Lessons for Women is written by Ban Zhao. It originates from China in around c.90 and consider as the oldest female conduct book. It is written for, as claims, her female family’s members. But many people insist that it is written towards all the women living in that era. The main idea of this book is to teach all the women, especially wives how to behave in the family. She includes these ideas by organizing the texts into seven different segments: Humility, Husband and wife, Respect and Caution, Womanly Qualifications Wholehearted Devotion, Implicit Obedience, Harmony with Younger Brothers-and Sister-in-law.
Women are bound to follow traditional rules and regulations. They are to take care and all the household chores. Besides they need to be very respectful to their husband, “Let a Women be correct in manner and upright in character in order to serve her husband” (B, 28). Women should behave really carefully when they are around their husbands. If they disobey their rules they may get beat up. “If husbands stop not of anger, then they are certain to beat their wives” (B, 29). Unfortunately, they don’t have rights to protest when they are treated harshly. Furthermore, she stays in full control by their husband. “…wives must be controlled and that the husband’s rules of conduct manifesting his authority must be established” (B, 28). They are supposed to be humble and show always show respects to their elders. Man can be remarried; however, a woman cannot. In fact, they aren’t permitted to leave from husband’s home because it is considered as heaven, as people cannot run away from heaven anyway. Mother-in-laws also control their life by telling them what to do and what not to do. They must obey all the rules provide by their mother-in-laws without a question of what is fair or not. “Do that even if what she says is wrong” (B30). These helpless women follow whatever their mother-in-law says in order to gain the love from their husbands. “She must win for herself the love of her parents-in-law.” If they want to live in their husband’s house, they must be obedient to all these commands.
New York Times article “For Afghan Wives, a Desperate, Fiery Way Out” written by Alissa J. Rubin talks about the miserable life conditions of women. This article shows many similarities about the situation of women. Child marriage is very likely in Afghanistan. Besides, they have to do all the household chores, take care of their children and the whole family. They often get beat up by their husband’s. In addition, they have to be obedient to their elders specially their parents-laws. Farzana, married at the age of 12, often get beat up by her husband and abused by his family members. Once her father-in-law becomes very angry at her and challenges her to burn herself, a task that she is unable to do. This belittlement makes her angry and she burns herself. ‘“I felt so sad and such pain in my heart and I felt very angry at my husband and my father- and mother-in-law, and then I took the matches and lit myself,” she said.”’ She takes the challenge and burns herself to prove that she has guts. In addition, she desperately tries to escape from her situation.
