The Original Cano (Busy Bee)

I finally e-mailed myself my note about California.

So today I am returning from California. I came back from habitat for humanity and it was an amazing trip. Met a great group of friends and we even called ourselves T^2 Why you may ask? It’s because we arrived on Sunday and started to do work on Tuesday so we called ourselves do work (for habitat) and the others for don’t worry since Californians do not seem to worry. They seemed so chill and laid back that the atmosphere is so different that it made me realize to not take myself so seriously in life. It was a good thing too because even right before I left for California I was freaking out about papers, getting an internship abroad and my plane ticket for Austria. I need to actually double check that since I got the email about the OKAY program. I would need to leave the day after my birthday which sucks but hopefully I will have a good time no matter. Ahh speaking of internships, I got the deaf students internship but now I am torn because I want to go Brazil to learn Portuguese and have three languages under my belt. I have some thinking to do and hopefully God will guide me along the way.

Back to California, Sunday we spent the entire day to rent the car and then I believe to the restaurant (Mexican) where I had my strawberry margarita (yummy) and then we went to pick up Jules first and then Cathy and Wesley. It was annoying to rent the car because we didn’t have a twenty five year old driver so they charged us the fee for under twenty five as well as tourist fees. Monday we tried going somewhere but it was eight of us in a five person car. It was stuffed to say the least. We went to avis and they told us a different price but when we went to the company to pick up the car it was completely different. We got the car as that is what matters the most. We then left for Hollywood and it was cool. We got to walk on the walk of stars. We also saw the Hollywood sign which was pretty cool. We left to go to dinner with the habitat office and we went to the wrong site and we called to get directions. As a joke we all started running so we wouldn’t be late but then I tripped or took a wrong step and fell. I ripped my jeggings, scrapped my feet and have a cut on my hand and a bad injury on my left knee. Immediately we left and got to the office to get the first aid kit. Tuesday we started working on the house that is for two families. We built frames and walls for the closet and the bathroom, family room master bedroom. We even used the terms for building!
Later that day we went to Venice beach! It was so pretty! The beach was so soft and didn’t have that many rocks like the beaches in New York. Saw surfers and rocks. We saw the famous boardwalk and the skate park! We ate at a Chinese restaurant called Maos kitchen. We passed by the Santa Monica pier and finally showered that day! Wednesday we did more construction and we were invited to go to our supervisor’s house, Noah. He’s a character because he was born in Philly and went to school in Chicago where he met his girlfriend. We met her and played poker! He also is an AmeriCorps volunteer and is going to medical school soon at USC. Poker was fun I thought it was going to boring but it wasn’t surprisingly. One of the freshmen Tracy won! And the claims she didn’t know what she was doing but that is another story. We ate dinnert hat was provided by the ladies of  the church. Thursday we went to a new site called Lynwood. We helped dig holes so that we could plant the flowers, landscaping! At night we went to Griffith park and there are no words to describe the view and how beautiful this park is. The pictures don’t come close to what we experienced. Yesterday we continued digging and even start planting the flowers in the houses! And last night we went to a sushi place that was really good!
We didn’t follow the itinerary but it didn’t matter because I don’t regret anything we did.

June, June, June….. where did the time go? I was reading my last post and saw that I posted when Relay for Life was about to happen. That event was a GREAT one!! We raised above $80,000, the most the RFL time has ever raised. I think that our committee this year was pretty awesome, just saying.

That was beginning of April.. Spring Break came around and boy oh boy, did I have fun! DW^2 for life. California was an amazing experience. It was funny because I stayed up doing the itinerary and then when we got there for our introduction to Habitat for Humanity, where I fell really hard and have discoloration on my left knee and foot, we asked what they suggested and came up with a whole new itinerary! What they suggested was great because I could never had come up with that from the websites! We went to Venice Beach, played poker at our supervisor’s house, Griffith Park Observatory (where you can really see the Hollywood sign and an AMAZING view of Downtown L.A.), and finally a goodbye dinner at Little Japan. Habitat for Humanity, in of itself, is an amazing organization. The people that were there, or maybe it’s California in general, were so nice! When will I ever get to say again that I went on Spring Break and worked on a house?

