Monthly Archives: March 2013

 

 

Dear Readers,

Firstly, the approach with this essay was to write a back-story about uncle, who was introduced in: “ How to Kill a Man Without a Plan?”

Secondly, I wanted expirement with tense shifts and with the vernacular of New York’s inner city ghettos.  However, these two elements may not allow for a smooth read or comprehension.

 

Lastly, I wanted to leave you wanting to know more about the circumstances and characters provided by this story.

 

What literary device would you like to see employed within this essay?

What could I have done better in allowing you to have a better connection with the characters and/or the time they placed into?

 

Thanks in advance for your patience and astute readership.

 

Respectfully,

 

Jay

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“Dam, it feels good mi armor, it does baby, and we are going to make some money off this: a real good sound to it.” My uncle said to his ex girlfriend. She was a Latina from the Bronx.

 

***

 

New York City, in front of a Brooklyn deli, the year is 1982.”Yo, playboy! You going to that new cold-fresh jam in the park?” said, by “Splash-1” a graffiti writer. “Nah, man, I am going to be home with my Tender-Roni, I just got off of work. But I know them cats from uptown be getting down, though. It’s their jam, right?”

 

“Yeah, homeboy, all the “Fly Girls” and “Fly Boys” will be in the spot- like that movie “Wildstyle!” spoke, by grafitti artist. His government name is Jose Rodriguez: aka, “Splash-1” to the Graffiti world, and to NYPD transit unit.

 

“Man, you are great at communicating with people. Why don’t you manage “Splash Stars? We got the best singers, breakers, and writers down with the posse! And we would pay you twenty percent of any money we earned!”

 

My uncle’s nickname name is “Solo Armor.” He is a hopeless romantic. He would often desperately descend into love with a young lady and quickly have his smashed. He was a kid in a rough Harlem ghetto, looking for love

 

Valerie an exotic beauty from Venezuela, my uncle’s former fiancé . She spoke with South American -Spanish accent and often would interweave Spanish words while she spoke English.

 

“Hola K-tal Armor? Where have you been?”  My uncle announces happily, ” In Brooklyn and guess what baby? I am the manager of the “Splash Stars.” Valerie did not like Hip Hop and the characters it attracts.

 

With in short order, “Solo Armor” managed to book a show for his clients at the “Fun Gallery” in Lower Manhattan. The Showing was a success.

 

“Splash Stars” became a lucrative venture – The kid from the ghetto moves to Riverdale, NY. Valerie is pleased that they moved out the slums. Six months of living in Riverdale transformed her soft spot of affection towards my uncle into a grey cement brick. “I am tired! F— cansado! Tu y Hip Hop, y the scribbles! You are never home for dinner, I am done! I found someone else, con mucho tiempo para mi,Yo neccesita tiempo for un relationship.”

 

My Uncle replied back, “Vee, quierdia, please no, we can go on a vacation! Things are slowing with my work. I got this house and the cars for us, me and you. I want to earn enough money so we can have a real future. Tu sabes? A real house: white fence, our children playing with their puppy, in the yard!”

 

She responded favorably and my uncle admits was the best sex of his life. The next week he arrives home late from a showing, the house is empty; nothing, nada, only one letter, tapped onto a wall, where their picture use to hang.  The letter had a childlike sketch of a red sad face, a drawing of black heart, and the words “Solo Armor” are green, Solo is underlined and Armor is circled!

 

What does it all mean?

 

“At that point man, I swore, I was going to be on top and wherever she goes, she would see me and my work! I pledge I was going to kill the game and she would never forget who she left! “

“Jay, this is not right! How can I ever do something so carelessly? I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I don’t even sleep anymore. I killed it all!” my uncle said with a grievous tone. He was not referring to taking another person’s life but my uncle spoke as if he was directly responsible for a homicide.

“How did you kill it all, uncle?” I asked. I knew he was an extremely successful music executive through 1980’s and early 2000’s. He instructed me to look at President Obama and to think of what brought him to the White House. “That’s someone who has ‘It’!” he stated. “What does he have?” I replied? He responded in a ministerial tone; “it’s clear he has a whole lot of things but he most definitely has a plan!”

It was November the 5th 2008. The day after President Obama was first elected. “I killed it all!” my uncle said. His expression was odd, but then I thought; what might one learn from a killer? There are so many reasons why one should never kill; but in my uncle’s line of work it was a hit after-hit after –hit! He believed he was invincible.

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I believe these changes produce a different tone in the essay because it forces the reader right into the drama. For example, the opening sentence in paragraph one introduces that there is a problem. Although, I appreciate the first draft because election of President Obama was a historic day internationally and it may prompt readers to continue on because of their personal connection to that day.

 

The second arrangement is useful but not as suspenseful compared to the original. Furthermore, being that it is a really short essay this paragraph adjustment does not sustain the bewilderment of the reader.

This exercise was useful because I was able to consider the different perspectives in pursuing my essay. It is definitely a tool that I would employ more often.  This device can also give anew view for those who suffer from writers block and it can motivate them to create from afresh perspective.