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COVER LETTER

Before beginning to write this essay, I found myself pretty excited with the fact that I was able to choose my own topic. And I felt like I chose an interesting one as it can someday relate to anyone who reads it. However, as I began writing it and doing my research, I felt a little overwhelmed with all the information I wanted to include in the final essay, which I consider it to be normal since it is a new project for me to write an essay of this length and type. As I continued writing I was able to narrow it down more and more. I still found myself wanting to make a lot of changes to it since it was a bit freer than the first essay, but I tried my best to keep it focused on one topic. As I was writing I also found it difficult to keep all my information relevant to my research problem, which is something that I struggle with at times. But I feel like doing this essay was a good way to keep myself focused instead of simply throwing in all the information I can find just because I find it interesting. I feel like I still could have made my essay a bit more organized and focused with my information, but overall I consider it to be pretty clear and to be coherent and cohesive for the most part. One thing I had a lot of difficulty with was creating a conversation between my sources since most of them agreed on the same things. Some had more information that I was able to use on different parts of the essay, but they all ultimately agreed on the point of my essay. Overall, I found this essay a very interesting one since I felt comfortable with the topic I was writing and I felt like I had to step out of my comfort zone in order to follow the guidelines and make it more focused and structured.

Amanda N. Bonet
04/02/17
ENG 2150
Prof. Martin

                                            The Hidden Burdens of Stigma

Stigma. A word that can be defined as, “a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or perjson.” Society nowadays has many stigmas regarding disabilities, sexual orientation, values, wealth, level of education, amongst others. However, a strong part of society that suffers from stigmas, often going unnoticed or unattended, are the mentally ill. Stigma does not only produce shame in the individuals suffering from it, it also decreases their chances of better life opportunities due to diminished job offerings, distorted image of oneself, and lack of social contact with those around them (Yang) Although the stigma of mental illnesses has gone through many changes throughout history, it is still very much present in society and many suffer from it on a day to day basis, often due to the lack of available medical treatments for these type of diseases.

Yet many, especially those individuals who are not directly affected by these mental illnesses, do not realize how stigma is still present in the society we live in. An interesting way of assessing the level of stigma prevailing in our society can be understood by an example posed by Jeffrey Lieberman, professor and Chair of Psychiatry at Columbia University, in a video titled “Imagine There Was No Stigma to Mental Illness.” He asks the audience to imagine that they were invited to their boss’ 50^th birthday party and that they were selected to give the toast. But, on the day of the event, they get sick and have to call to excuse themselves. He then asks, “Would you prefer to say that you couldn’t come because you had a kidney stone or that you were depressed and suicidal?” Even though it is a hypothetical example, chances are we would not choose the second option over the first one because we unconsciously do know the prejudices that follow behind openly saying you suffer from a mental disorder. Many people might see it as something that is not too serious since it is not something they believe affects people physically, such as heart disease or cancer, or because they associate it as a mood rather than an actual illness. And although it has been proven scientifically that mental illness are quite serious and have many negative effects, both mentally and physically, society still has many stigmas about them, often degrading their level of severity.

According to the National Alliance of Mental Health, 1 in 5 adults in America experience a mental illness, which is as many as 43.8 million people. By being aware of the great amount of people that suffer from mental illnesses annually, some might wonder why is it that these people still have stigmas attached to them. Stigmas that have been going on for centuries, even though information about these illnesses has become easily accessible due to the advances in technology and the efforts of the people that suffer from them, as well as professionals in the field, to bring awareness to them and their effects. Perhaps it is because we are conditioned to categorize these illnesses as “crazy” or “weird”, or because those who do not suffer from them do not realize, and too often do not care, the impact they can have on an individual’s life, and even on society as a whole. Whatever the reason may be, there is no doubt that these stigmas are a contributing factor to the limits in the quantity and quality of treatments for the mentally ill, which further intensifies the prejudices associated with their illnesses. Thus, why is it that society fails to put a stop to this cycle? Why are there so many preconceptions about the mentally ill yet, paradoxically, the limited mental health treatments available force them to continue suffering from the uncontrollable symptoms caused by their diseases?