When I came back from Spring Break, it was go time. I finally bought the ticket to go to Austria, for my semester abroad in the fall. I leave on my 21st birthday! I will be in the three week orientation program as well as the intensive German language course. It should be fun and exciting! I am psyched to go to Austria and spend my time over there as well.

Right before I left to go to California, I found out that the traineeship that I first applied to, in India, was interested in me. I was crazy enough to bring it up to my parents only to hear, ” We’ll talk about it when you come back.” When I came back, the first question on my mind was, “What are your thoughts about me going to India for the summer?”  They were REALLY hesitant at first and asked a lot of questions, which were then answered by my TN Manager in India. I, myself, was wondering, “What am I doing? India, seriously? Are you crazy?!” I just kept reminding myself though that the traineeship that I am applying for is so worth going to India for: working with deaf and mute kids. Not only am I going to experience the culture of India but I also get to work with kids; this was an opportunity I couldn’t refuse. I asked more and more questions and finally bought my ticket in the middle of May to go to India. I couldn’t be more excited.

Finals were a blur. I guess I did an okay job at them but I know I could have possibly done so much more. I paid a lot more attention than I ever did before because I took two of my major classes (exciting!)

Today, I leave for India. I write this blog as I am at work, eating my yogurt. This past month has been a blur to be honest. I can’t believe that just ten days ago was Commencement. It seems like yesterday, I was seeing Cathy graduate along with Shaif, Majinder, Devangi and so many more. It’s really impressive to see how they have worked that it motivates me to do justice as well.

One of the things I am worried about this summer is: FOMO. Guess what this means? FOMO also known as the Fear of Missing Out. I have this high anxiety that in the summer, I’ll be missing major hangouts with friends and family. First off, let’s be honest here, I don’t really party. I haven’t since I entered college so why would I party in the summer THIS YEAR? What makes this year different from all the rest of the years? Yes, I may be known to not miss a party at Baruch but summers and the weekends are for me to rest! I usually have always worked over the summer and claim that I want to go party but honestly, I really don’t. I’m not the outgoing type and unless I know people te that are going for sure or it’s planned, then I don’t go. Yes, I would like to call myself adventurous since I am going to India in oh about a couple of hours and Austria for close to 5 months but I need stability in my life. I guess I wouldn’t considering traveling adventurous which is why I stay in one place at a time, whether it’s for five days to three weeks. Second of all, my cousin is pregnant and I would hate to miss the baby shower and everything that goes along with the pregnancy. I was a bridesmaid in the wedding and now that I am older and have gained a lot more experience with other things, I still seem fascinated about how life just moves on and I can’t do anything about it.

The reason why I’m nervous for India is because I know I’m going to have a support system but I will miss my friends. Yes, I will make friends over there and will have a family over there but I’ve learned about culture shock, seriously. I had to do several projects about them and not just through work/study abroad orientations. It’s not a fun thing to go through but I must accept why I am going. I’ll just remember my photos and printed out so many!! 10 pages worth front and back!! Okay I must go and continue working

P.S. I am so not ready to say goodbye yet =(

Hi Everyone,

To those who have read this, a lot has been happening. Let’s see where I left off. I, last wrote in November, which is crazy because I thought I wrote about my vacation but I guess I didn’t. Both of my Freshman Seminar class ended well. No problems there, thankfully!!

November, November- What happened in November? Thanksgiving happened and I spoke to my cousin who was in Melbourne, Austria for work, the previous month. The conversation I had with him made me realize that I wanted to study abroad in Austria. He had a couple of points to make, one of them being that if I studied abroad, it would need to be a country that I could see myself be comfortable living in. The second was that I shouldn’t go to Thailand because I can just go there for the beaches and travel there another time. The only reason why I wanted to go to Thailand because it seems exotic and I’ve never been to Asia. Thailand will have to wait because I applied to go to Austria, which is as you may or may not know, in Central Europe. I am excited!! I just need to get accepted and start working on the actual leaving part.

December: Lovely December…. The end of finals, the end of the semester, the end of a new year. December from what I can recall what a good time. I didn’t anyone presents because I told them in advanced that I am saving for my study abroad so I will get them presents from Austria.

January: This was not a favorite time of mine. I took a class that challenged me to my core. It was a lot of reading practically a reading once every class, and that class met everyday, Monday to Friday from 9 to 12, if I recall correctly. i worked hard at that class, didn’t sleep as much as I wanted to and got an okay grade for it.

