A stone and a flower came into life through hands of a monk. They, Baoyu and Daiyu, were born human to complete their earthly fates, their disposition life — the stone to experience earthly life and the flower to love the stone to repay his kindness on her. Their lives ended in miseries, disappointment, and death because of other people’s involvement and decisions, in this story their families. Their love shattered. Their wishes unfulfilled.
The novel’s ending might have been very different if Baoyu and Daiyu had stood up and fought for their heartfelt love.
The Story of the Stone by Cao Xueqin has a lot to do with fate, a disposition of one’s life. This is not a made-up concept to make a set-up for his novel. It is indeed a belief upheld by many people then and now. They believe that much of what happens in their lives are supposed to be so. It is predetermined by their fates. If it is so, there is no other way around it. How can it be worth trying to do it otherwise when anything and everything we do will never push this life beyond the border of fate?
My friends, don’t you ever do what others tell you to do? Don’t you ever believe what people tell you to believe? Much of this life is the speculation of your own actions. Yes, we may be born a stone, since we cannot control the creation part; but be a walking one! Choose your own path and walk your own journey! Many people will come and tell us which way to go; but “in the end the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself” (Can’t go back now, Weepies).
I agree! Since we cannot decide the family we were born into, we can change our own destiny afterward. In our lives, many people had come and gone, their mission was gave you lessons about the life and society. Although people who surround tell you what to do, you do not have to carry out all of them. Their words can only consider as advise, they are not you, they did not experience what you had experienced, they do not know what kind of life you desired, therefore, they commend what did you do, and what you are going to do. We have to learn to live with our own passion, and not tie your own life with others’ view.
I love the way you ended your blog. Some people are blessed with the luck of the draw. People can be born with beauty, intelligence, or wealth. Everyone is affected by society, but it is our job to deal with all the cards life deals to us, and persevere. We don’t have to live your life according to social norms. People can choose to be different, the keys are in each individuals hands.
I agree but it is very hard to overcome about Asian traditional family culture. In Korea, has also very strong family relationship, so when a man loves woman and they want to get married but people thinks that it is not your business it is whole family decision. Therefore, a lot of many people suffer this kind of problem. Moreover, in novel, Baoyu is descripted something like stone and Daiyu is descripted something like tree, this kind of concept come from Taoism and it influences to around China, Korea, and Japan, so when a couple decide to get marriage and then first, family shared their biography and matching the horoscopes of a prospective bride and groom. In the story, grand mom opposes to get married with Baoyu and Daiyu by this kind of concept. This kind of story, in Korea, many people are located same situation even me. But I think that it is not important in our life but sometimes, it is very difficult to understand to my parents.
Cao Xueqin exposed the darkness in the society. At that time, people were required to respect and obey their older generations. If they were against their guardians, the whole society would blame them. Without parents’ acceptance, the couples were hard to get together. I think that Cao Xueqin wanted the society to be repaired, so he wrote Nv Wa repaired the sky at the beginning. Cao Xueqin took a good step. We are not robots that we have our own thoughts and feeling, so we should learn to control their lives and don’t let others to decide their future.
Truth becomes fiction when fiction’s true; real becomes not-real where the unreal’s real. This statement at the exordium sticks like glue to the whole concept of the story and the point in which you made; the concept is simple the real becomes not real when the unreal is real, but your real or reality can’t become unreal if you follow your own intuition and make your decisions based on what you want or desire.
Yes!!! The novel would have ended up much different if Baoyu and Daiyu stood up for their love but many of the cultures in vast areas of the world then and even the world we live in today still have that tradition. There are many sides to the same story, I like your side, the fight for true love, but only difference is through whose eyes are you looking from. Bottom line, it comes down to the basic fundamentals of all things from harmony to poverty, from love to war; it is called the art of sacrifice. Sacrifice is necessary, whether you want to be successful- go to college or whether you want to have a blast at the party, in both cases, you sacrifice time. In this case here, speaking from an old Asian-cultured elderly (think grandpa/ma) point of view, “you cannot think only about yourself, think of how upset your mother or father will be, how betrayed and ashamed would they feel. They would not be able to live in this village anymore, everyone will laugh at them.” leaving you to feel, “yes, you are right, I must sacrifice my own happiness…” for those I love because if I do this then I only sacrifice my happiness which leaves everybody very happy, my parents and my aunts, uncles, grandparents, society, etc, etc… Though chivalry seems to be somewhat dead in this century but back then, honor was a huge part of one’s life. It was something you couldn’t live without (Think in terms of a smartphone. #lol).
But this doesn’t mean that I support the way the protagonists’ life turn out in the end. It just that I wanted you to view a different way of seeing things.
By the way, I love the concept of “Be a walking Stone” and yes, one must not go where the road may lead but instead start your own road and leave a trail. Reminds me of my favorite poem, “The road not taken” by Robert Frost. Kudos.