“All the women in my family wanted me to become a black male for the same reason: they wanted to define themselves against me.”

Ever since childhood, Als liked to dress and act more feminine, which his mother and his siblings were not too fond of.  His whole life, he felt like he never belonged anywhere. He grew up in a mainly female household as the only male and that in and of itself was already a challenge. Throw into the mix his gender identity and it makes for a childhood full of problems. His family wanted him to become the typical strong male figure in the family, which he had little interest in becoming.

“I avoided explaining that when I sat in parked cars with one man and then another, I felt closer to her experience of the world than I ever did in her actual presence.”

Because his mom is so closed off about every aspect of her life, Als had no way to know what his mom felt like when she grew up. All he knew was that she got married once and then left him to care for her children. Him essentially hooking up with multiple men out of lust can be compared to the fact that his mother was so isolated and did whatever she wanted without letting anyone know.