Month: April 2022

I chose to use strategy number 3 because I think no matter how many times I reread my own paper I wouldn’t find an issue with it unless it was pointed out by someone else. After receiving my feedback from my partner, I read through my paper once again to see if  I noticed the concerns that my partner bought up such as adding more quotes and connecting it back to the film. I kept this in mind while I was editing and writing my new draft, which was really helpful and I also found some new sources connect back.

The strategy I chose for revision is option 1 because I think I can expand and explain further on some parts of the essay. The exercise helped me explore some possible ideas I can still incorporate in one of my body paragraphs. The body paragraph I was working on contained some quotations about how the show Money Heist inspired real life protests. I think I can write more about how the issues people were protesting about are similar to the issues caused by neoliberalism. I can also connect back to the issue of economic inequality and perhaps include ideas about the lack of representation of minorities. The main thing I am struggling with right now is trying to connect the art I’m working out to real life events.

For the introduction of my research paper, I chose strategy #3, which is to address my reader’s concerns. I chose this because I felt like I might be too biased when reviewing my own paper, so having suggestions come from a third party might help me improve my paper. The person who reviewed my draft thought the introduction should’ve gone into more detail about the audience Breaking Bad attracted, as well as its influence. When I was originally writing the intro, I found myself reluctant to do this because I thought I was going to end up sounding redundant. My grammar and use of quotes were fine, although doing this did make me consider removing some unnecessary sentences and replacing them with ones that are more relevant to the paper.

I chose to work on option 5, which was to restructure your essay and discover new ideas in the process. I already had ideas for what I wanted my paper to include so it was important for me to focus on the order and structure to put in these ideas. Especially as I already chose the quotes and subtopics that I was interested in working on. The exercise helped me also get a better understanding of how my paper would end up looking, as I was able to put all these ideas and evidence in a singular document. It also helped out as I got to see how they flowed together and make edits on what to add on or what to remove from the paper. My main concern as of now is adding more of my own writing and analysis to the writing. I have an idea for each subtopic, along with now which evidence I will be focusing on, so I now need to focus on how I will be analyzing this evidence for the subtopics. 

I decided to do Strategy 1 “To say something better” and one of my main issues that I have so far in my draft is wrapping it up to deliever the idea or message to the readers. So I would need to relate more to my thesis statement and not overdue my part because there are other ways to explain it further in the essay. This exercise revealed that my topic is more flexible than previously thought and how I should be more direct in my writing to get my point across. I chose this exercise because out of all the strategies it was my best pick to do. The only real issue I am having right now is trying to flow my evidence and sub topics to make the arguement make sense.

The strategy that I chose was number 5, “to restructure your essay and discover new ideas in the process.” I chose this strategy because I tend to be very repetitive when I’m writing long papers. I wanted to test it out with my second paragraph, so I broke it up and rearranged it. I realized I had good sentences, but they could be even better if they were in a different order. I always follow a basic structure, so mixing it up made the paragraph easier to read for me. I was able to get rid of information that I was repeating, giving my writing a better flow. Right now, I’m struggling with how to organize all my different ideas, but I think keeping this exercise in mind will help me blend my thoughts together.

The strategy I attempted to exercise was strategy no. 1: “To Say Something Better.” One of the lingering issues I have with the current iteration of my draft is my lack of properly explained claims or ideas. Including my thesis statement, many of the ideas/topics I mentioned or planned on mentioning have yet to be fleshed out. With that in mind, I thought that strategy no.1 would be most beneficial in my case. Isolating a single topic and trying to develop it as best as possible could be a good way to clear my thoughts and allow me to see a clearer picture of how the idea will fit into the overall essay. In the case of my thesis claim, although I most likely won’t be using the developed paragraph, the strategy helped me formulate a potential plan in which I could structure/organize my ideas.

I did exercise No. 5 “to restructures your essay and discover new ideas in the process”. As I was on the progress of building an argument for my essay, I found that I was struggling on having a clear thesis statement, and also do not know how to use the sources that I found correctly. The exercise helped me to clear up what I really should work on on the essay. For instance, the original research question that I had was what it really is to be a real rule follower, unfortunately, there are limited sources online that talk about it, and I do not have a clear answer for it either. The first draft was written based on the limited sources I had found with an unclear thesis statement. So I start breaking each paragraphs apart and rearrange them, suddenly, everything just make sense now —> there is no standard answers for being a real rule followers. Each one has different perspectives on each individual and also people follow the rules or break the rules under different circumstances, we cannot say that if you did not follow the rules, you are not a good person.