Those who suffer from mental illnesses often suffer from the consequences of stigma in the workplace. As Thomas G. Plante tells us in his book The Cost of Mental Illness, many employer health programs restricted therapy sessions to around 20 per year until the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act eliminated the restriction in 2010. Unfortunately, there still isn’t much of a difference since many health insurances continue to cover just a small part of a therapy session. Because of this, many of these patients that chose to seek help for their illnesses usually opt for the most affordable option: medication. Although measuring the effectiveness of psychotherapy is a difficult task that varies from person to person, psychiatrists and psychologists believe that the best way to overcome or reduce symptoms of mental illnesses is through a combination of psychotherapy and medication(Yang) Thus, patients who opt for just medication might have a harder time dealing with their illnesses as they might show improvement short-term but they are more prone to relapse, ultimately continuing to affect their work performance and even costing them their jobs. Although many of those who suffer from illnesses such as depression and anxiety are able to carry out their daily activities, in comparison to those who suffer from chronic illnesses such as schizophrenia, for example, it has been proven that they function at lower levels of productivity, a phenomenon that has been called presenteeism by social scientists(Rampell). Not only does this affect their employers, it also affects their chances of maintaining their jobs and their quality of life.

Now, although the workplace is a noticeable place to see the negative consequences stigma has had on the mentally ill, it is definitely not the first they encounter them in their lives. According to Plante, it is estimated that about four million children and adolescents suffer from a severe mental disorder or illness, yet only 20% are identified and treated for such. We see that even from a young age, a great number of people begin to experience symptoms of illnesses that often go untreated in the future due to stigma. Children and adolescents suffering from mental illnesses often go through many hardships in school or wherever they are surrounded by others their age since, from their early stages, children already begin to view these illnesses with negative beliefs and ideas(Plante). This has negative effects on an individual short-term, and even worse long-term as it can ultimately lead to a decreased quality of life in the future since many end up dropping out of school, earning lower grades, becoming isolated from society, or losing their jobs.

Letting mental illnesses go untreated from an early age, as mentioned above, can also lead these individuals to prison, which is another place where the lack of treatment for mental disorders has had a terribly negative effect, so much for youth and for adults. In youth, for example, many of those who have a severe mental illness begin to show signs of aggressive and/or reckless behavior from a young age, which can lead to a life of constant incarceration if left untreated. It also causes the victim to not have access to effective mental health treatments as the majority of these facilities are not equipped with the proper services. For adults it also has similar effect as many of them have had little to no access to treatments throughout their lives, have disregarded their symptoms, and/or have engaged in violent behavior as a result of their disorders. Although these effects have a negative impact on the ones who are mentally ill, it also poses a threat to those around them as these individuals might not be able to control their thoughts or behaviors, causing them to do harm to others. According to the National Center for Mental Health and Juvenile Justice, as much as 70% of youth in the juvenile system have at least one psychiatric disorder. This high percentage is a concerning one as it goes to show the often misunderstood relationship between the mentally ill and their aggressive and/or careless behavior. Another report done by the Public Citizen’s Health Research Group and The Treatment Advocacy Center found that, among 39 states, 95.7% of jails reported having inmates with serious mental illnesses, especially on larger facilities.

Many of the false beliefs about mental illnesses that are common nowadays in our society have come from society itself through the media. Studies have proven that mass media is one of the main sources where people acquire information about mental disorders such as bipolar, depression, and schizophrenia. Meanwhile, studies also suggest that the portrayal of the mentally ill in the media is one of the most flawed as they often view them negatively and based on unrealistic stereotypes(Fawcett). The media often portrays the mentally ill with an inaccurate picture, inducing fear and discrimination against them and even shame and embarrassment on the mentally ill themselves. Some of the common myths conveyed through the mass media are that people with mental disorders are violent, they have a poor appearance, and that they do not get better(Fawcett). For example, according to professor Don Diefenbach from the University of North Carolina, who researches media portrayal of mental health issues, found that those characters who were labeled as mentally ill were 10 times more likely to commit a violent crime compared to other characters, and about 10 to 20 times more likely to commit a violent crime compared to someone who is mentally ill in real life. When it comes to the myth that the mentally ill do not get better, movies and TV shows often show characters that suffer from mental disorders and engage in self destructive behaviors or suffer from the consequences of them, yet they rarely show they seeking help. And if they do, they do not rarely show them genuinely getting better and living a normal life. These false ideas spread by the media further intensify the stigma of these illnesses and diminishes the actual severity of them, causing society to continue to view these diseases as, in a way, something that is not worth investing money in or something that is to be ashamed of.

