Many observers contemplate what they would do if they were playing the role of the teacher in Milgram’s shock experiment. Vanessa Bohns states that people’s primary association with the teacher rather than the scientist, is because of an egocentric bias. She compared the mindset of the scientist, to people who are requesting a favor from someone else. When asking for a favor, whether it be asking people to fill out a survey in Grand Central, or asking to borrow a phone on campus, it was found that the number of people who chose to help, are exceedingly higher than the estimates of the person doing the asking. This is a result of an instilled fear of rejection. This fear causes us to think “what if they reject me,” rather than “can they reject me?” This focus on our own feelings and how we might have to cope after a rejection that hasn’t occurred yet, prevents us from realizing that our request instills a certain fear in the person being asked of the favor as well. The lack of realization of our impact on others, is also demonstrated in requests of vandalism and falsifying data. Through both these requests, it can be seen that while we expect people to not follow through with what was asked, reality shows that there is a general inability to reject someone — a discomfort that is a direct result of us.
Once, I had a math teacher tell me that I didn’t even try in his class and that was why I was getting low test grades. Ever since then, I avoided him in the hallways, ran out of class as soon as the bell rang, and my test grades never really improved much. He had me think that I was inherently bad at math. His comment had a significant effect on me which he probably didn’t even know. When coming up with this example, I couldn’t really think of any in which I had said something that had a greater influence than I thought. This highlighted to me that I am also guilty of an egocentric bias. Hopefully, I can begin to pay more attention to my own influence on the people around me.
Nora I really enjoyed reading your analysis on the podcast. We always think about our insecurities and we fail to realize that other people also have the same insecurities as us. I liked the way you used the request for vandalism and falsifying data to prove your point on how much impact we have on others. We think that these are no-brainers to say no, but the power of request and the discomfort to saying no cause people to cross moral boundaries. As for your personal example you have to understand that you cannot allow people to put labels on you. At the end of the day you are in control of your actions and no one can force you to do anything or think anything.
I think you bring up an interesting point. It’s not rare for humans to often have a pessimistic mindset. We often are bounded by what we think and not by our influence. With the influence of media, our insecurities are brought to the frontline. Even at a point where no one has pointed these flaws out, we just assume that we have to face the issue alone. This also works with rejection, how people don’t want to get rejected, but not realize how hard it is for someone to reject them. And if you do get rejected, we often think about the negative aspects of our quality and not think about what might be the reason for the other person.