitude therewas before your company!

The trains continue rolling in the rain.

In Taltal the spring has yet to awake

to think that cost so many stones that bears the river,
the mouth of water Boroa,
think separated by trains and nations

you and I had to just love us
all confused, with men and women,
with the earth that educates and carnations.

This poem is part of a compilation of 100 which I grew up with while learning to read in Spanish. This translation is as literal as possible. I was not able to translate the rhythm, Spanish has strict rules about accentuation and inflection. 

Translation 2:

Beloved, what a journey it was to arrive at your lips,

such solitude before your company.

Regardless of us,

the trains push through the rain.

In Taltal, the Spring delays.

To think, with the weight of the stones the river bears,

the water at the mouth of the Boroa,

think of separation by trains and nations

because all we could do was think of it.

You and I had only to love each other

others confused, both men and women,

even the earth that teaches carnations to bloom.

Our only responsibility was us.

This translation is more of an attempt to relay the essence behind the poem, and make it “better”. I tried to make it easier to understand. Neruda paints a new world in the entirety of this poem (this is an excerpt) where these lovers reside among others, but do not necessarily exist in that plane because their only concerns are their own. All of that is not directly stated, rather implied. Not because of selfishness, but because it simply is not their purpose. As such, you’ll notice that I added a few lines.

Original: 

Olha que coisa mais linda

Mais cheia de graça

É ela menina

Que vem e que passa

Num doce balanço

A caminho do mar

Moça do corpo dourado

Do sol de Ipanema

O seu balançado é mais que um poema

É a coisa mais linda que eu já vi passar

Translation #1:

Look what thing more beautiful

More filled of grace

Is she girl

Coming and going

In a sweet balance

The way to the sea

Miss of golden body

The Ipanema sun

Your balance is more than one poem

It’s the thing most beautiful that I have ever seen pass

Principle #1: When translating the previous passage, my first method was to translate word by word regardless of whether it would be grammatically correct. I wanted to bring forth the literal meaning and pay no mind to what the author of the song is trying to convey. For instance, although “Is she girl” makes absolutely no sense, that is actually the exact translation of the Portuguese phrase: “É ela menina.” Seeing how incoherent the literal translation of the song turned out emphasizes that although when reading translated works we may often want to know exactly what something means, knowing the literal meaning will probably be of no help. In fact, it is likely that the literal meaning will not fit into our grammatical system or have any meaning in our society.

Translation #2:

Look at this beautiful being

Full of grace

Its her

That comes and goes

Moving sweetly

Towards the ocean

Girl with the golden body

From Ipanema’s sun

The way you move is more than a poem

It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen

Principle #2: Since I grew up listening to this song–a classic in Brazil–I immediately saw how much the literal meaning distorted it. Therefore, for my second translation I decided to keep both what the author is trying to depict as well as my personal views in mind. Describing the girl as a thing actually enhances the Portuguese version of the song for it fits into the society. It makes her iconic rather than simply a girl the author spotted on the beach. However, I felt that to capture this I needed to change thing from being when writing the english version. Aside from this, I also decided to change a few words that although were not the literal meaning, actually managed to highlight the overall meaning of the passage in a better light.

Rima XXIII – Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer

Por una mirada, un mundo,
Por una sonrisa, un cielo,
Por un beso… ¡yo no sé
Que te diera por un beso!

Translation 1

For a look, a world

For a smile, a sky and heaven,

For a kiss…I do not know

What you give for a kiss!

Continue reading →