I am a well-behaved little girl. My mother always tells me what I can do and what I can’t. She never really tries to communicate with me. When she asked me if I sing benna in Sunday school, I told her I didn’t. She ignored me and kept talking about the boring rules. I was a little bit sad because my mother was like a cold robot. I listened quietly when she told me how to become a lady. Even if all those rules were made to kill my nature, I tried to remember and obey what she said. I couldn’t play like a boy not to mention play with them. I was told to hide all my genuine emotions and express certain gestures depend on different conditions. Gradually, I know how to smile to someone I don’t like too much; I know how to smile to someone I don’t like at all; I know how to smile to someone I like completely. It’s tired to be a lady, it is like wearing a mask all day long. I feel lonely and depressed, but I don’t want to make my mother disappointed. So I learn how to behave well and I get used to it eventually.

I know I am going to become a lady. I learn how to express my emotions; I learn how to get housework done perfectly; I learn how to properly deal relationships with men. I know what kind of woman my mother want me to be, but I don’t know who I really am any more.

Zhao Wang

Although Mrs. Dalloway and Septimus were so different, Mrs. Dalloway belonged to upper class and Septimus was a soldier who suffered a lot in the war. They never met each other but had similar situation. Clarissa could’t have love in her family, Richard couldn’t understand her and her daughter Elizabeth was not close to her. She couldn’t find her position in her family, she even couldn’t get use to the life of upper class, since she wasn’t invited to the party of Mrs. bruton. Mrs. Dalloway was unhappy and confused. She couldn’t get the life she ever wanted. So did Septimus. He didn’t love his wife. No one truly understood his pain, therefore he had mental disease and had to talk to his best friend who died in the war. They were both lonely and could not adjust themselves to accept the reality. When Mrs. Dalloway heard the news that Septimus committed suicide, she felt relived for him. That the way Mrs. Dalloway thought would run away from the undesirable reality.

Mrs. Dalloway didn’t love her husband yet his husband didn’t love her. Mrs. Dalloway couldn’t feel connected to her husband. She always loved another man, Peter, who was her lover when she was young. Also Richard considered Clarissa as a weird woman. They didn’t communicate with each other much. Apparently, they had an unhappy marriage. When Mrs. Dalloway saw Peter in the party, old feelings came back again. Different from her relationship with Richard, she and Peter understand each other. They could communicate without having a word. Peter knew what Clarissa really like. When he saw her acting like a lady in upper class, Peter was really angry. He didn’t want Clarissa ended her life like this. Mrs. Dolloway also knew Peter was the one fit for her, but she could no longer go away with him. Mrs. Dalloway was an independent and thoughtful woman. She and Peter could have long chat different from young people who only knew about entertainment.

Mrs. Dalloway had a good friend when she was young, they both have thoughts and would discuss the question like how to change the world. Sally Seton was a daring, active and independent girl just like Clarissa. But when time pass by, they both changed. Mrs. Dalloway could only talk about the boring things with other noblewomen. Sally was not that attractive girl any more. She married to a rich man and had five kids. They gave up their independent thought and turned themselves into person they would not admire.

Zhao Wang

Zhao left home in a rush, keep blaming herself why being so late every time. If only she could leave 10 minutes early, situation would be much different. On the way to the Q train station, she could hear children’s laugh on the playground. They are so adorable and joyful. Zhao glanced at their happy faces, her mood was brightened. Zhao was pretty lucky, she got on the train as soon as she arrived there. She never liked the train, they often delay or just stopped in the middle of two stations. Hope things would go fine, Zhao told herself, since she didn’t have any flexible time. Anyway, she got off the Q train at Lexington Av. 59 without a hitch and transferred to 6 train. On the 6 train, when Zhao finally felt relieved and tried to close her eyes for a while, she suddenly heard Lily’s voice. Lily was a homeless young woman. She told people her story without a pity voice and looked not in a truly bad condition. Zhao thought Lily was just a common beggar. Surprisingly, near half people on the train offered some money. Zhao knew people like helping others who were in protected class, but she wondered whether people could notice more about people who actually made an effort, like people who play instruments or sing. With such thought, Zhao noticed she should got off the train at 23 st. What a warm day, Zhao stepped in campus and started her class.

Zhao Wang

In Museum of Modern Art, I was attracted by a painting named Dance. Dance was an extraordinary work of Henri Matisse which was created in 1909. Actually, Henri Matisse was a really famous artist during 20^th century. But not many people can understand and appreciate his works. Matisse’s work could not be connected to the traditional linear perspective. Therefore, the spatial depth in his painting was not that obvious. Also, he used flat but bold colors in his painting. The method and the theory he had in painting made him a successful Fauvism. Although Fauvism only existed for approximately 4 years, it had a deep impact on the development of modern art.