February: Valentine’s Day, start of classes (again)…. I was getting into the hang of being positive until Valentine’s Day. Seeing all the couple out in the open just reminded me that I am yet still single. I am proud to be single but I was a grouch that day. My mother was leaving to see her sister for two weeks and honest to goodness I was sad. It wasn’t a good day to begin with and then the actual two weeks without her made me realize how much I am really going to miss my family when I go study abroad. I think this feeling was because I was mostly by myself when I was home. I am not used to that feeling of loneliness especially on weekends. I think I might need a roommate to study abroad. Even though, I have my own room, I used to share a room with my older brother from when I was born until a couple of months before I turned 13. 12 years with sharing your entire life with someone, “sharing” the remote control of the television, sharing secrets about people at school. I think that is what I like, being able to share without actually sharing, if that makes sense. I like for someone to know that something is wrong with me without actually stating or trying to get out of me, “How was your day?” Anything, really.

March: Change is coming and it’s not just the time change nor is it the season changing. Change: I finally heard back from the study abroad office, only to hear that my faculty hadn’t submitted his recommendation. I was freaking out. I thought he had already done it, what’s going to happen if I don’t go…etc. Obviously, I am still going to study abroad because I have a spot now, but looking back on it, it was a rough week waiting to get my professor to hand in his recommendation. Another change that happened was I got accepted to get matched for an internship abroad. I am currently applying to countries and hopefully will get a response from my favorite listing. I am crossing my fingers!

April: Today is the first of April and I am so excited! Today is Relay for Life at my college and I am so pumped up. The Relay for Life Committee came together and I am so glad that I am a part of it. I am on the Entertainment Committee, where I need to get bands to come and play, and I also made the schedule of games that went well last year. It was a hectic time especially because changes that needed to be made but hopefully everything will come together.

Wait for updates soon about everything!

To anyone who reads my blog:
I just want to say that

It is officially October 31st, and in the spirit of Halloween I shall tell a scary story.
I once knew a girl who loved her family until her last days of life. Her name does not matter but ever since she was a little girl, she looked up to her daddy. Her daddy was the best person that she could ever have imagined. Even though her daddy used to work all the time and she even used to to stay up late to see a glance at him, he was still the best person that she knew in her life. Around the age of ten, he told her that he would no longer be working long hours but that he would be sticking around longer and she would get to see him for several periods of time. She didn’t understand until later when she noticed that she was not going to the school cafeteria to eat lunch anymore but she was going home to eat lunch. She would spend an hour every day eating lunch with her brother and father and she was in love.
It wasn’t until a man had masturbated in front of her and her friend that she really realized how much she loved her father. She needed him to just say everything was going to be fine, it was going to be okay.
Years later, he supported her when she had a boyfriend and supported her when they broke up. He was there for her through everything and now she hears that he needs surgery.

She dies a little inside but doesn’t show it until she hears that he needs the surgery until he is crying in unbearable pain. He gets the surgery but she does not recover from her broke heart.

So it’s about the sixth week of classes and midterms and finals are upon us. Instead of studying like I should be doing, I am reading emails, seeing what I am supposed to be doing for tomorrow and just pretty much procrastinating. This is not what a good student should be doing. Advice: do not be like me, where you put pretty much everything and everyone before yourself.
I had class today where my Freshman Seminar class did their monologues: about the transition from high school to college. Honestly, I don’t think any of them took me seriously when this assignment was given(not by me, it’s a mandatory assignment by the Department). This is a way to take out their frustration to express what they truly feel and I don’t know if it was because of their lack of presentation skills but I just did not get the feeling that they wanted to do this assignment. If I was them, I would have done something creative and pour my heart out because it is a rough time; going through that transition is tough and I’m not going to lie second semester was harder for me anyways.