It is not only in places such as work, school, and penal institutions that stigma plays such a big role, it is also experienced by the individuals themselves in a very personal way. Many of those suffering from mental disorders or illnesses will refuse to seek help; not necessarily due to the very high costs of treatments, but sometimes due to the false beliefs that are attached to the mentally ill, especially to those who openly seek treatment. These individuals often fear the rejection, prejudices, and discrimination that comes with letting others know they suffer from a mental health disorder, furthering the tendency of not seeking treatment at all. These pre conceived notions also have a serious effect on an individual’s quality of life as they might experience lower self-esteem, difficulty socializing with other and/or maintaining relationships, feelings of shame and embarrassment, they suffer from more health conditions, amongst other factors.

It is no doubt that funding mental health services has a very significant cost for the federal government, which might be the reason behind the limited funding available to treat mental illnesses. However, there is evidence suggesting that actually spending on those services now is an investment as it will save millions in the future. Untreated mental disorders and illnesses are costing approximately $113 billion to American business, taxpayers, and the government on an annual basis(Plante). People with untreated mental disorders are more likely to miss work due to their illness, to quit their job, and/or be less productive than their counterparts, which costs companies millions of dollars every year. According to the National Mental Health Association, mental illness costs as much as $105 billion in lost of productivity. Thus, why is it that funding for mental health services continues to be cut so often? A study published in 2007 in The Journal of the American Medical Association helps to demonstrate how investing in these services can have a positive long-term impact on employers as well as those who are mentally ill. In this study, a number of depressed employees were enrolled at 16 large companies, some of them receiving extra care for their disorders and others receiving the usual care. As a result, the employees that were receiving extra care not only worked more weeks than the other group, they also demonstrated greater job retention. Although this study might be of smaller scale, it shows the positive effects treating mental illnesses can have on employers, the government, and society as a whole.

Unfortunately, this investment does not seem to be close as funding for mental health services continues to be cutback and, for the most part, health insurances do not cover flexible and adequate treatments for those suffering of these illnesses. There is also evidence suggesting that, even if effective mental health services became more accessible to those who need it, many would not take advantage of them due to fear of being stigmatized(Rampell). In addition, many would not receive the appropriate treatment for their conditions as each person often has specific needs and symptoms, placing them in need of a more personalized form of treatment, meaning that it would more expensive. Professor Lieberman poses a good example of the latter; he mentions his own experience with a woman called Sara, who suffered from panic disorder. Sara’s disorder caused her to develop agoraphobia, preventing her from being able to leave her home. Lieberman began exposure therapy and other treatment methods in order to help her overcome her phobia, which ultimately had positive results. He then mentions his experience with a young girl who suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder, which was different from the one with Sara as he was not able to provide the appropriate treatment or find the right medication. An example that goes to show the difficulty encountered by those suffering from mental disorders and illnesses, difficulties that make it strenuous for them to seek help, often leading them to not seek help at all.

