My developing INTRODUCTION

Introduction:

1. hook- The girl looks in the mirror, but she cannot see a person behind the disgusting creature staring back at her. It is ugly and fat and miserable. It’s eyes are crying, like hers, because there is no way she can look at herself and not be nauseated by the hatred that overcomes her, every time. She is like Jekyll and Hyde; with her friends, she is the life of the party, the fun one. Alone, she stuffs her face with food to fill the void in her heart, and then she feels even emptier and more worthless than she did before she started.

She knows her behavior is abnormal, and every time she does it, she wishes she hadn’t. So she goes online to help her deal with her problems. She reads tips on overcoming her compulsive eating habits and bulimic tendencies. She reads menus she should stick to, and foods she should avoid, and she tries her best. But she does not realize that she will fail. Because she needs real, professional help that focuses on her individual life situation.

2.background- This girl is like one out of every five in college today.

Have you ever researched symptoms that you have and come away from the internet with a certainty of exactly what ails you? Chances are you have, because the majority of people have. If they decide that they need to see a doctor, they walk into the office with all sorts of preconceived notions that are usually inaccurate. And sometimes they decide that they don’t need a doctor’s attention after all, even if they really do.

3.motive- It is true that doctors are forced to be on the top of their game at all times, brushed up on the latest medical fads, treatments, drugs, and treatments. When a patient walks in with a million questions and ideas of his own, a doctor needs to be able to answer them and understand all of the relevant details. But at the same time, is it good for people to worry themselves or calm themselves based on their own research, which they do not really understand? Is it good for people to use self-help sites instead of going to therapy and getting the help that they need?

Maybe it is good for people with minor psychological issues or physical problems, because they can know what to do without needing to go to the doctor. But not for people who have real issues, and there is no way of knowing that without asking.

4.thesis- The many years that doctors and psychologists spend in school are so that they can look at their patient and know whats going on. There is no way for a person to diagnose himself properly without a thorough knowledge of the body, as well as hundreds of other factors that come into account when a treatment plan is formulated. It is extremely dangerous for people to rely on the web as a medical tool, because they can make mistakes. And they can hurt themselves, whether it be mentally or physically.

 

What do you guys think?? What can I/ should I change?