By Chong Bretillon
When helping students write personal statements, I often use this resource from the University of Chicago Law School, entitled, “In Their Own Words: Admissions Essays that Worked.” These essays, written by students who were accepted to U of Chicago Law, provide models of excellent narrative writing that can be used as fodder for conversations about the genre.
A common problem in personal statement writing is that students demonstrate difficulty conceptualizing their intellectual and academic identity beyond the lists of achievements that comprise their resumes. The result is often a statement that more closely resembles a “resume in prose form” that is hardly personal, or a persuasive essay testifying to one’s preparation for classes in the chosen discipline. The following essays take different approaches, but they all allow readers to picture who the student is, what they value, and how they could contribute to the scholarly community.
Consider the first essay, by Tammy Wang, in which she describes her experiences as a classical pianist. In a session, I ask students to point out where Tammy mentions her interest and experience with the legal system and the law. Surprise! the answer is, she doesn’t—at all—and that’s the point! I then ask different questions: Who is Tammy? What qualities might make her a successful law student? Answers might be: her diligence, willingness to take risks and try new things. Her use of music as the central theme ends up telling the committee much more about her character than if she had merely listed her accomplishments and claimed she was ready for law school.
Osama Hamdy’s essay also affirms that personal statements need not be grounded in academic work at all in order to be successful. We talk about the essay’s “hook”: the student reflects on the fact that he shares a first name with one of the world’s most notorious terrorists. He describes how he dealt with racism and stereotyping throughout his youth, which ultimately inspired him to begin working as a diversity ambassador in college. In a conversation about this essay, I ask students to describe the qualities Osama underscores that might make him a valued member of the academic community.
I believe all of these essays can help students feel more comfortable getting personal in their application essays.
Published on April 12, 2018
