The influence we have on others is tremendous in that we can use it in both positive and negative ways. The influence we wield has a butterfly effect. The butterfly effect is the concept that a seemingly insignificant action or change can have a massive effect in other areas or throughout the world. When Vanessa Bohns was a graduate student at Columbia University, she was working on a study and would approach strangers in Penn Station and ask them to fill out a questionnaire. She was uncomfortable during her test because she felt really uneasy entering into someone’s space, disrupting them, and telling them to stop what they were doing and do what she wanted them to do. “Why was it so difficult to achieve this?” she wondered. She did it because she knew she would be shunned by others, and rejection hurts. However, she gained confidence when she saw that the majority of people responded yes. We can see that other people had a significant impact on Bohns, even if it was inconsequential to them. She had her doubts since she expected people to say no, but after witnessing how many people wanted to be a part of her research, she concluded it wasn’t difficult to complete the test. We always behave on the basis of how the other person would react when we speak or associate with them.

My boyfriend is the most important person in my life, yet I constantly feel insufficient to him. Even though I can’t see it, he constantly reminds me of how perfect I am. In the three months I’ve been with him, I’ve developed more confidence than I have in my whole life. He has no clue how much of an impact he has on me when he says the things I want to hear, even if it’s only “I’m proud of you” or “How was your day?”. He gives me this sense of worth that I have always struggled to feel.