The podcast argues that the impact we have on others is greater than we give it credit for by providing examples from experiments such as the Milgrim Shock Experiment and studies conducted by Professor Vanessa Bohns, who studies organizational behavior at Cornell University. The studies support the idea that people experience “egocentric bias”, which is when they’re so consumed with their own perspective that they can’t tell what the other person is feeling.
For example, in the Milgrim Shock Experiment, people tend to see the situation from the volunteers’ perspective because we sympathize with the fact that they have to obey the experimenter’s orders and they’re forced to continue the experiment. However, we don’t consider the perspective of the experimenter, even though the experimenter may be conflicted about the directions he’s giving and his impact on the volunteers. When Professor Bohns asked her students to go out on the streets asking people for favors, the students tend to be anxious about being rejected and being disruptive, but they also don’t consider how difficult it must be for the people on the streets to reject them. Even when they asked people in the library to vandalize books for them and they understood it was morally wrong, they would still be influenced into complying. The students who are asking for help are often surprised by how many people actually helped out because of this “egocentric bias” that does not make them consider how hard it would be for the other person to reject them.
From my personal experience, I’ve had several moments when people would give me very casual compliments that would improve my mood for the whole day. In one instance, I had made a flower pot in ceramics class and was showing it to a guy that I was casually talking to, but didn’t know that well. Unlike everyone else, he looked really amazed and enthusiastically complimented my pot. I remembered this one compliment for months and this became one of the reasons why I ended up getting really close to him. Even though he didn’t understand the impact he had on me, and didn’t even remember the flower pot, it still stuck with me to this day. This made me realize that I have to pay more attention to my interactions because even the smallest interaction can have a big impact on others and people tend to be blinded by focusing too much on their own perspective.
I enjoy reading your story. I had a similar experience, but instead of receiving the compliment, I was giving it. It was over spring break, and one of my friends had family issues. After a few months when the problem has settled down, I remember her thanking me for something I said over the phone during that break. I think I was half asleep when saying it, but it made me realize that I have an influence, positive or negative, on others. I think as humans we tend to ignore the small interaction we have because there is always something else bigger occur around us. Most people forget the good in others and only remember their bad. It is that egocentric bias that humans have that forces people to be blinded by the small interaction that carries happiness.