The podcast ‘The Influence You Have’ by Hidden Brain follows the controversial experiments of Stanley Milgram. It recreates the student-teacher experiment, allowing us to listen in to the thoughts of not only the volunteers but also the conductors. This is crucial to the main claim that the podcast makes of how we often undermine the impact that we have on others because it gives the listeners a chance to finally see two sides of a situation. When analyzing the student-teacher experiment, normally most people put themselves in the shoes of the teacher yet not the conductor. According to an experiment done by Vanessa Boyle, she discovered that people generally imagine rejection and failure when met with a task that involves asking others to do something for them, no matter how minuscule the favor is. She made herself and several people go out and ask strangers for small favors. Many either failed to do so or were extremely surprised that anyone agreed to it at all. We don’t realize our own position and how it affects another person. Thus, that is why generally people don’t tend to project themselves onto the conductor, believing that they would be rejected immediately, despite their position of power. In addition to that, it proved how easily one will comply with certain actions if supposedly inferior to a person, even if the task contradicts with their moral code.
A personal experience I had where my words had a bigger impact than I thought was when I was having a conversation with a friend. They were very casually were telling me a story that was potentially triggering for me, but I let them tell the entire thing, putting manners over my own comfort. Afterward, I expressed that I needed trigger warnings for certain topics, mildly afraid that I would come off as too sensitive. They agreed and apologized, and I forgot about it. Later on, my friend had expressed that they were really grateful that I taught them to be more mindful of others’ traumas because it had made a lot of people that they knew thankful for the heads-up. It really surprised me that a simple reminder would actually help the comfort of others I didn’t even know. Not only did I realize how much my friend had taken my request into account, but they kept it in mind when interacting with friends of their own. Now I understand that letting my friends know what can make me potentially upset will help them become more aware of what they say or do so they don’t accidentally hurt others.
I totally agree that the podcast gave us listeners an opportunity to view the experiments from a different point of view, which in this case was the experimenters. It enlightened me on how important perspective is and especially on acknowledging our influence on others.
In regards to your experience, I know it must’ve been difficult to withstand listening and going through with the entire conversation, but am glad you were able to ultimately speak up for yourself. But it is comforting to know that your friend was as understanding and used their encounter with you to be attentive of trigger warnings with you and others.
attentive to*
Even if you were putting her thoughts first, listening to your friend talk must have been difficult for you. However, talking with your friend about the circumstance you were in had an effect on both of you. You felt better after telling her that since it made you unpleasant, and she understood that she should consider the sentiments of others.
The podcast really made us think on others perspective more in depth. Even on simple situations like when people ask a co worker out and they reject them, we usually feel bad for the person who got rejected . However on the podcast said how it the person who rejects usually really feels bad and sometimes dont even want to see the person because of embarrasment.
And Cal, Im glad you had that experience to make your friends be more gentile and with just a little comment now your friends just dont say stuff that could trigger people out of nowhere.