Nonetheless, through systems such as schools, the workforce, and prison, we see how stigma has slowly creeped through the cracks to settle itself amongst them. Perhaps there are other factors that have fallen into play when it comes to adequate treatment being readily available to the mentally ill. But, above all, it is safe to assume that stigma has had a significant impact on this matter. The fact that these illnesses have been, for decades, categorized as just mood swings, or as “crazy” or “weird”, portrayed inaccurately by the media, and treated lightly by the government and by employers has slowly determined the way they are treated by society as a whole. Many still view these behaviors as voluntarily or something that can be easily controlled, especially by those who do not suffer from them or have been conditioned to believe that due to the false beliefs behind these disorders. Therefore, these illnesses have been diminished for many years, even though there is clear evidence that they are very much real and threatening diseases if left untreated, just like, let us say, heart disease. As professor Lieberman mentions in his video, if there was no stigma, a public health initiative could be launched against mental illnesses just like it’s been done in the past for other diseases such as infectious ones. Consequently, why do we as a society continue to stigmatize these diseases and the ones who suffer from it when there is sufficient proof of them being just a serious as other diseases we treat regularly and without shame? Perhaps there is not one specific answer to this question, as it varies from person to person, and can be based on different factors, but stigma has had a detrimental impact on this matter and will continue to do so if greater awareness is not given to these illnesses and adequate mental health treatments are not given the importance they require.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Taylor, Nicole M., and Emily Johnson. “The Cost of Mental Illness.” Abnormal Psychology Across the Ages, edited by Thomas G. Plante, vol. 3: Trends and Future Directions, Praeger, 2013, pp. [179]-197. Praeger Perspectives: Abnormal Psychology.

TEDxTalks. “Imagine There Was No Stigma to Mental Illness.” YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrbTbB9tTtA

Rampell, Catherine. “The Half-Trillion Dollar Depression.” NY Times. N.p., 3 July 2013. Web. 19 Apr. 2017.

AbuDagga, Azza, Sydney Wolfe, Michael Carome, Amanda Phatdouang, and E. Fuller Torrey. “Individuals With Serious Mental Illnesses in County Jails: A Survey of Jail Staff’s Perspectives.” Citizen. N.p., 14 July 2016. Web. 19 Apr. 2017.

“Mentally Ill: Public Attitudes.” International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Sciences, edited by Neil J. Smelser and Paul B. Baltes, vol. 14, Elsevier, 2001, pp. 9704-9709.

Fawcett, Kirstin. “How Mental Illness Is Misrepresented In The Media.” U.S. News. N.p., 15 Apr. 2015. Web. 19 Apr. 2017.

Tartakovsky, Margarita. “What Prevents People From Seeking Mental Health Treatments?” PsychCentral. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Apr. 2017.

National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2009). Supporting Schools and Communities in Breaking the Prison Pipeline: A Guide to Emerging and Promising Crisis Intervention Programs for Youth. Arlington, VA: Author.

National Center for Mental Health and Juvenile Justice. (2006). Blueprint for Change: A Comprehensive Model for the Identification and Treatment of Youth with Mental Health Needs in Contact with the Juvenile Justice System. Washington, DC: Author.

COVER LETTER

While in the process of writing this essay about Zadie Smith’s Speaking In Tongues, I found that the earlier stages were easier for me, that is the process of brainstorming and being able to identify interesting intellectual problems I wanted to write about, even though these are usually the stages I have most trouble with. I even found myself overwhelmed by all the ways I wanted to approach this essay. As I began writing, I felt like I had a solid intellectual problem that I could go in-depth with in the essay and many ideas to approach it. However, I realized that I had trouble trying to focus my essay on just one idea, which is the intellectual problem. There were several times where I would read back through my paragraphs and think that I was taking a different direction. Although this was my biggest struggle throughout the essay, I ultimately feel like I was able to narrow down my ideas and communicate my opinions in a clear and effective way. I consider my paragraphs to be straightforward and informative in relation to the intellectual problem and Smith’s examples and explanations. When figuring out my claim, I struggled a bit; while writing the body of the essay I felt like I had it figured out, but when actually reaching the conclusion, I had trouble elaborating on it. Perhaps I faced this problem because I didn’t give much thought to the claim before writing the essay; I thought I would be able to find it along the way. It is something I will definitely try to improve for the next essays. Overall, I considered my writing process to be an interesting one, especially because this is the first essay I have done where I had to identify an intellectual problem and provide a claim for it. I felt like it was a new exercise that helped shape my way of writing, and it helped me identify several weaknesses I have that I will work on improving on for future essays, whether for this class or outside of it.

