Ms. Jamison’s anecdotes about saying “no” are relatable for most people. The fear of disappointing someone and of losing opportunities is a valid statement. It is easy to overthink about a situation and the consequences of your result. Ms. Jamison says the guilt of turning someone down makes it hard to say “no”. For me, it is being put in the spotlight of having to give an answer and feeling sympathetic. I feel that their problem becomes my problem, which is why I occasionally have a hard time to say no. If I had my own “Notebook of Noes”, one “no” I would record would be not going out with my friends. By turning down their offer, I was able to be productive that day and spend time with my family. Most of the time I don’t have trouble saying no. I don’t understand why people can’t say no because I feel that if the person was compassionate, they would understand the decline. I often say no because I like to stay in my comfort zone, so I would say that my problem is more about saying yes than no.
When I do face these kinds of situations, my mother gives me a lot of helpful advice. My mother always helps me face reality and helps me understand that my response is not as hurtful as I think. If a friend has trouble saying “no”, I would advise to not overthink the response and reassure them that there is nothing wrong with saying no. I would help my friend formulate a way to say “no” nicely, so she doesn’t feel that she is disappointing them.
I think this challenge does affect women and girls disproportionately compared to men. In society, women are seen as empathic nurturers who are always compliant. Some people might feel entitled to a woman’s help if they ask nicely. On the other hand, men are respected and are not questioned by their answers.
Saying “no” is definitely something I and probably many others struggle with especially when it comes to close ones. But I think people should learn boundaries and not expect a yes for everything because how you feel about it should also matter just as much.
Saying no is definitely a struggle in certain situatoins
I definitely struggle with saying “no” at times, but I have learned that it is fine to say “no” when you don’t feel comfortable doing something. I completely agree with you that the other person should have compassion and understand your “no.” I feel like it is normalized to say “yes” especially to certain groups of people like family even when you don’t want to, which at times ends up causing problems.
I would definitely agree that saying no is something that is difficult for a lot of people. I think that the main reason is that you don’t want to let the person down and sometimes not saying no will actually end up hurting you so it is a pretty difficult situation.
Saying “no” can be very difficult sometimes, depending on the person and situation. The fear of disappointing someone plays a huge role in the reason behind saying “no.” I also agree that this can lead to overthinking about a situation.
I have always had a hard time saying “no,” as I don’t want to come off as rude. Just today, I was offered food I didn’t want, but I couldn’t say no because I felt bad. I feel like many societal factors come into play for these things but I know its time to start saying No for myself as a person.
In the past, I found it difficult to say “no” to my friends’ requests, but I have realized that agreeing when I actually want to say “no” only leads to more problems. Instead of having a closer friendship, you would find out that they don’t actually know what you want and you are not being truly yourself.
I also struggle with saying “no” because I am scared that I would disappoint someone. But I think its important to realize that there it is not a problem to say no. We often start overthinking about what the other person would think but most of the time if you say no they won’t react negatively.