Tag Archives: Relationships

Sites such as Facebook come with the extra perk of enabling us to anonymously take a peek into other people’s affairs.  It is my personal opinion that besides satisfying our urge to communicate and socialize with dear friends, it also gives us an ample opportunity to snoop around into our friend’s lives and doings, such as for example; who are our friends’ friends?  How close or intimate are they? How fabulous and popular their lives are? Or are they just as miserable and lonely people as we suspected all along…

Contrary to what many may say I believe that social networks such as Facebook, serve for more than just to satisfy the need to “communicate” and stay in touch with friends. According to the article Looking at Friends on Facebook Increases Pleasantness“ it says that  “The researchers found that social searching — looking up a friend’s specific profile information, looking through their photos, reading messages from them — is indicative of greater use of the appetitive system.” The snooping around in my opinion has the same if not more of the incentive to visit Facebook. This added perk is hard to resist and in my opinion increases the chances to spend more and more time on line. The excessive thirst to stay on top of other people’s lives may result in situations of self-deterioration. The ease to communicate can facilitate good deeds as it can make it easier to harm others.

The quality of social interaction can impact our lives in ways that we may not even think of. For example; one of my friends, that I must make clear is not me, was not aware that his last girlfriend was sending friend request to all his friends with a photo of a young child, and many accepted without much questioning, since many times you don’t know what your friend looked like what when they were kids, and often we even do not remember their full names, so we may think we know them and say we’ll find out later.  Soon enough she had enough people to start rumors and a persisting crusade to create embarrassing situations that spread like a wild fire among friends and friends of friends and somehow I found myself as an unintended channel helping the cunning plot to destroy my friends’ possibilities for a new and healthy relationship. As it turns out, and including me, people like to believe the worst on others, maybe as a measure of our own goodness.

Soon after that ugly episode, I became very suspicious and overcautious and ended up blocking access to my profile, defriending some even if that meant limiting contact and social interaction. The price is just too high to pay, and I for one treasure my serenity and peaceful way of living.

Some may say that this does not happen frequently, and I certainly would agree with it, after all living life to the fullest involves taking chances, but  to what extend  you’ll  go  trusting  your privacy to a large pool of friends is hard to say. One thing is certain; I am no longer impressed with how popular you are, or how many hundreds of friends you have in your profile. However;  I believe that that the more people you include in your profile the more chances for risk or unwanted situations;  just keep in mind that every one of those so called “friendships” have your “ number and they can easily do a number on you.

Other people may say, I never accept friend request from anybody that is not my “real” friend then I say good for you. Others may say: that would never happen to me, my friends are the best, and they love me! When I hear that I say to myself I remember when I used to say that and to tell you the truth I honestly believed it; however; one thing is certain and that is when it hits the fan it hits everybody. I remember when I was younger and I was more involved in the friendship socializing hanging out thing, always on the lookout for fun, and when your big mouth got you in trouble, the worst that could’ve happened as nasty rumors spread was that a particular friend would come to you and say while slapping your face “I never did that with you!” and our short term memory put an end to it. Now days whatever you do and whatever anyone says about you, it’s on your permanent record for generations to come.