That week passed and now onto WALKS and MIDTERMS and CASES! OH MY!
Walks: I have two walks this week, one is technically later on tonight, Light the Night and the other is MSABC(Making Strides against Breast Cancer). I can’t make it to either one :-(. Light the Night is during my classes and I work in the Career Center until 7pm and by the time I get to South Street Seaport, the walk will probably have ended.
I teach Sunday school at 8:30 AM. Yeah, try hearing that since weekends are my only days to rest. It’s okay though since I get out at 10:00 am and my day does not go to waste. I have to go to TMLA Open House on Sunday at 2:00 since Marie, one of my dad’s fellow deacon brother’s daughter, is thinking about going there. Did I have this impact on Marie? I remember when she was so little and it was, I believe only 6 years ago that I met her. Now she’s in 7th grade and her sister, Grace. She was just a newborn when my family had met her and now…. she’s a toddler who has autism. Who would have guessed that that precious little thing that was in my arms, while I rocked her, would have ended up with autism. I did see a HUGE improvement with her from last summer to this summer. I am so proud of Grace; she’s gotten more interactive and I understand her words now. She still has trouble every now and then but she is getting help.

Okay so it’s 1:36 AM and i should get going since I have Marketing midterm tomorrow in the afternoon.

I remember around this time of year last year, I was anxious, nervous and almost had a breakdown. Why may you ask? Well around this time last year, I had received two acceptance letters for jobs working as a Freshman Seminar Peer Mentor and as a Peer for Career. This was hitting me hard because I would be working in the fall at my part-time job as well. The situation was completely surreal since in my first year of college, I had not participated in school. I would go to my classes, work, and go home. It was nice to have a change in my life, an exciting change. There were many expectations on my part that semester but thankfully, I got through it. At the end of the semester, I had received my grades and surprised myself since all that time management did not affect my grades. However, it did affect my sleeping habits. I would sleep approximately 5 to 6 hours daily on a weekday and close to 12 hours on weekends. I blame it on late night web chats and phone calls from my boyfriend but it was my responsibility and duty to say no as well.

Now last semester, I did not teach Freshman Seminar but instead took on a leadership role as an event coordinator for Golden Key International Honour Society. This semester, I have Peers for Careers, Freshman Seminar Peer Mentor, Vice President of Events (of Golden Key), a part-time job and 5 classes (one of which is a major class). I am happy to say that I am excited. This shall be another test. I learned that I could not control every single part of my life and leave things to the last moment; things have to overlap and sometimes let spontaneous things happen.

One can have in college: sleep, good grades, and a social life. In college, one has to choose two things that are most important to them. In my first year of college, I had half of grades, half of a social life, and good sleep. I say half because in my second semester my grades went down and my social life involved not much of anything to be honest. In my second year of college, as I stated before, I did not have sleep but I did have the grades and my social life improved.

This year, I hope to balance everything. I saw this picture and thought it was funny.

On that note, I wish you all a happy Friday!

It has a been a very long time since I have been on this blog. A lot has happened since I was here. My brother graduated from college!! I got my grades back from the Spring semester and I did pretty well so I am glad about that. I got my certificate from the GSC Program and got an award as well. I got into Zicklin and into International Business!! I finally can say that I am officially an International Business major. This is exciting because now I can dive into my major classes and enjoy them.

I should be ecstatic about my life right now: I have two days off from work, one of them, I volunteer at the Career Center at school, reviewing resumes, doing projects, such as creating topics for what we, the Peers, can write about in the fall for the school newspaper. I have work three times a week and I have my weekends off as well.
Now why am I not happy or ecstatic? Recently, on my mother’s birthday, my boyfriend and I of two years broke up. Boo hoo right?! The only thing is that I feel more relieved than ever. I should be depressed/crying my eyes out but I’m not. The week before our break-up I was crying but for a different reason, which brings me to my topic: Are we ever good enough for ourselves?

We, I’m referring to girls but can relate to guys as well, also say “I’m never good enough for this person because such and such a reason…” I say you are good enough. You do not have to classify yourself as not good enough because one person “rejects.” Why should it matter their reasoning? You should now know by now, that the people who love you, like friends and family, will always be there to support you and there can be a dozens of people saying you are good enough, but that one person who means the world to you/ you have a crush on “rejects” you, you suddenly are never good enough? I think this is a bunch of baloney.

This was not the case for me. My boyfriend, now ex, never ever stated that I wasn’t good enough for him. In fact he stated several times that I deserved better than him because he thought himself that he wasn’t good enough for me. Let’s leave the fact that he goes to a private college and I go to CUNY, which in of itself says it’s bad but I for one think that my education is worth the same if not more than a private institution because I get my education for $2,300 a semester. No, it was his mother who does not, til this day, this I am good enough for her son. She was in control of our relationship and this just boggled my mind because it was not fair for the both of us. I had a feeling, however, because I went to a CUNY school that I was below her son.

