American Traveler

Friday evening, 7:30 flight from LGA to MIA.

The things we carried into LaGuardia:

1 Louis Vuitton garment bag

1 large Louis Vuitton carryon

I purse

I generic garment bag

1 manbag

Now, no matter how you slice it, that’s more than 2 bags per person. Ever the optimist, Lauren thought that wouldn’t be an issue. She didnt know we were about to run into the meanest man in LaGuardia. I was hauling both garment bags plus my manbag as we approached the boarding gate. ‘You’ve got two many bags to carry on,’ he said as we approached. ‘Here. let me take one,’ Lauren said. ‘Now you’ve got too many bags,’ he said to her. ‘You’re going to have to check one.’ If we had been thinking we would have just shoved her purse into the carryon on. We weren’t thinking.

So we check a bag and  made our way up the ramp. The flight was full, the aisle was jammed but we were able to find room to stash our remaining bags in the overhead and sat, and waited, and waited. There was some sort of drama going on. Seems there was a ‘fearful flyer’ who wanted to be seated near a friend. Why they hadn’t gotten seats together to start with i don’t know. The attendants tried shaming a bullying passengers into switching but none would so they eventually gave up. And, only an hour late, we lifted off heading to Miami.

Amazingly, we only had to wait a minute or two to reclaim that bag at the Miami airport. A short, $32 cab ride later we were deposited on Ocean Drive in front of hte Majestic. Like every other place on the street, it had an open air cafe in front, and annoying host/hostess accosting every passerby, trying to lure them in to eat. Giving it kind of a third world beggar chic vibe.Upon entering we immediately sensed that the Majestic was well, not so much. The lobby was shabby. the front desk clerk was gruff at best. and i felt a sinking feeling in my stomach when i realized i had shelled out $180 a night for this place.

The room? grim is the best word to describe it. not exactly dirty but a bit shopworn. nothing special about the furnishings or size. and what about the "partial ocean view?" In the morning we found that if you threw open the window and leaned out as far as possible you could maybe see a flash of blue off in the distance. No worries, Lauren said. The beds were comfortable and she managed to spend most of the night in bed with me before stretching out in the early hours in the other bed. A woman needs her space…

We had all day on Saturday to roam around before the evening wedding and after lunch at the New Cafe with our friend Joe, we stopped at the red bull art of the can exhibit on Ocean Drive. Fabulous, as one of us is wont to say. Then it was shopping, shopping, shopping the afternoon away until it was time for the wedding at the Fountainblue. We were a bit underwhelmed by the glitzy hotel. With all the shops and whatnot it felt as much a mall as a hotel. It was so big we had a hard time finding the right room and wound up smack in the middle of the law enforcement officer of the year banquet. Eventually we found our peeps, or they found us and we followed them to cocktails and appetizers by the pool Delightful, if a bit chilly.

Lauren enjoying the heat during cocktail hour.

We had a full day in Miami Sunday as our flight didn’t leave util 9:30 pm. After lunch with Joe again (at paul’s a lovely cafeteria style chain, French in origin, we did some more… what else… shopping. Lauren charmed the salesforce at Alchemist and we both enjoyed the funky gear at All Saints, but by day’s end we packed up with only one purchase, a pair of Prada shoes… for me! Surprise. We also did a bit of tattoo browsing. We walked into one place and as we were saying hello to the clerk behind the counter we heard someone scream “Lauren” from the back. It was Irina, a young woman who was once Lauren’s intern of sorts. Small world.

Back at the airport we again made the mistake of passing through security—where Lauren was subjected to a full body scan in what looked like an isolation booth from a ’60s game show—before we ate. So all we found was a rather sad looking Cosi with a few sandwiches and salads.

The waiting area was packed with passengers foe the New York flight. We boarded only a little late but then had to sit on the plane for a half hour because they couldn’t locate the ground crew. Off eating, no doubt, at a better place than Cosi.

Hotel room equipped with state of the art tissue

Arriving at Miami Airport. Still smiling after the flight

Read all about how they celebrate maple sugaring season in Quebec

One of my favorite articles from the late, great Gourmet magazine.

You can download it in pdf form here.

shacks part 1

shacks2 part 2

My off off Broadway play (Who Put the Ex in Xmas?) closed Friday night. The snow storm kept out of town friends from coming for the weekend, so Saturday I hopped on the jitney to spend the remainder of the weekend with my woman in the Hamptons. We had had a memorable (and expensive dinner with friends at Nick and Tony’s in East Hampton earlier in the winter and decided to go back to take advantage of their movie deal: two course and a movie voucher for 30 bucks. Not bad! Because it was off season and because we made a resy for 6:00, (not so much because we’re fabulous) we got a great table.

Why so early? Because we wanted to make it to the screening of “Mean Streets” and post-movie talk with Alec Baldwin at Gild Hall. (Lauren has crossed paths with him before in her professional life and his repeated refusal to grant her an interview has become something of a bit between them.) Lauren kept telling people that the Q&A would be moderated by Ted Nugent. Of course, peoples response was “Wha?!” It wasn’t Ted Nugent at all of course, but David from the Hampton’s Film Festival.

But, back to dinner…

we didn’t realize until after the fact that the special was drawn form their Alsatian menu. Lauren had an onion tart with greens as an appetizer an I had a frisee, ham and Gruyere salad. Both were delicious. For main course, Lauren chose the chicken, while I had the baeckoffe, a stew of brisket lamb and pork under a blanket of potato puree. with desert and a glass of wine, our bill broke the $100 mark, but we did pocket two movie passes. (Or I should say Lauren pocketed two movie passes. I barely got a glimpse of them before they disappeared into her purse.

That was not our only food for the night; the movie event included a free desert at the Maidstone Living Room. I’ll just have a bite of desert, Lauren said as we walked to the restaurant. (Actually, we walked away from the restaurant as for some reason Lauren got it in her head that we were going to the Hedges. Once we got straigtened out we made it to the maidstone where we had more than a taste. We actually shared three deserts between us. (That brownie with warm espresso sauce was too inviting to resist.) At least we had pre-worked off a few calories with that walk to the wrong restaurant.

Nest stop: Miami!