—Anonymous
The most absurd text I have read so far this semester is the “Endgame”. It’s really difficult to understand because it’s my first time to read a drama script in English and it’s super illogical. The characters keep repeating same or similar words and behaviors. When the first time I read this text, I felt confused and bored, because the whole story was monotonous. The whole script is supported by several characters and a dark room. Compared to the actions, their words are relatively easier to understand, because there are questions and answers at least, but their actions are just repeated once and once again without any sense which made me feel uncomfortable. To be honest, this whole text, including every word, was challenging me when I read it. However, I still finish reading this text after eating some sweet to mitigate the bad feelings. The moment I found it meaningful was when I finished watching the dramatic performance of Endgame. The performance visualized the action of the characters and make it more clownish and scarier. The difference between “movable” and “unmovable” became clearer. Hamm sat on the chair and could only speak to give order while Clove could move around in the room. In the beginning, I thought Clov was pitiful and hopeless because he was abused by Hamm and the only thing he could do was to obey Hamm’s order. However, when I started to reread the whole story, things got different. There are three kinds of people. The first kind is Clov, who can both move and speak. The second kind is Hamm, who can only speak but is not able to move. The last kind is Nell and Nagg, who can neither speak nor move. Hamm was always sitting in the center of the room like a king while Colv moved around in the room and behaved like a menial. However, that is not the fact. Clov said he wanted to leave and threatened Hamm. As what Hamm said, he could not leave Clov. d threatened Hamm. As what Hamm said, he could not leave Clov. If Hamm was like a king, Clov was like a general who was armed. The king gave his order to the general, but he couldn’t completely control his general because the army was led by the general. Clov learned how to be perfunctory and gave irrelevant answer, and this was one reason why this play seemed dramatic and illogical. Clov was the most powerful individual in this room even though he seemed the most inferior. Clov was clever because he knew he just needed to obey in mouth and said something to show his helpless, but when he met something significant, he would change the situation quickly since he was the only movable person. He was not only a chess piece, but also one player before the chessboard. Never think that the most powerful man in appearance is the truly strongest man. Look inside, consider about their nature, and find the chess player. This play challenged me and let me to understand it though kinds of information sources. I read the play, watched the performance, and tried to learn about its author, Beckett. Because I could not understand at the first time when I read it, I had to read it once and once again and try to understand it by watching the play. As a result, I have a deeper understanding about this play and even my own life. I like to link the stories with my own experience and think more. This makes my thoughts more useful and insightful. Therefore, after reading this text, I started to think about a question. Am I a chess piece or a chess player? I do not know. Maybe the time will reveal that.