Let’s face it: all of us wanted to go or still wants to go to a private institution but the reality of loans and being in debt for a long time does not sound appealing to me, since I get my education paid for my parents, which I am grateful for. My reality was that I was offered financial aid and scholarship money but still would have to pay 14,000 a year, which may not sound much but add room and board which is approximately 10,000 a year plus books, which is about $1200 a year  and now times everything by four which is about $100,000 in debt by the time I’m 22. This was not going to happen to me. I rather wait and save that money for graduate school.

Of course, she never allowed me to explain that because she never took the time to actually get to know me. I invited her through her son to have dinner with my family and she refused to have this dinner. I, on the other hand, allowed her to think I was not good enough for her son. It was up until I called him and told him/ mutually decided that we were calling it off that I finally felt free of this woman. I finally have everything I wanted but I still wanted to know why he didn’t fight for me, maybe I wasn’t good enough for him.

It’s ironic because I saw him on Monday, and he told me that his mother thought that I would be kicking and screaming to take him back. It’s not like that whatsoever. I realized very quickly that I was tired of being hurt by him no mater how much I said I loved him, I was worth it. I am good enough.

A little known fact about me: I am a Broadway Diva. It is very ironic that one of my close friends works for the Theater Development Fund, which provides tickets to Broadway shows at a lower cost. My two favorite shows: Rent and Wicked. I fell in love with Rent and saw this play when it was in its last season. I saw Wicked twice. I think I watched Wicked because when it opened back in 2003, my eighth grade teacher, who works for the Booth Theater (Next to Normal is playing there and was directed by the same director as Rent), suggested that we go and see the show. At that time, Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenoweth (currently in Promises, Promises) were the lead females role playing Elphaba and Glinda, respectively. The show was sold out. We watched instead Fiddler on the Roof, with Alfred Molina(who now is in Red and I was offered to watch Red but unfortunately I did not see it). I bring this up because on my Pandora a song called Finale B is playing and I absolutely love it. I have my Broadway music under Glee Music and decided to add along with it music from Rent and Wicked. I wanted to put up some lyrics but then I was taken somewhere else. I wanted to heard the song then I remember that someone recommended this website. It is a website where you can look up a song and it can be played for you. The good thing about it is that it is totally legal too!

Okay, well I have to go back to work. I’ll update you on Sunday with what happened during the week and my schedule for next week. Until then.

In my mind, it still is May 8th. Happy Mother’s Day to all those who are mothers.

I plan on writing every day on this blog for the entire summer. Let’s see how long I can keep this promise. Currently, I am trying to write all the things that I need to do for my portfolio to obtain my Global Student Certificate. For more information on this program, click here. 

I also am trying to figure out what I have to do this week. Let me write out what I have to do/attend this week.
Tonight: Finish the GSC papers and finish reading the book that I chose to do a book review on. Also write on the Management Discussion Board.
Tomorrow: During the morning, read for Political Science class. During the subway, on the way to work, finish reading the book and try to start on that book review. Attend the dinner for Spanish Class and finish the book review. Try and register for classes!
Tuesday: Attend appointments, the international business panel(which I helped on) and buy things for my supervisor, since it’s my last supervision with her. Read the One Minute Manager during the subway rides from appointments.
Wednesday: Write book review for the One Minute Manager while traveling to and from work. Start and/or finish the last accounting homework.
Thursday: Attend the GSC Awards Ceremony, Golden Key’s Internal Officer Party(I get to find out if I got an upper level position) and SCDC’s End of the Year Party, and help out with the Internship Seminar.
Friday: Work from 9 to 5. Finally get to relax on Friday night(attending Baruch Bash)
Saturday: Rewrite the book review for & effective habits. Start studying for finals: Spanish on Monday and Management on Thursday.
Sunday: Teach Sunday School and continue to study for finals.
During the week: try and find a time where I can see the boyfriend and/or friends.

Please vote for Baruch in Pepsi’s Refresh Project. It’s a great way to be environmentally friendly: http://www.refresheverything.com/baruchrecycles

That’s it for now. I shall get back to writing for GSC and my discussion board. Until next time.