In the beginning of my freshman year of high school, I had no sense of direction. I had questionable priorities and lacked long-term goals. Getting enough sleep and spending time with the new friends that I’d made were the most important things on my mind and I cruised through the first semester carelessly. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about my academics, but rather that I felt like I had all the time in the world to adapt to high school.
At the same time, I had just made it onto my school’s swim team. It was a sudden transition from swimming recreationally to pumping out hundreds of laps everyday, but I loved it. At every practice, I challenged myself to push harder than the day before; at every competition, I had an overwhelming need to swim a personal best time. While my school grades trembled early on, I held steady in my desire to become faster in the water. Once the first season ended, I realized that I needed other goals to accomplish. So, I transferred my focus to schoolwork. As the years progressed, I became a far more diligent student and I improved greatly in the pool. Swimming kept me grounded and I really think that it saved me from what could have been an academic downspiral.
Yet while I’ve learned to discipline myself both academically and athletically, I’ve also become more stressed over the years. Of course I expect to become a better-informed and more knowledgeable person as I continue through college, and I hope that I’ll quickly find that one subject or class that I love and choose to pursue—but I’m still concerned that, at the end of this semester, I’ll remain completely unsure of what I want to do in the future. I have more responsibilities now than just schoolwork and swimming, and I’m scared that I’ll never be able to find the perfect balance between all the things going on in my life. And while I hope to settle into a solid daily routine, I don’t want school to become tedious. I remember the weeks in high school when I felt completely run down, and I want to do everything I can to avoid that feeling during my next four years in college.
This post resonated with me because I can relate to so much of what you are saying. It’s so difficult to juggle so much at once. As an athlete, I believe it teaches you to manage time properly, but with the risk of personal time being taken away. I have also been unsure about what I want to do in the future, but eventually, I think (and hope) that we will both figure it out. 🙂
Hahaha but, isn’t after surviving that run down time the best. That feeling you get when you know all the pressure is gone now. Like, I am sure you were in play-offs for swimming, right after the competition was over, everything was chill. That is how I feel it is like when it comes to college and maybe even life honestly. Because there is so few times we can be relaxed about life makes it so rewarding. But, that does not mean the rest of our lives has to be a miserable one. It is like you said, that there is a balance to how we spend our time and that is up to us to find. Honestly, in high school, I was different from you, I did not care about school… I just went to training after school almost daily. It was only senior year did I take a step back and try to do more things other then badminton (like hanging out with friends). Maybe, I will change more then I expect in this school. :3
Although I hadn’t been directly involved with sports at my school, outside of school I was a part of two baseball teams (one a played for, one I coached), a basketball team (from about sophomore to mid-senior year), and played football (for all four years). Juggling both sports and relationships with friends outside of school in high school proved to be a relative breeze. As the workload caught up with me both Junior and Senior year, I had to re-prioritize my life, especially if I was going to get in the colleges I wanted to go to. That’s makes your journal entry all-the-more relatable to me. Coming into college know, I’ve adjusted my daily routine to which I can do all (but none in excess), while still remaining comfortable in college. Good luck, and excellent writing.
I feel like your entire post can be turned into a movie. There’s so much character development and self-awareness throughout that I feel like I’m reading a synopsis of a film on IMDB. It’s really cool that you’re aware of both your growth and of what’s to come.