Persuasions: Identities, Stereotypes, & Fights

When I first came to Baruch I thought that it would be hard to meet new friends because I didn’t know anyone. Being in an LC made a big difference because it gave me an opportunity to build a friendship with the people in my LC. When I met Anna Deng, we added each other on Facebook and realized we had mutual friends. Anna went to Stuyvesant High School and I went to Susan E.Wagner in Staten Island. We came to Baruch from two totally different boroughs and yet we managed to have friends in common. Today, I had dinner with quite a few of Anna’s friends from many different Colleges. One particular girl named June went to Barnard College. When we started talking, we realized that we had a mutual friend named Veronica. Veronica went to high school with me and now also attends Barnard College. It turns out that Veronica lives on the same dorm floor as June. Again, I just met June and yet we had a mutual friend. I think it’s amazing how we live in such a small yet big world.

Okay so initially I didn’t know what I wanted to write about. So I wrote made a list of the things that were currently on my mind, and they were as follows: shopping, school, friends coming back from college!, work, and the weather. I eenie meanie miny mo-ed and it was weather! But then I couldn’t really think of anything to say about the weather besides it being absolutely wonderful today sooooo I picked shopping instead of any of the other ones because those all made me upset for one reason or another.

I think I’ve been shopping too much lately. My bank account is in the double digits and that means bad bad bad. !!! I honestly don’t need any more material things at the moment. Except for rainboots, I’m still looking! But the temptation is always there, and I always give in! I try to be good but I’m not doing very well. It’s not even that shopping makes me that happy, even though I like getting the package in the mail, and I like new things. Plus sometimes it’s frustrating when there’s no sizes left, or when you just want EVERYTHING. Also, I hate paying for shipping. It just kills it. How can some sites offer free shipping all the time and others not?! And usually I just impulse buy and not like it at home. It’s such a hassle to return things, online and in stores! Okay actually I think I just need a new hobby. Or I should probably be worrying about more important things. Hm.

This past week, we had a blog due for our Freshman Seminar class. In the blog, we were supposed to answer the question, “Who do you think you are?” I think this is an extremely hard question to answer, at least for myself or it could just be that I’m over thinking it.

I really don’t know who I am. I’m not sure what I want and I don’t know where I’m going. I think college is the time when you actually figure all this out, or at least try to. I’m looking forward to these four years because I hope that by the end of it, I will be able to tell people who I think I am.
I’ve been very hard on myself lately; comparing myself to others and wondering why my drive doesn’t seem as strong as theirs when really, I’m doing just fine. I’m a full time student just trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and I wish I didn’t feel the need to justify that. These next four years are supposed to be a time when I will figure out where I am, where I want to be and where I’m actually headed. Hopefully transferring to a new school will help me out with this.

After thinking about it for a long time and complaining endlessly about what I should do, I finally decided to transfer to Geneseo. I’m excited but I’m more nervous and scared because I don’t know if I will be able to survive in the middle of nowhere with farm animals. Also I’m scared that I won’t be able to fit in or make friends easily. I will be leaving around January 12th or 13th and I’m planning to come back on the 22nd for my sister’s 18th birthday. I have pretty much everything figured out..at least I hope I do! haha. I know that I’m going to miss everyone and the city so much, but I don’t want to regret not transferring. I’ve been frustrated and moody all week because I had to make the decision soon and tell my parents, I can’t be indecisive with my parents like I was with my friends.