Henri Matisse was born in 1869, and he was extremely attracted to paint when he was 21 years old. According to his own word, he was summoned. After that, he was no longer dominated by himself. It was painting which dominated him. Dance was one of the most successful and famous work of him. It was oil on canvas and intended to hang on a staircase landing at Shchukin’s Trubeskoy Palace. Matisse painted it quickly and gave it as a gift to Nelson A. Rockefeller in honor of Alfred H. Barr.

The painting describes five women figures holds each other’s hands and dance in a circle. There are only three colors used in this painting, blue, green and bronze. Matisse simplified all the structures, making his work more powerful. Blue represents the sky; green represents the ground; and bronze represents healthy, beauty and strength of these dancing women. He used these colors to express his subjective world. The whole painting created a harmonious and energetic atmosphere. From this painting, people are not constrained by the rules and serious structures. This work let us have free imagination and creative thinking. These women may dance around a bonfire to celebrate for a ceremony. They may just express their happiness for the long term friendship. Anyway, the cheerful and simple painting express energetic lives.

Art is subjective. Although the author created his work for certain purpose, different people see it differently. As far as I am concerned, this painting was painted in a particular time and it could connect with the war. It was created in the middle of World War I. Dance may include some best wishes for the world. The mother earth divided into five plates. During the World War I, people in the world fought each other. There were no mercy and sympathy among them. Maybe this passionate painting expresses Matisse’s sincerely hope that people in five plates can hold each other’s hand and do not start a war any more. Only in that way could people around the world have peaceful and happy lives.

Dance was apparently not a exquisite work. We can still see the rough black lines and irregular boundaries in this painting. However, these characters made Dance a masterpiece. Matisse was an spectacular innovator who made his painting with a sense of nature.

Zhao Wang

The Discourse on the Logic of Language is a poem written by Marlene Nourbese Phillip. It is a unique and creative poem. Philip talks about the importance of language, especially the role of English in her life. She wrote and I quoted “English is my mother tongue. English is my father tongue. A father tongue is a foreign language. Therefore English is a foreign language not a mother language.” The slaves only speak in English because they have to get orders from the slaveholders. In fact, they do not belong to the same society with people who actually use English as their language. Although English should be her mother tongue, it is actually her father tongue. Even Phillip didn’t say anything about her feeling; I could still feel a sense of sorrow and lonely. Language is so significant that we use language to build human connections.

Frederick Douglass recorded his life in his book, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass. He was a slave who suffered inhumanity treatment from the slaveholders. Besides, he was not allowed to learn languages. He knew the reason why they could not learn a language. When they study a language, they are able to write and read, which means they have the ability to acquire knowledge. Knowledge is the premise of thinking, when the slaves have the ability to think, they are going to fight for freedom. That was the last situation the slaveholders would like to see.

Therefore, there are some similarities between Discourse on the Logic of Language and Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass. Language is a tool for people to express their emotions and thoughts. Although Douglass passed away long time ago, people still feel the existence of him through his words. Meanwhile, we can feel strong emotion of Fillip when she read her poem. Through the weird sounds and structures, I know that language gives her the power to express herself.

Zhao Wang

1. New York Public Library

This is a library with a long history. I can feel a sense of dignify first moment I walk in. Whitman wrote in his poem that ” I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love, If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.” Books in there are what people left behind. We can understand who they are and what are their thoughts through their books. Words written in a book are much less than what author experienced. Besides, not everyone are qualified to publish a book. So books are not only the prove of the existence of  people but also what we can truly learn from. That’s why I like this library, a place to discover and learn.

2. Dutch Kills Playground

This is a playground I walk by everyday. I can always hear children’s laugh there. Parents watch their kids with a genuine smile.  In Song of Myself, Whitman wrote ” Born here of parents born here from parents the same, and their parents the same. I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin, Hoping to cease not till death.”  These children live here through several generations. The kids are living in their golden age, happy, sprightly and colorful. What’s more, they have a good health. This is truly important to everyone but we can hardly notice when we are young. Look at the happy faces in the playground, I know they are very lucky and blessed. Just like Whitman said, hoping to cease not till death.

3. Astoria Park

In Song of Myself, Whitman wrote ” I loafe and invite soul, I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.” I can express a same feeling when I walk in Astoria Park, especially the time of sunset. The bridge above the river together with the golden clouds consist a beautiful scenery. We all know the great work of nature, but we never try to really admire and love it. Since nature is a part of our life, we start to ignore the beauty of flowers, grass and a piece of leaf. Sometimes we can just stop and learn to appreciate what nature gives us.

Zhao Wang