 

Amanda Bonet Tkacs
02/15/17
Professor Martin
ENG 2150

Speaking In Tongues: A Curse or a Blessing?

We, as human beings, have and will continue to find ourselves in ever-changing situations that force us to adapt as we are exposed to new experiences. One of the many changes we face throughout our lifetime is the adaptation of our words. As we find ourselves exposed to different settings, we meet new people, we are faced with new challenges, and, ultimately, we encounter new situations that force us to speak accordingly, even if we do so unconsciously. In Zadie Smith’s essay “Speaking In Tongues”, she recounts her own experience of how she adapted a new voice once she left her hometown for Cambridge, and how she continued to do so as time went on. However, there is a question left unclear by her recounting of events: Is the adaptation of voices a burden or a blessing? Throughout her essay we are presented with various situations that are, in a way, paradoxical since she classifies certain examples as tragic while others as admirable, although they all seem to hold close relations to one another.

As we begin reading her essay, we empathize with Smith’s situation. She tells us about how she slowly began losing the voice she grew up with as a child and creating a new one to fit in to her new life. At first she thought she was simply adding a voice to her old one, but as time went on her two voices slowly became a singular one, as if the old one was being replaced or forgotten. She continues on to give us the example of Eliza Doolittle, a fictional character from George Bernard Shaw’s musical Pygmalion. In Pygmalion, Eliza is a simple flower girl who takes speech lessons with a professor called Henry Higgins in order to pass as a lady, but Smith argues that at the end of this journey, Eliza ends up being an “awkward, in-between thing” (135), classifying her situation as an unfortunate one, just like her own. However, after speaking about Eliza’s situation in Shaw’s play, she turns our attention towards Shaw himself. Smith argues that, although Eliza’s situation was a tragic one, the effect is undercut since Shaw actually is in possession of something he was not able to give to Eliza, which is his ability to speak in tongues (135). Smith observes this about Shaw since Pygmalion is, as she says, “an orchestra of many voices, simultaneously and perfectly rendered, with no shade or color sacrificed.” (135) She is telling us how Shaw is actually able to adapt his many voices in order to approach different themes in his play without choosing one voice over another, although this is not the case of his character Eliza. But it seems that this argument is just as contradictory as her own work. Smith writes about how she lost her original voice to a new one, just like Eliza, yet we as the readers can clearly observe that she has not lost her voice, but added new ones.

Throughout her essay we observe that Smith is actually in possession of several voice as well. Even if she is simply using others’ as examples, such as Eliza, Shaw, and Obama, we notice that she is able to effortlessly speak about these people in vastly different ways, especially because it is inevitable as they are all very diverse characters/people. Throughout her work, Smith must speak about the different races, cultures, and backgrounds of these people, in addition to her own. Smith might still consider herself to only possess one voice, but in reality, a person with a singular, unified voice, as she calls it, would not be able to successfully transition from these different people so eloquently and in such a relatable fashion to the reader. It is possible that these voices are difficult to decipher by simply reading her essay, but when listening to her lecture, we can hear the shift in her voice; the diverse accents, purposes, and choice of words in order to reach the audience. By listening to her speaking, we are able to see how she actually is in possession of the same ability she admires in Shaw: the ability to speak in tongues.

Smith does not end her argument with Eliza and Shaw’s situations; she moves on to speak about Barack Obama’s. She admires Obama’s ability, similar to Shaw’s, to possess many voices rather than just one. “The conclusions Obama draws from his Pygmalion experience, however, are subtler than Shaw’s”, says Smith, “The tale he tells is not the tragedy of gaining a new, false voice at the expense of a true one. The tale he tells is all about addition.” (136) We, as the reader, understand Smith’s admiration towards Obama’s so called ability, however when we continue to the second part of her essay, we encounter her explanation of Dream City, which she describes as a place where people are in possession of many voices rather than a singular self (137). The interesting part about her explanation of Dream City is that she does not just consider Obama to be born there, but herself too. Thus, we find ourselves again with the contradiction of her words, unsure of why she now considers herself to possess several voices, just like Obama, when at the beginning of her essay she suggests that she does not have more than one voice, just a new one that steadily replaced her old one. Has she, as a writer, realized that she is in possession of many voices as well? If so, why does she continue to categorize her Pygmalion experience a failed one?

