Summary
He was getting ready with his family to get a warm pizza slice in Canarsie, the last stop of the L train. A cold day in Brooklyn. His parents wanted to take him out for some food as a family, getting ready to head out, ready to confront the winter together as a nice young family. However, they did not take into consideration the danger the winter brings to the environment, or more how a human body is not able to survive the cold without extra clothing and proper shoes. Their son was about to experience for the first time two things that changed his life forever: consciousness and pain.
He did not walk that long and suddenly he lost balance and smashed his face on the floor, he cried. He cried not because he was in pain, but it was cold and humiliating, his parents were laughing at him, the poor kid was furious. After that incident, the family arrived at the station and they noticed an old lady fell on the train track, she looked a little drunk and was screaming for help. His parents decided to help the old lady instead of making fun of her.
I think that the best thing to do on the winter season is to wear proper shoes.
I really like how you set the story, and more so I appreciate how you turned the season of winter and its effects into a story, something bigger. I also like how descriptive you are as well, it was interesting also how you added that your parents made fun of you but not the lady.
Only feedback I have is to add more to the story so that it reaches the word limit and you should be good.
Luis, how does this exactly correlate to a teachable moment for you. I’m not following along whatsoever?