In his short story, “Cathedral”, Raymond Carver says, “they talked of things that had happened to them-to them!-these past ten years. I waited in vain to hear my name on my wife’s sweet lips: ‘and then my dear husband came into my life’-something like that. But I heard nothing of the sort” (p. 271). I thought that this was very rude and inconsiderate because Carver’s wife wasn’t even paying attention to her own husband. She was deep in conversation with “the blind man”. I think that his wife should’ve been more careful about how friendly she was going to be with the blind guest because it seemed like it made Carver feel left out. This is something that I think all married couples should take into consideration. I’m not saying that a married woman can’t have a friend who’s a man. I just think that she should think about how much time she is devoting to her friend compared to the amount of time that she dedicates to her husband, especially when they are in the same room. This should, off course, apply to men as well.
But, Raymond’s wife wasn’t the only one that acted rudely. Carver shows how judgmental and stereotypical he is when he says, “his being blind bothered me. My idea of blindness came from the movies, the blind walked slowly and never laughed. Sometimes they were lead by seeing-eye dogs. A blind man in my house was not something I looked forward to” (p. 265). I definitely disagree with Carver’s view of how blind people are. I have a friend who is blind and she is always laughing. Sometimes she is more fun to talk with than others. I think that he should have accepted the situation he was in (his wife’s blind friend was going to stay over) and given the man a chance. I think that Carver would agree with me because, by the end of his short story, he seemed to have bonded with the man.
Another conclusion that I can draw from this quote is that we can’t use what we see on television or what we hear from others to judge people. Television shows and movies usually exaggerate how things really are. Also, people can’t be categorized into a single group. There could be some blind people who are sad and who never laugh, but this doesn’t mean that they are all like this.
Questions:
- Do you think that it would be acceptable for a married man or woman to be really good friends with someone of the opposite sex? Would problems arise with their spouse? Why?
- Why do people use television and other media to judge certain groups of people? Do you think that there is a solution to this?
-Perla Alvarez
i think that it would be acceptable for either a married man or woman to be really good friends with someone of the opposite sex on condition that both parties agree with the relationship and there are limitations applied so as not to provoke each other.
Relationships are similar to the concept of beauty because they are both abstract in the sense that both exist but neither are hold the same meaning or interpretation for everyone. Personally, I believe that married couples are allowed to share close relationships with those other than their spouse. However, I do agree that there should be some boundaries as is with every type of relationship. It is possible that a friendship outside of a marriage can cause probably. Although, that relates to the presence of insecurities. If there is a high level of trust, there should not be problems. From the beginning of Craver’s story, it seems that the narrator is insecure about his wife’s relationship. He mentions the poem his wife writes and recalls that “she talked about what she had felt at the time, about what went through her mind when the blind man touched her nose and lips” but then says he “didn’t think much of the poem.” (266) This makes me think that Carver holds on to the memory of his wife’s poem unknowing because it did indeed trigger some feeling of insecurity within him.
As for the stereotypes that television endorse, such generalizations are usually completely off. The worst part is that because television plays such an important role in our society today, most of us rely on what we get from television. Our ideas of credible sources has diminished quite significantly. I believe the only real solution to overcoming these generalizations, is to experience first hand to situations and images that are generalized. Similar to the narrator’s experience of drawing with his eyes closed, we need to go beyond our comfort zone. As the narrator puts it, “it’s really something.” (279) Therefore I believe that to experience is the most effective form of knowledge.