— Anonymous
In this day and age where a lot of actions and behaviors are based upon public opinion, people doings starts to get very premeditated. Having to always deal with the thought that people may or may not judge the things that have been done can cause a rift in your “everyday norm”. Finding a sort of balance to determine what can and can not be done in certain environment takes a lot of training and preparation.
Majority of the behavior that is done is, sometimes, a replication of what your parents/household has imbedded into what you believe is appropriate. Not knowing that others may not believe that the actions and/or behavior that is being done is something that society is not necessarily use to, people will start to think little of you; People will be ecstatic to take the opportunity to make fun of these actions. In a short story titled, “The Toughest Indian In the World”, the narrator, while growing up, continues to be trained by his father to beware of white people. “Love or hate you, white people will shoot you in the heart. Even after all these years, they’ll still smell the salmon on you, the dead salmon, and that will make white people dangerous.” At first, I wasn’t quite sure exactly where the author was coming from with salmon and white people in this explanation, but later in the story it was brought up again which clarified a lot. After uncomfortably having sex with a man, the narrator expresses his next actions. “I locked the door behind me and stood there in the dark. I smelled like salmon.” Salmon, which is a type of fish was described as a sort of guilt that other around will see from you because of the behavior/actions that you have now done. White people, is expressed throughout the story as people that will be the ones that will shame you for the actions that you have committed. His father was trying to teach him that he should not let people see him while he is low; Being able to make others look down upon you should never happen because people will take that and try to embarrass you for the rest of your life.
Having to deal with school and home can be hard because being able to adapt to both environment can take a lot for someone. Being knowledgable about what my parents have taught how to carry myself can and will be very different from how others act in public. Going to a High School in the South Bronx, which is far from my home, where I knew hadn’t know anyone prior from entering was hard because I was unsure exactly how I would come across to everyone, and how i’ll be able to modify my behavior for other likeliness. I was always taught that I shouldn’t give people anything to talk about. In doing that. In doing this I believed that this meant I should hold myself to a certain standard which, I guess, came off kind of “better than” to others that were attending my school. This caused to me to not really understand exactly where I must fit in, because this is a type of behavior that i’ve always had. The constant banter and gossip about made me want to leave several times but I felt like if I was able to get through this long four year experience, I will be able to get through anything. Now having that experience in my past i’m grateful because not only was a granted Valedictorian of my class, I have learned that in order to be successful, being me is the best thing that I can do.
Deciding whether or not your behavior or actions should be carried around with you should not be something that has to determined to please others. Finding the right balance can be a very good trait to have but the lack of ability to do this shouldn’t be shamed upon. Everyone has to be equally able to live in their truth where their communities can learn to appreciate their presence.
