(Pic: Alex Billington)
I don’t watch many movies, so a passionate rant about horror flicks would go something like this. I hate them because they scare me, I hate being scared, the end. A rant about my love hate relationship with romantic comedy’s on the other hand may expose my need to be a culturally shallow, fairytale loving, air-head once in a while. However as I haven’t seen many horrors, action films, or sci-fi’s I have little choice than to expose myself with the later, so here goes.
We’re all familiar with the rom-com plot lines, deceptively slim and perfectly groomed woman, normally blonde 5 foot 7, think Cameron Diaz in There’s Something About Mary or Jennifer Aniston in The Break Up
(Hollywood exceptions made of course for Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts) have trouble finding ordinary (if that’s what you call Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler these days) but perfectly matched man. (Normally mousey brown haired, 6 foot plus).
They meet, often by accident. We go through 90 minutes of their ups and downs, mishaps and miss steps on the way to falling in love. Other partners, (Notting Hill, Hitch) even marriages, (27 dresses, The Wedding Planner or My Best Friends Wedding) maybe even a divorce or two (The Bounty Hunter, Sweet Home Alabama) and an unexpected baby (Knocked Up), but in the end, love blossoms in a medium to large sized city, maybe San Francisco, Miami or Chicago. Oh and let’s not forget, they often share a love of dogs (Marley & Me or Must Love Dogs) and eventually they work it out, have underscored, dimly lit, choreographed sex, and live happily ever after.
It’s like Disney for grown ups, and a feminists worse nightmare, they’re predictable and mind-numbingly cheesy. The woman always ends up looking like a super model and being validated by finally ‘getting her man’ the mans ordinariness it seems, always melts away under a steaming hot pile of charm and awkward romantic gestures. I’m intelligent, I should hate this crap, but yet I go back for more every time, it’s an escape from reality, and I’m secretly hoping that the new download (I’m not stupid enough to actually pay to see this BS at a real movie theatre) will be different, they aren’t, and sadly I’m a sucker again, so clearly, nor am I. There, rant over, please excuse me whilst I get back to reading Satre and enjoying a large glass of Chateaux Le Pin
http://www.imdb.com/list/Cylzo7wmyZI/
1 response so far ↓
Harlem Kat // Sep 18th 2012 at 10:34 pm
Love how you dissected the whole horror movie plot and showed how predictable and tired they are. Im just like you, they scare me and I ask myself “Self, if you don’t like being scared then why watch a scary movie”. I find that the movies of today don’t use much imagination like they did in the 80s and 90’s. Don’t think you’ll see anything like Freddie Kruegger or Jason ever again. They tried to remake those and they both suuucked. So we are officially team “NO SCARY MOVIES”
Leave a Comment