Lastly, Smith goes on to talk about Shakespeare. Like Obama, Smith admires Shakespeare’s ability to adapt his many voices. She goes on to say, “…Shakespeare: even more than for his wordplay we cherish him for his lack of allegiance. Our Shakespeare sees always both sides of a thing; he is black and white, male and female – he is everyman.” (142) She views Shakespeare as a man who was able to adapt to every situation and person, a man who does not latch on to just a singular persona, but an ever changing idea of all of them. He was not just able to relate to his audience through his art, but, in a way, also be them. Not only are we presented with a similar contradiction as the one when she speaks about Obama, but we can also observe a new one. She opens her talk on Shakespeare by saying, “For reasons obscure to me, those qualities we cherish in our artists we condemn in our politicians. In our artists we look for the many-colored voice, the multiple sensibility.” (142) Now we might wonder why Smith doesn’t consider herself to possess this same quality of having multiple voices when she is an artist herself.

Although we encounter these contradictions throughout her work, at the end of it, it seems that we are able to get a sense of why Smith chose to do this. She ends her essay by telling us about her night during the election. As Smith herself recounts, she was at a party in New York City when one of her friends called to invite her to another gathering in Harlem. She tells us how she was hesitant at first because, according to her, she was having a lovely time at this party. But she soon realized there was something more to her hesitation than just that. “It’s amazing how many of our cross-cultural and cross-class encounters are limited not by hate or pride or shade, but by another equally insidious, less-discussed, emotion: embarrassment,” says Smith. With this we can infer that maybe Smith feels that her adoption of a new voice has made her far too different from those around her, especially the people her friend invited her to spend the night with. Like she explained, it is not a matter of feeling superior next to others or making judgments based on the different dialects spoken, it is a matter of feeling out of place. Of not being able to relate anymore like she used to because, after all, she now considers herself to speak a different voice that is not truly her own, and maybe for all the wrong reasons.

Perhaps Smith actually considers her Pygmalion experience a tragic one since, as she implies at the beginning of her essay, changing your native way of speaking is, in a way, considered a loss of identity. “Voice adaptation is still the original British sin,” Smith says, “Monitoring and exposing such citizens is a national pastime, as popular as sex scandals and libel cases.” (Smith 133) It is not simply a matter of being able to adjust to your surroundings, but it is almost like a betrayal to who you are and where you come from; it is almost considered as heinous as committing an actual crime. Thus, we might find ourselves confused with the contradictions Smith presents throughout her essay, but, in the end, there is a much deeper dilemma behind it. While being able to adapt your voice according to the people you are surrounded by, the places you find yourself in, and the situations you are exposed to might have many benefits, there will always be a certain feeling of guilt behind it due to the pressures of the societies we live in. It is possible that, in the end, we all are in possession of this so-called ability of having adaptable voices for a wide variety of situations, but the way we got t to achieve them are what determine whether or not they are a curse or a blessing, or a little bit of both. It seems that we can conclude that Smith constantly diminishes her supposedly new, borrowed voice and categorizes it as a curse since, unlike Shaw, Obama, and Shakespeare, she was not born with it. She achieved it by changing her old voice in order to fit in to her new life at the moment, which is the true crime of her actions.

Works Cited

Smith, Zadie. “Speaking In Tongues.” Changing My Mind: Occasional Essays. The Penguin Press, 2009. 133-148.

