Lessons for Women by Ban Zhao outlines the four virtues a woman must abide by, proper virtue, proper speech, proper countenance, and proper conduct. The book itself describes the status and position of women in society. Lessons for Women is a book on how women of the period should behave. Ban’s book served to codify easily learned rules of behavior, which centered on her advice to women to subjugate themselves to the men in the family.
With her husband at the top of the pyramid of authority or her father if she was unmarried, a woman was supposed to accord the appropriate amount of respect to her brothers, brothers-in-law, father, father-in-law and other male relatives. Ban also declared that widows should never remarry, that women must “…put others first, [and] herself last” (B, 27) and that in general, “the [w]ay of respect and acquiescence is woman’s most important principle of conduct” (B,29). It is important to recognize that in Ban’s time this is the paramount importance to establish and support the Confucian way of life. The Confucian classics say little about women, which shows how little they mattered in the scheme of Confucian values. This was only part of the traditional Chinese view of women. Lessons for Women, which purports to be an instructional manual on feminine behavior and virtue for her daughters.
In the first chapter in Lessons for women, it states “[s]hould she do something good, let her not mention it; should she do something bad, let her not deny it” (B, 29). This means that they want women to be as humble as they can be, she has to be honest and respectful at all times. For all the hard work she do by cooking, cleaning, and taking care of her family, she shouldn’t mention it. She is always the last to go to bed and the first to rise in the morning. This is her duty and shouldn’t complain or look to say the good she has done.
Women must have these four qualities: womanly virtue, womanly words, womanly bearing, and womanly work. A woman must “…choose her words with care to avoid vulgar languages, to speak with appropriate times, and not to weary others with much conversation…” (B, 29). It is looked down for women to gossip and to part take in “silly laughter” (B, 29). To have these qualities is a great virtue for a woman.
In comparison to this ancient Chinese way of life for women, this is very similar to the way women are treated and are expected to act in Afghanistan. In the New York Times article “For Afghan Wives, a Desperate, Fiery Way Out,” it shows how women are hurting themselves because they are unhappy and depressed. It is sad to see that they still treated women inferior to men. This takes a toll on someone who are abuse by the men in there lives, and are forced into marriages. Ms. Zada, the mother of six children, ended up with 60 percent of her body burn. It was said that Ms. Zada “suffered from depression.” For Afghan women, there is a little chance of getting an education, has no choice about her role in her home, and a little choice of whom to marry. In that society, “[h]er primary job is to serve her husband’s family.” This is the same thing that women in Asian culture propriety were.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/08/world/asia/08burn.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=afghan%20women&st=cse
