It is what it is.  What will be, will be.  This is the theme of a movie I recently watched titled The 100 Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window And Disappeared.  It’s about a 100 year-old man who simply accepts what is, no matter how bizarre, or how unfortunate things seem, they always lead him to his next steps.  He’s not indifferent, he is pro-active, but realizes he doesn’t have control over everything that life presents him.  Sometimes exciting, sometimes troubling and that is how he has been living his life since he was a young boy.

I started thinking about this and how it relates to my experience with social media and the role it plays in my life.  Facebook was around for a while before I got to know it.  I can’t say I have known it since its inception.  But I can say that we have grown to have quite the relationship with one another. We have evolved.  We had a love-hate relationship, but have eventually found a way to live in peace together.  At first, social media did not empower me or have a positive impact on my life.  It didn’t enable me, until I found a way to break the chain and walk hand-in-hand with it.

Learning

It all goes back to four years ago when I opened my first social media account on Facebook.  It was almost as exciting as my first kiss.  Eww, no.  Maybe my third or fourth kiss.  Then in 2014 I got my first smartphone.  I know.  I was a late bloomer.  One of the last of our kind to use a flip-phone (although I think a few remain).  Social media and I reached new heights with my latest addition of technology.   We started spending more and more time together. I started posting on Facebook all the time.  I went to bed late and woke up tired.  I swore I would never be one of those people that texted instead of called.  I cherished those phone calls.  I swore that I would not stay up past midnight watching mindless YouTube videos.  But the promises to myself just got broken.  I was starting to experience what is known as “digital heroin.” Why was this happening?  I was no longer okay with this.

Finding Balance

Then one day I just climbed out the virtual window and disappeared from the virtual world.  I deleted my Facebook account and promised to spend my time with more fulfilling activities.  I realized my resistance to this movement was pointless.  I needed to evolve and I needed to do it a way that social media and I could be friends.  I needed to find a balance that worked for me. 

Everyone is different, and everyone’s circumstance is different.  The key is to find what works.  I wanted to find a way to include social media as part of my life without the digital addiction.  I decided to give social media a second chance.  This time I had a plan.

After realizing that this technology is playing me and that it is designed to keep me hostage, I decided to set some of my own ground rules, disable alerts and certain apps.  Julia Edelstein wrote her article on Realsimple.com simple steps to Break Free From Your Social Media Addiction.  It is a great place to read about suggestions on how to use social media responsibly.

Now that I got that under control and am no longer social media’s play thing, I can start to use it to MY advantage.

Empowering

Social media can be empowering, especially for women, if used correctly.  Ladies, social media is on our side. The NY Times published an article about a new dating app called Bumble, that puts women in control.  Boys, “bee nice.”  It is referred to as “feminist Tinder” and it lets women be the hunters, not the hunted.  This app is a prime example of how social media can empower women to be more in control of their lives.  Social media allows women to voice their opinion and come together to take a stand on women’s rights issues. The Guardian published a great article titled 8 ways digital is empowering women. It covers topics such as getting girls in STEM through online funding platforms and raising awareness of gender stereotyping by running targeted campaigns via social media, video and blogging.

As a working mother of two young monsters, I couldn’t need this more (not the dating app, the empowerment!!)  There are endless apps that make my life easier and get things done faster so I can be more in control.  I can connect with women and voice my opinion.  Using social media in this way makes me feel good.  Yes, there is an adjustment period.  Yes, it can be exciting and sometimes troubling to have social media.  Yes, I still check my Facebook page first thing when I wake up in the morning. But hey; It is what it is and what will be will be.

Social media is here to stay.  It is not a trend, it is part of our culture.  Make sure you have your plan on how to use it.  If you don’t participate in the social media movement, it’s okay.  You’ll just be like the 100 year-old man that climbed out the virtual window and disappeared.