If I were to describe myself it’d best start through the lens of others and how they view me. Through both middle and highschool I was never really a friend maker. People tended to gravitate toward me because to them, I was an approachable guy. My closest group of friends was culminated through basketball as everyday when possible we’d have outdoor recess. As friends by association they declared that I’d never really opened up to them or that I tended to alienate myself from the group. These comments from them were not entirely misguided as I did come off as cold every now and then. Around my sophomore year of highschool I realized that the time we spent together no longer held any meaning to me. Before when we would meet it’d be with a purpose; playing basketball at said place, exploring said part of the city, meeting said girls. Somewhere along the line they lost their sense of adventure and thus I lost my motivation to engage with them. Besides to me their personalities were rather twisted and these “friends” did not have my best interests even after I’d given them chance after another. I cast myself aside form the group and to me it was a necessary outcome for me to achieve happiness. Going to McDonald’s every day, losing money and talking of the same things over and over again wasn’t for me or anybody. I’ve always lived constantly judging myself and wondering if the position I’m in today would set me up for a better future. For that reason I choose the squid as the animal to represent me, like me it gets bored and begins thrill seeking either by learning a new skill or utilizing tools to aid its defenses. Similarly, like the squid I hope to be able to adapt and utilize new skills throughout life. These skills will serve to keep me safe from harm; understanding the world is my goal and any deception behind it. The ever evolving invertebrate cannot stay stagnant but rather in motion moving its a capacities forward and expanding its horizons. I dream of a world in which I have a place and have adapted to the point of general widom and have numerous skills. The vision is there but like the squid I’ve gotta apply myself first, a notion which is easier said than done.
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