By Jono Mischkot
A writing consultant is always wary of commenting too much. As such, we are trained to hold back at that point when our vocabulary overtakes the student’s or when our ideas overreach the student’s level of understanding. However, there is a subtler concern at stake: What if our sensibilities are different from our students’? What happens when our voices conflict with theirs? How can we train ourselves to see students’ interests and preoccupations, to hear the rhythms of their thinking, to understand their aesthetic, however unformed it may be? The fear is that, by pushing one’s voice over another’s, you lose the emotional / creative integrity of the piece itself. You kill its magic.
I imagine this dilemma as similar to a lover’s exchange or quarrel where a partner must pay attention to not just what is being said, but also how it is being said. He/she trains the ear to hear the emotional undercurrent, to understand the subtext. And so, take the following example as a cautionary tale:
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A student came into the writing center with the urgent need for someone to edit her love letter. At first I was taken aback, but she seemed sincerely to want my help, and so I tried to apply the same writing principles and editorial rigor to her letter that I would to a five-paragraph essay. Here, from memory, are my edits:
(Click on image to view)
Edited Letter:
To Whom It May Concern:
According to the American Wind Energy Association, Alaskan winds blow on average 20 mph and are as cold as 80 degrees below Celsius (AWEA.com). Similarly, when you stand next to me, I sense a strong wind that causes me to tremble and feel weak. However, ironically, you also provide warmth, which I can feel when you wrap your arms around me. As a result, one could say that you are both cold and warm. This letter will explore the above dichotomy while analyzing its effect on me in terms of my sanity and memory. Ultimately, I will prove that, although the impact of your love appears to be negative on the surface, it is, in reality, very positive.
First, the cold and warm sensations I feel when in your presence have an impact on my mental health. For instance, the other day while sitting on the R train, I thought I saw you sitting across from me. When I looked closer, I saw that it was not you, but rather an elderly Caucasian woman. This kind of experience is known as a pseudo-hallucination and should be distinguished from a standard hallucination. “An example used in psychiatry is the hearing of voices which are ‘inside the head’ according to the patient; in contrast, a hallucination would be indistinguishable to the patient from a real external stimulus, e.g. ‘people were talking about me’ (Wikipedia). Thus, although you are impacting my mental health, this impact is not as strong as to make me clinically insane.
In addition to causing pseudo-halluncations, your presence also impacts my memory. More specifically, when we kiss, I sometimes forget where and who I am. However, according to Kahlil Gibran, “Forgetfulness is a form of freedom” (GoodReads.com). As a result, one could say that this forgetfulness is not a bad experience, but a liberating one.
In conclusion, you are both warm and cold. Although this tension can be confusing and cause minor hallucinations, it can also allow for a certain freedom. Therefore, I feel our love is very significant.
Sincerely,
Mirabella
Published March 18, 2015