Amanda Bonet Tkacs
5/22/17
ENG 2150-KWMF

Final Portfolio

Looking back on the essays and projects done throughout the course of this semester, I came to realize that I have gained valuable writing skills that I will continue to carry with me for future classes and even for my personal life. I have noticed the progress I have made from essay to essay. I feel like I have always been a somewhat decent writer, but for Essay 1 I was able to see how my writing process could be more refined and more organized than how I usually do it. I feel like this is something I carried with me for my other essay and for the final project as well. I was able to organize myself much better and be able to narrow down my ideas to focus around my intellectual problem, in regards to my first essay, and to my research topic for my second essay. Even for my final project I was able to put more thought into my decision-making process to better suit my audience and make my project more focused. Thus, I consider that to be my biggest takeaway from this class. I do feel like I have always had certain skills that I put into play when writing essays, such as exploring different ways of approaching it to make it more appealing and taking into consideration how my readers will understand my message, but being able to organize myself better made the process smoother. I also feel like I was able to learn something from every essay/project; from Essay 1, I learned how to make my writing process more organized, from Essay 2 I learned how to narrow down my research, and from Project 3 I learned what to take into consideration when choosing an audience. All of these are skills that will continue to help me for future projects, no matter what class or type of assignment.

Throughout the course of the semester I feel like I was also able to work towards the goals from the syllabus, especially the first and the last one. The first one speaks about critically analyzing text of different genres; I believe I learned how to do that effectively after doing the close reading exercise for the essay Speaking In Tongues. After that exercise I have been able to dissect sentences and essays as a whole in a way I was not able to do before. The last goal on the syllabus speaks about using conventions according to your audience. I was able to really take this one into consideration for Project 3; choosing an audience was something I never really had to do before, thus having to do so made think about other aspects of my project, such as my word choice and the best way to effectively communicate my message. In addition, I was able to work towards the goals of each of the prompts. For example, for Essay 1 I felt like I achieved all of the goals of the assignment; I identified an intellectual problem and worked with it to reach a claim, I provided evidence that supported both my intellectual problem and my claim by doing close reading, and throughout the process of writing my essay I was able to answer the “so what?” question, which guided me towards my claim. For Essay 2 I feel like I was unfortunately not able to achieve all of the goals, but I was able to work towards the first and third goal; I clearly articulated my own research problem about mental illnesses and I used the Baruch Library as a way to find relevant and important information about my topic. And for Project 3 I consider the first goal to be the one I worked towards the most. Although I was able to do a little bit of all of the goals, revising my essay argument for a new audience and a new medium was the hardest task for me, but I ultimately did it in a clear and effective way. In short, every assignment helped me become a better writer, and that is something I value a lot as not only do I enjoy writing for personal reasons, but it is something that will be part of my life forever, whether for simple things as emailing someone or for work-related tasks for the future.

Overall, I have always viewed writing as something very rewarding and crucial to everyone’s life, whether they want to pursue it on a more professional level or simply for everyday life. I have always been a very shy person who does not express much face-to-face, thus writing has always been my outlet for sharing my emotions, thoughts, and ideas. But, even though I have always enjoyed it, I often had this naïve idea that getting good grades and hearing others say they like what I write meant that there wasn’t much more left for me to do other than simply continuing to do what I have always done. However, taking this class made me think otherwise. Throughout this semester I was able to gain various skills I always thought I had but in reality did not, such as making drafts rather than beginning to write down everything in my mind and making changes along the way, narrowing down all my research and ideas, modifying my work for my readers, and so on. Another valuable lesson I learned this semester was that writing does not necessarily have to be an individual process. As I mentioned above, I have always been a very shy and private person, so I never shared any of my writing before turning it in to my professors or letting others read the finished piece, but doing peer-review forced me to step out of my comfort zone and put myself in a position where I had to receive feedback from others, and even harder, from people I did not know. This exercise made me feel more comfortable with receiving constructive criticism about my writing and it ultimately lead to me being more comfortable about my writing as a whole.

I definitely do not see myself as a skilled writer any time soon, but I do see myself as a better one. Now that I look back on the work I have done this semester, I believe I could have done better, but I am still very proud of myself for the progress I made and I am eager to see how much more I am able to achieve with the help of others and with the important lessons I was able to acquire this semester in this class.

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