Oskar’s grandfather writes to his unborn son that he would have stayed if he could live more than one life. The reason he needed to leave him and his mother behind is because he only gets to live one life and that was not the life he wanted. The fact that each person lives only one life seems obvious, but it almost feels like its not enough. Most people go through life not realizing how much of the world they left unlearned and undiscovered. Although I do not approve of Oskar’s grandfather leaving his pregnant wife, I understand that he could not continue living a unauthentic life. Most people do not seek out the life they were meant to live and instead live one that is filled regret and “what ifs?” We see this with A.R. Black (the old man that lives in Oskar’s building). He traveled to over 100 countries and fought in many wars, however he realized all he ever needed was his wife. A.R. crosses out ‘war’ on his card and writes ‘husband’ only later in his life when he finally realizes what he was missing.
