The argument presented by “The Influence You Have” boils down to two central ideas: first is the idea that, when put on the spot, people can be very afraid of saying “no” to others because of social pressure, and second, that people can often greatly underestimate how influential they can be to others due to not recognizing the pressure they give in giving requests. This is demonstrated by the results of one experiment that involved having a stranger to write the word “pickle” in what was made to look like a library book. While most of the experimenters themselves expected only around 28% of those asked to deface the book to do so, a majority of those asked cooperated, at 64%.  In the podcast, an explanation was given as to why so many didn’t outright refuse: “As much as it was uncomfortable to do this unethical thing and vandalize a library book, it was way more uncomfortable for them to say ‘no’ to the person who was asking”(Hidden Brain). People want to avoid conflicts and – in prioritizing the avoidance of more immediate ones – can be willing to compromise their values in small ways, such as when being asked by a stranger to write an innocuous word in what they think is a library book, complaining that doing so isn’t right, but still doing so regardless.

Once, I jokingly asked my older brother “are you on a date?” when he brought a girl over to the house to watch a movie, knowing that he and the girl had an entirely platonic relationship, so of course it wasn’t a date. What I learned later was that my attempt at a joke didn’t really sit well, and led to an atmosphere of awkwardness between the two of them for a bit, likely hurting their enjoyment of the movie and the time they were spending together.  In that first moment, I thought that he would find such a thing funny, and that he would say something witty in response, but because I didn’t know how things were between them well enough, I had said the wrong thing without knowing it.